My 2-month-old seems so unsettled/unhappy

[bean612]

Just looking for reassurance, really - my DD is 9 weeks old and though it's been a rocky old time, I am starting to find my feet, I think. But she cries so much. She will happily watch her musical mobile go round or play on her baby gym for maybe 10 mins at a time, or if we are out she'll watch people for a while, but then she'll always start to cry and is difficult to soothe any other way than to get her to sleep (in my arms/the sling/driving around in the car). Forget putting her down anywhere other than the aforementioned playmat. It's not just that she wants cuddles - she does, but often even when I or DH are cuddling her she's still upset, sometimes hysterical. Is it (I know there's not really any such thing) for her to cry so much? I know she's too little to be sad (she doesn't know such emotions exist) but it feels awful that she seems so upset so often, even when she's not hungry or tired or cold, and her nappy is clean. I know babies cry, that's what they do, but... And it's not a colic problem, though she does do the screaming in the evening thing sometimes too. But in a way that's easier to deal with, since it's such a commonly recognised problem and I can tell myself that it should pass in a month or two. General daytime misery, though, seems less common, or less commonly discussed.

Oh, Bean, I feel for you, dd2 was like this. I can only promise it does get better - although at the time it feels like forever, particularly if (like dd2) she cries thoughout the night as well, so you're really tired.

Yes, some babies are cryers - the only things that worked for dd2 were a baby swing, and when she found her thumb. There's no easy answer - but it will get better, it's only a matter of time.

And I can promise you, she's not crying because she's upset - could be any of a million reasons, but she's not upset. You sound like a great mum and she's just making herself heard! Just do what you need to do to get through each day, it will pass.

My DS cried a lot but I think he used to get overtired very quickly and find it hard to just switch off and sleep.

Sometimes they can get into a very bad overtired cycle where they can't sleep well because they are too tired, which sounds mad I know.

Sounds as though she likes movement. Put her in her pushchair and go for a walk when it gets too much. The other thing to try might be white noise (e.g. a hair dryer).

Thank you - it helps to hear that. Even though I know it's just a matter of waiting it out (weeks... months...), sometimes it feels as though everyone else's babies are all smiles. It certainly seems that way with friends' babies - I don't like to complain too much because I'm afraid it makes me sound whingey. Sometimes I feel like a toddler with a temper tantrum - "Why is mine the only one who cries all the time? It's not fair!" And it's exhausting, too, as you obviously know, although I'm lucky in that - thus far - she generally doesn't cry at night (once she's been fed). We did buy her a very expensive swing, recommended all over the place, 5 stars on Amazon from dozens of reviewers, etc. She hates it! She has occasionally found her thumb to suck, and frankly I wish she would find it more often. We've tried dummies but she wasn't impressed...

My DS was so difficult between 9 and 11 weeks. I remember counting down the days to him being 12 weeks as he was so difficult and HV had promised that once he turned 12 weeks he would greatly improve. I remember the days when I hated taking him anywhere as I thought people would think I couldnt cope etc. And yes, all the other babies seemed so happy and pleasant.

Walking round the house with him in a sling was the only thing that really helped but even then he screamed the house down at times. Colic and reflux were questioned but never really fully diagnosed, I just remember it being a v difficult time.

Please hang in there, it does get better, when DS reached 12 weeks it was like a flick had been switched and he is now the most adorable, happy chappy ever. Im so lucky!

My DD was the same and she also stopped at 12 weeks. My GP said that the unsettled period peaks between 6 and 12 weeks. If it's any consolation, I was told by a lady who was an experienced foster mum that DD would end up a sweet-natured and loving child because of all the cuddles she got through her crying stage.....she was right. DD is now 2 and she is soooo affectionate. You really are doing a wonderful job. I know how helpless you feel but remember that it's not because you are a bad mum. The fact that you're so desperate to help her proves you're not

Ds used to cry all day. And I mean ALL DAY. Everyone remarked on it and I had some quite hurtful comments along the lines of 'He's a real misery isn't he?' etc. It turned out he had silent reflux which meds helped sort out when it was diagnosed at 12 weeks. By 6 months it was as if he had had a complete personality transplant and was smiles all day.

Not saying your baby has reflux, but it's worth thinking if there are any other signs (especially unhappy while/after feeding, acidic breath, can't bear to lie flat, poor sleeping etc). He too hated his baby swing (probably because it exacerbated it!). They don't necessarily throw up much.

I do sympathise at any rate. It's no joke when they cry that much.

Jimmy, I've just been looking into silent reflux and think this could be it! She does have some of the symptoms - arching neck and back and turning head while feeding (though not always), frequent hiccups, frequent waking while sleeping at night (when she is on her back, as opposed to happily sleeping for hours in a sling, ie. upright), excessive drooling, and of course general irritability. I've started a new thread about this to get some more advice. Thank you so much for suggesting it - this could really help. And thanks to everyone else for advice and support. Strangely she has been really happy today - babies, eh? They don't make any sense at all!

Hi my 2months old baby is always unsettled even when she’s not hungry and her nappy is clean I have tried settling her but is not working at all , I gives her infacol (for colic) she’s still very unsettled she cry’s in the day and night ,