nightmare baby not getting better after 18 months!

[bumbly]

i simply cannot cope anymore with his whigning and wanting to be with me all the bloody time

never everever plays by himself ever

and i have had enough of reading for hours and horus and playing for hours and hours every single day

now at 18 months the straw tonight was him screaming screaming as all i was doing was warming his food off

how people have two children who knows - i think folk have easy first babies and think that is how it is

they should try my little one for a dsy

but am exhausted at not having an independent child

Poor you. Can you afford to put him nursery for a morning a week to give yourself a break? Do you get out to M&T groups?

My first child was extremely demanding, too. It's tiring. it doesn't last forever, I promise...

Hope someone else can come along with more useful advice!

Bumbly I remember you from some of your other threads a while back. I'm sorry it's not getting any easier. Maybe you would be happier going back to work, if you haven't already? It might help your sanity and maybe your DS would find some independence?

Oh bumbly, I've got one of those too. He's 17.5 months and it's exhausting. Some days I count down the hours until nap or bedtime as it's literally the only time I get to put the bins out, get anything done round the house, or just sit and have a cup of tea in peace. DH has even suggested I wear earplugs during the day, as the shrieky whinging is like being forced to listen to radio static on full blast all day, totally torturous. I think it's worse as they can't quite explain what they want yet, so it's a constant guessing game.

If he'd come first, I'm not so sure I'd have had more, he's been a nightmare from the birth onwards! ds1 was a doddle in comparison..

This sounds harsh but not as harsh as going back to work! but can you try leaving him alone to play? Yes he'll yell to start with, but would he then not eventually get on and play by himself?

Maybe try it for 1 minute on day 1, 3 minutes on day 2, 7 minutes on day 3, etc.

Neither of mine have ever been clingey, but that's because I've always been too busy to play/read for hours, and they've had to entertain themselves sometimes.

18 months is a really hard age - if my DS is anything to go by, he didn't really get the capacity to entertain himself until about 24 months. He will now watch TV or colour or listen to a story CD for about half an hour - woo-hoo!!

At that age I used to do things like strap him into his highchair while I did the washing up and sing continuously to him, or if I had to do cooking I would give him a bowl of lentils or something to play with and tell him he was "cooking" too - essentially just try to get him involved in all my essential tasks.

As for having 2 children, sadly I think a large part of the answer is that you get used to hearing a lot of screaming and it stops bothering you so much! One of my two is always yelling about something or other and I am developing a very thick skin...

Bumbly, I so sympathise as my ds2 is EXACTLY like this - I feel like he's done nothing but whinge and cling since he was about 6 months old. It is really really hard, but things that help me now are small windows of time when he will sit in his highchair playing with play dough (always with me in sight in the kitchen of course!), In The Night Garden - he will sometimes watch this for 5 or 10 mintues at a time, giving me just enough time to warm up his lunch or tea. I also sometimes do what Beautiful mentions - I just leave him on his own for a couple of minutes, even if he's crying if there's something I really have to do. Every now and again after a couple of minutes the whingeing does stop and he will play by himself. But what really keeps me sane is working part time - is there any way you can get a bit of time away? Apparently, clinginess starts to diminish from 18 months on - although I think in our case it will be a very gradual process! Good luck and hang on in there - you're not alone!