Need some advice

[uclaire]

Hi there - I am new, but hoping to get some feedback/advice on my son's behaviour, he is 5 and in year 1 at school
All my worries started last October when his teacher at the time said that she had concerns about him and could we arrange to have him assessed via our GP, she didn't say what she thought might be the matter but the various issues are or were:

Not concentrating for very long and sometimes not sitting still (not always)

Sometimes not good eye contact (but he is shy and he does this when he feels uncomfortable)

He also has said he doesn't have anyone to play with, but this is getting better I think

Difficulty writing, he is not as good as he should be for his age, but is improving

If he feels he won't be able to do something (like a throwing game), then refusing to even try.

The latest thing is that he is hugging 2 other children in his class, even through they may well not really want him too Obviously this I will make sure he stops doing as this is not fair on the other children.

Sorry for such a long post, but I wondered if anyone else has similar worries or concerns and could advise me. The last thing I should say is that he is an only child and we really don't have any problems with him at home, he (mostly) does what he is told and we have a fairly relaxed time at weekends/evening etc.

Many thanks

sounds to me like he has trouble soritng out what the 'norm' is for socialising

in your place i might enrol him into cubs and other such groups

thanks for replying. He is in one after school club, which he loves and that seems to be helping his concentration. I think you are right, he feels shy and is not sure how to behave...

Sounds to me like he is just very shy and has poor concentration (like I would guess many 5 year old boys!) Does he/has he spend much time socialising with friends (at toddler groups, after school clubs etc?) It might help his confidence to do this - although I wouldn't push him as it could make him retreat more into his shell. I really don't think you should worry, I think sometimes people can be very quick to want to diagnose an illness in children who are just a bit slower to fit into the perceived "norm" than others - he is only so young and it must be very daunting to be at school anyway!

he has one good friend, who is unfortunately not at the same school but they have a good time when they meet up, I'll try and make sure that is more often. Thanks for answering my post, I think I am worrying too much, but it is easier said than done to stop!

i could be very wrong here but he sounds like a perfectly healthy normal 5 year old. i remember is truggled desperately when i was little with eye contact and making friends etc. i could barely look at teachers when they spoke directly to me until i was about 12!

i was very shy and i still get a little unsure with the eye contact thing now, too much and i look like a weirdo, not enough and i look like i'm not interested and have a bad attitude. it's very confusing for a 5 year old.

the lack of concentration and inabilityto sit still is in my opinion very normal for a 5 year old, especially boys. does he seem to have excess energy? maybe football or swimming etc would help calm him and alsp help him make more friends.

i wouldn't worry though he sounds fine to me. x

I just posted separately, but still concerns, made worse today when picking him up from school