Violence is always wrong. Discuss.

[OrmIrian]

DS#1 is 12. And not to put too fine a point on it, has a tendency to get into scraps. I am mortified TBH and confused. I am the most peacable person imaginable - and my DB would never had got involved in a fight, wouldn't know what to do. DS is a tall well-built lad and that bothers me too. I don't know if it's a tall poppy syndrome but some boys just seem to go for him. And he doesn't hold back when they do On saturday he was at the the park with some friends (and DD) and some other boys started beating up a mutual friend - kicking him on the ground and hitting him. DS piled in, jumped on the ring leader and pulled him away. The three boys ran off. And older teenager was there and grabbed DS to stop him running off after them.

I don't know what to say or do. I am proud that he stood up for the underdog obviously, but I do not beleive that violence solves anything. And I am honestly worried that in a few years time he might come up against someone with a knife. Is it 'just one of those things (as DH seems to beleive) or do I need to manage this?

I can't beleive that I am having this problem with a child of mine. It just seems incongruous.

Has he always been like this or is it fairly recent?

Could it be some sort of hormone surge?

He has always had a bit of a temper, but this is new. I suppose it could be a hormone thing. In all other ways he's calmed down and got 100% more sensible and grown up.

It's a tough one. What's the worst scenario - him getting involved in a scrap or him doing nothing while his friend was being beaten up?

I wish I had some good advice - have you had the scary knife crime talk? Maybe find some statistics about damage caused by knives to put the wind up him. Or is there a friendly Community Police Officer who would have a chat about the consequences of being done for GBH/ABH?

Well that sounds reassuring

What are his thoughts on it when you talk about what happened? Remorse, anger, embarassment?

I think your concern about the future (knives etc) is a valid one, sadly. What are his views on this sort of thing?

Well that's it hassled. 3 lads on one little one. Not good and I'd have been uncomfortable if he had done nowt too

We have a very nice CSO - maybe I can ask her to come and have a chat. I had a talk to him about my worries about knives. There are some weapons that are seriously more scary than fists and words

He was still angry notnow. He hates injustice. So do I but I don't want him hurt/in trouble in fighting against it. Such a coward.

He doesn't seem to think that knives will hurt him - thinks he's bloody invincible.

In that case get the CSO around to scare him a bit - Tough Love and that .

Thanks hassled. There is a residents meeting next Wed. I will approach her then at least for advice.

He is still so young and sees things in black and white terms sometimes.

I find it a bit embarrassing TBH as it's something so alien to me and my upbringing.

Thanks effect.

DS used to do karate for a while. He has a green belt I think. My problem with that was that whilst the instructor was very good - some sort of Olympic medal I think - he also excelled in other forms of fighting kick boxing, and boxing etc and arranged fight nights. It seemed to me the wrong ethos. DS got very fed up with it in the end. I would be very surprised if I ever got him to agree to something like that again.