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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Walking to school is so stressful - any tips please!!!???

18 replies

NikkiP456 · 09/02/2009 13:31

Hi there, I am about at the end of my teather and need some advice on how to walk my children to school and home again without getting stressed!!! DD is 5 and DS is 4 (and too big for the buggy now). They walk nicely until they meet up with their friends, who are allowed to run off, so of course mine want to do the same!!! Our route is rather busy with lots of roads and cars. DS has no road sense yet and is also incredibly clumsy!!! I have a sticker chart at home but this is clearly not working..... I just want to keep my children safe!!!
Any advice greatly appreciated!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

purepurple · 09/02/2009 13:47

this is a case where you will have to lay down the law! road safety is important so always be consistent.Make them hold your hand all the time. Make the point of those "naughty childre running off and not holding hands.I bet they don't get stickers like you" Play a game as you walk, like spotting different coloured cars or people on bikes or dogs etc. Make it a rule that if they run off and you shout stop, they must stop. Ask them to help you cross the road, ask them when it's safe etc. Do a running commentary as you walk along.
Hope that helps.

Rhubarb · 09/02/2009 13:51

Can you go five minutes earlier so that your route is quieter?
Or have a dummy run at the weekend so they know how to behave when walking to school.
Before you set off, remind them of the behaviour you expect from them. If they do run off, then stop walking and refuse to carry on until they are back by your side. Hopefully the other parents will see you doing this and will disencourage their children to run off with yours.

Original poster

NikkiP456 · 09/02/2009 15:58

Thank you for your advice!!! Walk home was much better.....but we only walked to the car! I just start to lose the plot and all rational thinking goes out the window!!!! If one is behaving then the other one isn't! Perhaps I need to count to ten......or something!......

OP posts:

pluto · 09/02/2009 16:02

This will require considerable planning and support from other parents - but has your neighbourhood got a Walking Bus scheme? It has been fantastic in teaching DS road safety and because there are strict rules about how the children walk (in pairs, supervised by appropriate number of adults etc) the children tend to behave much more sensibly. I know this isn't an overnight solution but it has been brilliant for us.

saadia · 09/02/2009 16:04

My dss used to run off sometimes, then I said that there would be absolutely no television unless they walked nicely and that did the trick.

blametheparents · 09/02/2009 16:04

I find this one of the most stressful times of the day.
We play traffic lights sometimes, red for stop and green for go. It seems to work better then shouting Stop all the time as it is more of a game.
We also play eye-spy sometimes.
Can you leave at a time that means you don't bump into friends, this is when my two go really crazy too.

Original poster

NikkiP456 · 09/02/2009 16:27

There has been talk at our school about one of these schemes Pluto, and it sounds like a fab idea! But it isn't in place at the moment . I just feel like I am the only one getting stressed in this way......all the other parents either seem really in control (usually with older children) or the exact opposite and don't seem to care! I am already planning the walk there tomorrow!......

OP posts:

porkypoo · 09/02/2009 16:35

I would drive if I were you!....

jicky · 09/02/2009 16:50

I walk mine to school down roads with no path - if they run off/misbehave I hold their hands or if they wont hold hands I hold their wrists and do not let them go until we reach school. If this didn't work with yours I would put then on reins. I know they are too old really, but road safety is non negotiable and generally even the threat of reins coming out again works (well it did with mine - they are now all sensible, but there have been mornings when one or other would arrive in tears!)

compo · 09/02/2009 16:53

I think saadia has the best plan
some great advice on here
I will definitely be using it for mine, atm dd is 2.5 and in a pushchair and ds is coming up for 5
but I think when dd turns 3 she will have to walk and I'll face the same dilemmma

Twims · 09/02/2009 17:06

I always give them a place to stop - you can run on be ahead of me and the little one but you need to stop and wait at the red car, the lamp post, the road sign etc

blametheparents · 09/02/2009 18:51

Twims I do that too. It works pretty well

lljkk · 09/02/2009 19:14

ASk them to stop and wait at each lamppost.
They get royally chewed out and penalised if they set foot in the road without me. I have made them come back to the lamp-post where they were supposed to wait before we can proceed, too.

You'd probably hate me, mine are the sort of kids who run off ahead, but they know where to stop and wait so it works for us, problem is that other children sometimes chase after them and alarms other parents who are used to placid heel-walking from their DC.

Commiserations, we've had hellish walking to/fro school for years. Mine often compete for who gets to talk to me so I have to ban all talking, or refuse to discuss anything until we get home (in case they have a right strop about me giving an undesired answer to some 'May I...?' question).

giantkatestacks · 09/02/2009 20:52

i am the same as lljkk I'm afraid so apologies as well.

That being said my ds understands that he influences other children who dont have the same road sense and will walk with me if I ask him.

The traffic light game that blametheparents suggested is great as well.

You could also tell them that if they run off with their friends then the next day they will have to walk x amount behind them holding hands with you as well or you could always set off that little bit earlier or later.

whichever method you use for the school run you'd need some road sense teaching at the same time - at the weekends maybe? Thats where you'll get the most reward I think then you wouldnt have to worry in the first place.

Original poster

NikkiP456 · 09/02/2009 22:10

Thank you for all your responses....I am now questioning how strict I am regarding whether or not running off is acceptable??!! Am I a sargent major mum? (poor things!) My DS is like a little greyhound and if I say stop and he doesn't, it turns into a game of chase and I struggle to keep up!!! Also, my two DC's are very competitive and it turns into a race between them. I don't know now! I'm taking the car tomorrow!.....

OP posts:

giantkatestacks · 10/02/2009 09:02

Dont worry - I dont think you are too strict - they need to stop when you tell them to.

wishingchair · 10/02/2009 12:18

We have to walk to school on a busy road and there is absolutely no running off uncontrollably. I let my 6 yo play red light/green light so she can run a bit when there are no cars but as soon as I hear a car or she gets too far (more than abuot 30 feet away!) I shout red light and she has to stand like a statue.

I don't think you are too strict ... road sense and safety is so important.

Original poster

NikkiP456 · 10/02/2009 14:23

Thank you! I was starting to think I becoming a old dragon!!! I just get all jittery when they get too far ahead, I am worried that they wont hear me or I can't catch them! I tried the lampost thing today with my DS on the way home from nursery on his own and it seemed to work very well , so I will continue with this tonight when my DD comes out of school. Rewarding them with stickers when I get them home too for good listening and walking!! Three times a day is starting to wear me down a little!.....

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