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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

6 year old boy help

8 replies

jennyd · 01/04/2003 21:14

I am ashamed i am having to admit this but really need advice.Has anyone seen the 'mummy's laid an egg' book as my son seems to be confused about the fact that its adults who do the positions they show in there. He tried to put his willy in his sisters bottom a while ago and the other day touched another girls bottom when they were playing in the bedroom. thankfully the mother is very understanding.I have explained very clearly that this is for adults only but he obviously has not grasped that idea. I wish I had never shown him the book and my husband is cross with me for showing him.But he was aking questions alot when I was pregnant with my third child.i know experimenting is normal but I feel like I am going to have to ban him from being in bedrooms with girls. help advice needed.

OP posts:

edgarcat · 02/04/2003 16:22

Message withdrawn

Original poster

jennyd · 03/04/2003 11:04

Thank you Edgarcat i think i might do that. I brought the book in a childrens section at my local book shop and it was with lots of ohter very young childrens books, so i presumed it was app for a 6 yrear old. the book is now in the bin but the damage is done he clearly knows to much for his age or maturity.
starting to feel more ashamed as no one else has advice, may be this isnt normal behaviour.

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Original poster

jennyd · 03/04/2003 11:08

ps never had to deal with sex education before as he is my first child and a trying one at that, (although of course wouldn't change him, well maybe bits.) i remember being told at 6/7 when my mum was pregnant with my sister. i have a friend who says nothing to her children if she can help it and if she has to she skirts around the subject. maybe she has the right idea.

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Batters · 03/04/2003 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lara2 · 03/04/2003 20:05

I think that you need to chat with him to iron out his misunderstandings. Sweeping questions about sex under the carpet isn't the best thing to do. If he has asked questions then he deserves a truthful answer appropriate to his age, maturity and how he understands things. Don't worry too much - kids do explore - and if you get cross or upset then you run the risk of him never asking you again. Don't be ashamed either, I'm sure that when you chat to him, he will understand that sex/making babies is what grown-ups do because children need looking after themselves and so can't have sex and have babies.
I once taught in a nursery and heard a very interesting conversation going on in the home corner (as they were called then!), :
" Wow!! Make it do that again!"
" OK "
" Can it bend? Does that hurt you?"
I looked over the top of the bookcase and there were two just 4 year olds lying on the floor and she was holding his penis and was VERY facinated to say the least!! I just calmly asked them to come and talk to me, we had a little chat about private parts of our bodies - especially with people who weren't part of our family etc, had a quick chat with their mums (very low key - no panic)and everything was fine. No scarring for life or funny ideas about sex.
Batters is right, your DH shouldn't be cross with you - that's not being fair. BTW, I loved the 'Mummy Laid an Egg' book, and so did my 1st ds. DS2 is 6 and has looked at it sometimes but not really asked anything yet. Somehow, I always get to answer the sex/body questions as my DH always finds something important to do!!!

janh · 03/04/2003 20:41

Lara2, I agree about the chatting.

jenny, sorry I didn't reply to you yesterday, this hasn't happened to me as a parent so I was waiting to see what somebody else said...!

Have you tried asking him why he has done the bottom-touching etc? At his age it really won't be "sexual" in the adult sense. I can remember being very curious myself when I found out about s-e-x and I was much older than 6 - can't remember exactly but maybe 10/11. If I'd had a little brother to experiment on who knows....!

Agree with Batters also that it's not fair for your husband to be cross with you - you had the best of intentions and couldn't know it would go a bit pear-shaped - in fact why doesn't he talk to DS and sort the whole thing out man-to-man??? (If he does though make sure he does it kindly.)

Curiosity is natural - experimentation is natural - maybe your DS was hoping to make a baby of his own!

Rhiannon · 03/04/2003 22:01

An answer you could try to any awkward question is "what do you think?" And when he/she gives some crazy answer just agree.

Do you really think children that believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy need to know the facts of life too?

Original poster

jennyd · 06/04/2003 19:32

thank you every one for your advice. on friday i had the same friends over to play and they were all up stairs 3 girls 1 boy (my son)and they playing mummys and daddys with the kitchen stuff (and clothes on). my friend and I guessed that is what they were playing last week and he took it to far.I dont feel so panicky now. I have chatted to him a few times about what happened and he said he knows that only adults do what it said in the book. i love the home corner conversation lara2. and as for my DS whanting to make another baby he'll be lucky our youngest is only 3 months, he's got atleast another 9 months wait!!!!!!!!!

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