Please suggest sleep routine for 7 month old

[Benjy]

DD is our first child and I think we are generally doing ok but we have made some mistakes with setting a bedtime routine in that we haven't done so really. During the first few months she seemed to sleep well during the night and over time for longer periods so I just trusted that she would be able to sleep well by herself and thought I should just be led by her.

She is now 7 months and this approach is not working! She will fall asleep in the living room with us between 8.30pm - 12pm. We then put her to bed and she tends to wake between 5.30am - 7am. The earliest I get her up and start the day is 6.30-7am.

She naps during the day on average for 3-4 hours.

I am going to put her to bed tonight awake at 8pm. At the moment if she falls asleep at 8.30pm, she will wake a couple of hours later for another bottle so I imagine I should plan a dream feed for 10-11pm. Is that a good idea or should I see if she can make it through the night without one?

Any advice about getting a good routine established would be welcome. DH is finding evenings very stressful and we currently have no time alone together as a couple, which is beginning to take its toll on our relationship so it is quite important to us to reclaim some of our evenings.

Thanks.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/691690-8-month-old-daytime-naps

Have a look there u might find it usefull

Thanks but there's only one reply on that thread and it's about daytime naps. Could anyone else give me some advice?

hello, my dd is just approaching 7 months so i can tell you our routine for comparison. she is my second, think son was very similar at this age.

goes to bed awake at 7pm, or just before. in same room as ds, 2.5.

she then sleeps through, wakes between 6 and 7 am.
has breastfeed at 7
solids at 8
nap 9-10.30
breastfeed 11
solids at 12
nap 1-3 pm - same time as ds
breastfeed 3pm
solid tea 5pm
bath 6pm
breastfeed
bed - 7

she has only had solids for 3 weeks, but i think eats and digests a bit
sleep was the same before starting solids

we co-slept and fed most of night up to 5 months, when she became very windy and unsettled at night and cranky in the day, so went first to cot/night weaning then in with ds 2 weeks ago.

hope this helps-know what you mean about evenings

You need to decide what time you will put her to bed and stick to it every night (unless a one off event comes up)
Make sure she is full,maybe a bath to calm her, a clean nappy and then into bed.
You need to keep the routine the same for a good few weeks and be prepared for a few tears!

Time to yourselves as a couple is really important and although these next few weeks may be a bit unsettled in the evening it will be worth it

I would play it by ear with the dream feed, see how she goes but be prepared to offer a bottle if she wakes.

Dont be suprised if it doesnt work straight away and you may need to stay with her to start with but stick it out and you will find our own routine that suit you all

Thank you very much for your advice. She went to bed at 7.30 last night and fell asleep quickly, woke 40 minutes later but I was able to settle her within 5 minutes and then she slept until 5am. I spent an hour with her and she then fell asleep at 6 until I woke her at 7 so a good start.

The next thing I need to tackle is how she falls asleep. She will only settle at the moment if she is allowed to fall asleep on my first next to her cot. She becomes very distressed if I try and put her down in her cot while she is awake.

Should I give it another few nights of establishing this routine before I try and break this habit and do you have any tips on how to do this with the minimum of distress to DD? (I don't want to go down the controlled crying route).

Violeteyes, thank you for posting your routine. I wondered how you amend this if you go out during the day. DD and I are often out and at different times each day so I've been unsure of how to introduce a daytime routine that would work for us.

Glad it seems to be improving for you. I did
this
basically Gina Ford after 6mths
up 7am every day
bf/bottle then
8am breakfast
9-945 nap
10 snack with water
1145 lunch
1215 nap
1430 up and bf/bottle and later swap to water and snack (now 10mths)
1700 dinner
1830 bf/bottle
7pm sleep.
We did the gradual withdrawal for sleep self soothing. Started with a short cuddle, put down and hand on tummy while rocking the cot. Then just cuddle then hand on tummy, then just cuddle and leave. Whenever we returned we didn't pick her up just rubbed her tummy and shush shushed her. Used a dummy for the first few times but never put it back in if it fell out iyswim. If she woke up we just went in and calmed her with shush/pat/rub and sat in her room for a while.
Fitting naps in just means that when their body goes to sleep at the same time each day they begin to get sleepy at the same time each day and settle easier. I tend to let my dd sleep in her pram for the morning one and then put her upstairs in her cot for the long one, if you know they fall asleep in a pram or car try to time journeys for when they need to sleep.

PS for the short term it is worth just going out around nap times until the routine is established, then once they go to sleep straight away at those times you can amend it to sleeping in the car/pram if you need to. I always go out every morning so dd2 had to fit in with me and dd1 iyswim. If you go to friends with children make use of their cot. At a playgroup park the pram facing the wall to avoid distractions. Allow 5-10 wailing though because they have to learn the cues mean sleep.

This is what I did when my dd was that age

7am awake bottle and breakfast

no morning nap

11.00 /11.30 lunch

12.00 - 14.00 lunchtime nap (took some work getting her to do this)

7.00 - bed

11.00 - feed and then back to sleep until 7amish - I slowly weaned her off this feed by reducing it ounce by ounce over several weeks until there was no point her waking up for it or me waking her up

i very rarely mess with naps-it is resticting, but i really want them both to be predictable and well rested. i do have lots of friends and activities quite near by so usually go out between 10.30 and 12.30, maybe have friend over or out again 4-5ish.

with dd, i tried to get morning nap in pram, but this never really worked out, ds never been good at pram naps either. we do occaisionally do longer trips usually to visit friends further away, when i try to time driving with nap times. very occaisionally do a to hell with it day-but the next day will be a bit tricky.

i find being very organised as in bags by door, me ans ds dressed, shoes on etc means we literally do leave the house at 10.30. take lunch with us etc to make most of free window!

it is only really a short time-i am already starting to reduce dd morning nap by 15 mins, soon to drop another 15 mins which means we can go out at 10.

we did gradual withdrawel/hand on tummy thing too. worked really quickly. only probs now are some too early wakings from one of them-closer to 5 than 6 maybe once a week.

by short time, i mean a short time to be so restricted, i remember enjoying the greater freedom when ds went from 2 naps to 1

DS(now 2years2months) did this
7am milk feed
8am solid feed
9am-11am sleep in cot (put self to sleep with or without dummy)
11am milk feed
1-3pm sleep in cot
5pm solid food
5.45 bath
6pm milk feed
6.30 bed
After 9 weeks I put him in to bed awake and very very rarely had to go back in to settle him.
I have tried this same approach with DD 7months to no avail. She sometimes settles herself for her day naps, other times she cries hysterically as I go in and out shushing and patting until eventually I give up (it seems slightly ridiculous to continue after 45 minutes). She then stays awake until the next feed when she promptly conks out. I swore I would never ever 'feed to sleep'. She sometimes sleeps 2 hours, sometimes 25 minutes.
I have Gina Forded and 'Baby Whisperered' until blue in the face but she is resitant!The most important thing for me is that she is happy and that she sleeps from 6.15pm-7amish regardless of what she's done in the day.
Lucky she's not my first or I would be convinced that I was doing it 'wrong'. There is no 'wrong'. Every child is an individual. All you can do is decide what works best for both of you and go with that.

Shylily, thanks for posting your routine. I do sometimes feel that I am doing it 'wrong'; your comments really resonated with me.

DD is going to sleep well at night. Over the last couple of nights, I have cuddled her until she has got drowsy and then placed her in her cot before she is asleep. She is taking a little longer to settle, and I still have to sit beside the cot while she does, but on the whole this is going well. I'm hoping to gradually get to the point where I am putting her down in her cot and leaving the room before she falls asleep.

She is waking at 3.30am but settles herself back to sleep without me needing to go into her room. She is waking, however, at any time between 4.45-5.30 and not going back to sleep. She will babble away to herself for a while so I generally leave her until she starts to cry, which is usually after half an hour or so. I'll then go into her room, comfort her and sit next to the cot for another half hour so I'm not getting her up before 6am. Consequently, though, she is quite tired before she starts the day and she is grumpy and miserable throughout the day.

I was wondering, Shylily and Violeteyes since your routines most closely resemble my own, if your DC wakes very early how do you adapt your daytime routine and also what activities do you do with your DC every day between nap times?