3yr old ds hardly eats, anyone else in the same boat??

[Dragonfly74]

Hi my 3 year old ds has never been the best of eaters but in the last month or so has got worse.
This is what he has had today.
Breakfast, toast which he had 2 bites of and left so I gave him some cereal which he had 2-3 spoons of and left, and a drink of milk.

Dinner, we had roast chicken dinner which he normally loves but again he had 4-5 mouthfuls and then said he was full. 10 minutes after we finished he said he was hungry and asked for a sandwich. This is happening a lot recently he seems to ask for sandwiches for every meal.

For a snack this afternoon we had pizza which he asked for then left.

Supper was porridge which he threw a strop about and refused to eat. (if I was to spoon feed him he would eat it all) but i've told him he's a big boy and can do it himself to which he replies i'm not a big boy i'm a baby!! He had a drink of milk before bed.

I just feel like every meal time is a battle and its driving me crazy, there have been days when i've done 3 different meals for him just to get him to eat.

He is a really healthy active little boy and everyone keeps saying he won't starve himself but its worrying me.

One of my children self-limits his food

We have learned over the years that it is best not to make a fuss

At his worst he ate

Cereal
Mashed Potato
Plastic ham
Peas
Banana/apple/grapes
Bread
Cheese

My advice would be to take the pressure off

When the meal is over take it away without comment

Fruit milk and water readily availabe

Remember that he is rejecting the food not you - this is v difficult because I think for a lot of us lovingly prepared food = care for our children

Thanks BoysAreLikeDogs it is worrying especially when he turns his nose up to a roast dinner in favour of a cheese sandwich.
Maybe i'm just a rubbish cook. Lol.

Hi Dragonfly74 - my DS1 is 3.1 and is also eats very little, I found reading "my child won't eat" by Carlos Gonzales a massive help - it made me realise that toddlers are built to graze rather than eat 3 good meals a day. DS hardly ever eats a hot meal but grazes throughout the day, I try and offer things like bananas, yoghurts, milk, cheese, cereal bars, toast etc so at least it is healthy and nutritious foods that he is eating. He will also ask me to spoon feed him - but I think it's because DS2 still needs spoon feeding yoghurt s etc, and tbh I do do this if he asks

DS2 on the other hand is a human dustbin and will eat anything and everything HTH

DS would also rather have a sandwich or slice of toast any day over a roast dinner - weird aren't they!!

DD was like this but is eating loads at the moment. She went through a phase of refusing all veg and fruit. I just carried on serving it and told her to eat what she likes and leave the rest. Basically I didnt make a fuss even if I was freaking out inside. I continue to offer 3 meals plus healthy snacks (cheese is limited, fruit and yogurt the rest of the time). She now eats fruit and veg (at least at the moment) and eats well. I just remind myself that a child won't starve themselves to death even if it feels as though they are! DS looks to be the same am most of friends whose kids always eat well.

My DS1 was like this until I stopped offering him choices. When he said, "Ugh, that looks disgusting" about a plate of pasta, I immediately took it away and he didn't eat that night. Another time I bought him a brownie when we were out somewhere and he said, "Is that all I'm getting?" and I took it back to the counter and got a refund. Now he eats whatever I give him.

I notice you are forever offering him alternatives if he doesn't eat the first meal... Don't. Really. That's the fastest way to make him fussy.

He eats what you give him, or else he goes without. As soon as he knows that's happening every time, he'll eat what you give him without any hassle.

This sounds like a power struggle to me, which he's winning. Sorry.

I agree with Beautiful. It's a form of control-they see you fretting about them not eating your meals and think bingo! I win. Best advice is again as Beautiful says to offer no alternative. Hard one I know.

I sympathise. Ds1 is a 2.9 yo non-eater. He will only reliably eat:

cereal
bread with pate, tuna or smoked salmon
baked beans or sardines in tomato sauce (but they disagree with him - tomatoes give him a rash )
yoghurt (which he also shouldn't have - dairy intolerant)

occasionally he will eat a banana or egg or pasta

He won't touch potatoes, rice, meat

I worry so much because he is tiny compared to children of the same age, but he has boundless energy so I guess he must be ok.

I don't offer alternatives any more, and will only allow him to snack on bananas between meals (he wants crisps, biscuits, cereal).

I have a fairly fussy 19 month old. All these ideas I do. I was wondering (sorry for hijack) when is it OK to just offer them one meal and then say thats all your getting. Is a 19m old too little (his understanding ) to cope with that?

I agree that offering him alternaties is probably not helping.
I would also not give him pizza for a snack, give him a banana maybe and let him have the pizza for tea when he is hungry again?

not sure sunshineandshowers. My DS only started this when he turned 2. At 19 months, everything is about routine so maybe an earlier tea if you think he is prone to snacking in the afternoons?

I also want to hijack (sorry dragonfly74 ) my ds is 22 months and won't try anything, it's starting to have a very restricted diet.

I have been offering alternatives to his food, namely porridge after whatever he's refused for dinner I really don't know what to do with him

He east porridge/weetabix for his breakfast, then not a lot else for the rest of the day. He used to eat bananas, will ocassionally eat pears or apples. He doens't drink much, althought that is getting better. He still has a bottle of milk on waking and before bed.

He will eat yogurts.

Am seriously considering not offering any alternatives but am not sure if that's mean at his age. He is only little, but really he should be eating a bit more and at least trying things before pushing away his plate

Hi Eddas - does your DS drink lots of milk in his 2 bottles? You could think about decreasing or cutting out his morning bottle - maybe this is filling him up too much or at least taking the edge off his appetite. DS2 is 14 months and only has 1 bottle a day - usually 8oz before bed. He has a drink or milk or water with his breakfast usually.

firststeps, he has 2 8/9 oz bottles, I think you're right that maybe he doesn't really need his first bottle anymore, dd wasn't having one by this age. I guess i've just left him in the habit of having it Right, i'll try giving him his breakfast first thing tomorrow with milk if he wants it afterwards.

Thank you