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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

how long is ds (2.9) going to continue pooing in his pants?

26 replies

deaconblue · 08/02/2009 21:47

started potty training 3 weeks ago and he's pretty much dry during the day. Am very pleased as he was really quite resistant to the idea initially. But he hasn't done a single poo in the potty or toilet yet. He disappears into a corner and poos in his pants. Have tried sitting him on the potty at typically pooey times and reading stories (45 mins one afternoon. He went in his pants 2 mins after I gave up!) and he really wants to win the Thomas train that would be his reward for just a single poo in the potty but just doesn't seem to get it. He tells me as soon as he's done it too so definitely knows what's going on.
ideas please...

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foxinsocks · 08/02/2009 21:49

oh ds did this

I cannot remember how long it went on. Felt like a lifetime, was probably more like a number of weeks.

Will it make you feel better if I tell you this is a typically boy thing?

foxinsocks · 08/02/2009 21:52

we had to talk poo for weeks. First I tried to ignore it, thinking he would come round.

Then I realised he was doing it because he really did not like the sensation of letting the poo go when it wasn't right in his pants. So we had LOTS of poo talks. And went to the farm and we watched other animals poo. We watched his sister poo. He watched me poo . Our lives were filled with poo.

And then we watched a film where a fly ate a poo cake (might have been antz life or one of those insect ones) and he thought this was hysterical. And then he did it.

But it was v v quick. He did not want to sit around on the loo at all. He literally made it last minute and it came out straight away (he still does that now). And we had accidents for a long time.

It's So easy to say, but try not to get stressed. Buy loads of £1 asda or primark underpants so you can just chuck them away. Also, if you feel he's emotionally strong enough, when he goes off to the corner, see if you can grab him to put him on the loo (but don't try till you think it might not terrify him!).

Original poster

deaconblue · 08/02/2009 21:52

It's so odd that only weeks ago I was wiping poo from his nappied bum without batting an eyelid, but scraping it out of pants makes me heave. I get watery eyes with the effort of not letting him see how much it makes me want to vom!!!

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foxinsocks · 08/02/2009 21:54

oh give up scraping, seriously. Invest in the cheap pants. I know it's probably bad for the environment but after I realised this probably wasn't going to resolve itself in a day, I resigned myself to it.

I also vom very easily so didn't handle it v well (also not easy getting pooey pants off a big toddler without getting it everywhere!).

simpson · 08/02/2009 21:55

Ds did this too....drove me round the bend.

I really feel for you.

What used to annoy me more than the actual pooing in the pants was the fact that he wouldn't tell me he had done it iyswim.

DS did finally get it but it took a good few months (sorry might not be want you want to hear )

I think he had a fear of poo falling out of him if that makes sense as when done in pants it doesn't go anywhere (sorry TMI)

Unfortunately i think all you can do is relax about it and just clean up mess...Does he have an older sibling who he can watch going to loo etc?

DS literally got it over night and just suddenly said he needed poo and did one on loo.

Might be worth giving him lots of fruit to eat so its easier to go iyswim...

MinkyBorage · 08/02/2009 21:56

Why don't you try putting him in a nappy at typical pooey times, then at least he is controlling it. If he asked for a nappy to do a poo it, you would have nearly cracked it.
A book I ready suggests doing that, then when that's established successfully, sit him on the toilet in a nappy......... hopefully it will be sorted long before then.
The last thing you want is for him to get anxious about it and start witholding.

Good luck.

SniffyHock · 08/02/2009 21:58

I agree with the cheap pants - just put them in a nappy sack and treat it like a nappy. It will just click one day, I think it lasted about a month with DS (but felt like forever!)

simpson · 08/02/2009 21:58

Deffo use cheap pants and bin them thats what I did otherwise I would be vomming everywhere

Foxinsocks said the same thing...think its a fear of the unknown ie poo falling out of them. We bought a couple of toilet training books for him to read too.

Have heard that some people put an open nappy over potty but never tried that myself...

SniffyHock · 08/02/2009 21:59

Forgot to add, try and make it no big deal but every time he does it take him with you and put the poo down the loo telling him that's where it 'lives'.

foxinsocks · 08/02/2009 22:00

yes it's definitely that isn't it simpson

because if it was fear of a poo itself, they wouldn't be doing it at all

simpson, your tip about fruit is v v good....that's VERY important shopping

just when ds had got the hang of it, he got constipated (can't remember how that happened becuase he eats loads of fruit, think he'd been ill), and this set him back again and he pooed in his pants for another few weeks . You have to keep a really close eye on it because I think when they do have this tendency, it's quite easy for them to develop the fear again.

foxinsocks · 08/02/2009 22:02

lol at all of us

shopping, we are all holding your hands virtually

simpson · 08/02/2009 22:05

The first time DS did poo in the loo was an accident because I had given him sooo much fruit to try and "help" him go.

He went to do a wee and then said "mummy poo just came out"

After that there was no problem....

There was one relieved mummy I can tell you

caspercat · 08/02/2009 22:07

DD doing this. We were at a soft play area, she was upstairs playing with a friend. I saw her 'poo face' & before i knew it, she was on her way down the slide . At 36 wks pregnant, i couldn't get to her on time. There were 'skid marks' , is all i'm saying.
Anyway, just empathy from me, no solutions i'm afraid as still trying. Have given up a few times, & put her nappy back on cos she asked us. We have had about 3 successful toilet poos, so i know she can do it. Even tho she eats loads of fruit & veg, she does say 'it's a bit hard', & tbh, it looks it! So we've also tried giving her more juice etc. Is a shame really, cos after not doing a poo overnight for about 18mths, she's started doing that again cos she's holding on to it. And the cheap knickers thing doesn't work for us, cos being a girl, she's v particular about the knickers she wears & it's not worth the battle...sigh....but determined not to go back to full time nappy wearing, as was her decision to start wearing knickers in the 1st place!!

Anyway, will watch for tips. Good luck everyone...

MinkyBorage · 08/02/2009 22:20

Casparcat, hopefully this is not relavent at all, but I'm posting it because I wish I'd seen something like it a year ago.a year ago! This is my experience. It doesn't sound that similar tou yours, but there are some good posts on there with tips etc (not from me!) which may be of use.

Original poster

deaconblue · 09/02/2009 19:46

thanks everyone, is so good to see there are lots of other pants pooers out there. This evening I was changing dd's nappy and ds was jigging around, so I said "do you want to have a poo poo? Try sitting on the potty and maybe you can win Diesel 10" "no, thank you mummy" (he may crap his pants but he's jolly polite!). He ran into the next room, I followed him and he'd pooed in his pants that very bloody second. grrr

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Original poster

deaconblue · 09/02/2009 19:47

will take note of fruit tip too. Was nervous about giving too much fruit as the thought of diarroea (sp???) in pants was beyond unbearble

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simpson · 09/02/2009 21:24

I was worried about diarrhea (sp) too.

In the end I didn't up the fruit too much straight away and did it gradually. Started off with one extra portion etc.

Found grapes to work the best

Good luck!!

cloudsandsunshine · 10/02/2009 15:34

Advised to try this website for hope and answers, and pleased to say I feel a lot happier even though I have just thrown away my 101st pair of pants. DS2 (I hope I got that right!) now three and still pooing in pants 2 months after we started pt(sad)! Health visitor said not to put him back in nappies as it is not recommended but couldn't suggest anything else(hmm).He has no accidents wee wise and is also dry at night. How long can this go on?

jalopy · 10/02/2009 15:51

My son used to do this. I offered him a nappy to poo in because he was anxious about doing it on the toilet or potty.

It worked out fine. Stayed in pants all day, dry at night but had a nappy for a poo.

It was no hindrance or setback.

crokky · 10/02/2009 15:54

Does he not want anyone watching him pooing? Can you get a couple more potties and put them in the corners/secluded places where he likes pooing?

cloudsandsunshine · 10/02/2009 16:08

He definitely goes to a quieter place but always has access to the loo (hated potty). Jalopy how long did the pooing in the nappy last and what made him go to the loo?

hoarsewhisperer · 10/02/2009 16:10

we had this for MONTHS when ds1 was this age. he used to hide in a corner and then waddle up to me, doing a John Wayne walk and saying, I';ve pooed in my pants mummy.

We finally solved it on our summer holiday by letting him walk around naked and when he needed to poo, he did it on the grass and i felt like a dog walker as i pooper scooped it up. Needless to say the house we were staying in was very secluded.

after a couple of days i whipped the potty out while he was at it and bunged it under his bottom. The look of realisation on his face, "so THAT's where it's supposed to go" was priceless and thereafter he asked to go to the potty.

Shame it is snowing outside!

he'll get the idea sooner or later.

Owls · 10/02/2009 16:42

Shoppingbags, sorry nothing useful to add to what's been said already, but just had to say he is gorgeous isn't he. Just peaked at your profile.

jalopy · 10/02/2009 16:56

Cloud, I can't remember but it probably would have been a matter of weeks.

He just seemed to make his own mind up.

Original poster

deaconblue · 10/02/2009 20:26

ah thank you owls, I think he's gorgeous, in an unfortunately Boris Johnson kind of style. He really is champion plopmeister. I suspect he prefers to be hidden away. Annoying hting is that when we did 1 day of potty training in Sept and gave up a poo was the only successful potty trip the entire day. PErhaps I shpould be brave and leave his pants off after his evening meal in hope of catching a poo. hate the thought of a turd lurking on my carpet though.

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