Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Tips for handling toddler with introduction of new sibling...

10 replies

Daffodilly · 03/02/2009 21:09

I am sure this has been done many times, but I'd appreciate any advice.

I've just had DS (2 weeks old) and DD is 2.2 yrs. She is being very good with her brother - lots of cuddles, stroking, showing him toys, etc - I couldn't have asked for more.

However, she is being fairly 'demanding' and testing in other ways. I think part of it is that she is a bit bored, we are stuck in the house more than normal and I'm stuck on the sofa doing lots of feeding. Also I am tired and not as patient as normal. She is used to having my undivided attention (SAHM) and I know this is a big change for her - but the tantrums over minor things that wouldn't normally be a big deal are wearing me down.

Also I find myself breathing a sigh of relief when DH or grandparents take her off my hands for an hour and I get to snuggle up with my gorgeous cuddly newborn who doesn't shout back at me! [guilt]

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MauriceDancer · 03/02/2009 21:14

personally i think you just have to ride it out, it is a HUGE change for them. i was fairly lucky in that dd2 was tiny and stayed in her sling all the time, so for dd1 it was the next best thing to not having a sister at all. congrats on your new boy.

smurfette15 · 04/02/2009 12:19

Wow....you have just described MY life for the last 2months!! DS is 2 months & DD is 2yrs 10 months. Things are starting to get better now so try not to worry too much. I know it's difficult but try to give her 10 mins a day of your undivided attention without the baby. I would have a bath with my DD as it had the added advantage of multi-tasking.....her clean, me clean and precious mummy-time for DD!! Hope all goes well

mumof2andmad · 04/02/2009 14:48

I had just under a two year gap between my two girls. My eldest was used to being constantly glued to my hip and was the centre of my universe and suddenly another one came along! She was a very good baby and I feel a bit guilty that she didnt have my undivided attention like her sister did. She is making up for it now!
I tried to involve oldest one as much as possible, helping to change and bath etc the new baby. She also had a baby doll that she would 'change' while I changed new baby.
Also ask any visitors to make a big fuss of the eldest one before they all coo over the little one. The little one wont remember but it'll make the eldest feel good!

Congrats on your baby, remember you cant tear yourself in two, I think it's an important thing for a child to realise they are not the centre of the universe even if its a difficult lesson!

TheProvincialLady · 04/02/2009 15:02

My DS2 is 6 weeks and DS1 2.5 - we had a few issues whem DH went back to work as DS1 found the loss of attention hard to handle. Once the first couple of weeks are over try to get out of the house as much as possible - ~I thought it would be harder but it is actually much easier as DS1 is entertained (or at least strapped into buggy!). Find places you can BF easily and where your oldest will be kept busy, such as soft play or a museum, or a friend's house.

DS1 now copes brilliantly even though we have been stuck indoors for the last 3 days. Plenty of jigsaws helps as he is mad on them. I second the co-bathing suggestion - we do it most days and it gives us some time for just the two of us. It does get easier

eekamoose · 04/02/2009 15:22

Hello, I've just cut and pasted this bit below which I put on a "best children's book" thread a few days ago. It might be a nice one to read to your DD. Also, the new baby is born in winter and there is lots of snow around so v. topical atm!:

"Sophie And The New Baby - a friend of mine bought it for DD when she was 2.8 years and DS was newborn. It was perfect for DD at that time (especially as in the book the first child is a girl and the second is a boy) and tis all about how mums and dads don't stop loving the first baby when a new baby comes along, even if they seem very busy with the new baby and don't have as much time to play anymore. DD loved that book to bits and still asked for it to be read to her years later when she was well capable of reading it herself."

Original poster

Daffodilly · 04/02/2009 19:02

Thanks for all your replies - it is good to hear I am not alone (even though I know it logically). She is coping well on the whole and I am expecting a lot from her.

Good suggestion on the bath - we actually did that the other day and she loved it. Will have to see if I can fit it in amidst all the feeding at this stage.

I will definitely look for the book too as that sounds like a perfect fit for our situation.

OP posts:

eekamoose · 05/02/2009 12:52

If you email me your address I'd be happy to send you our copy. DD is a strapping 8 year old now and I'd love to think of it going to your dd.

jackie dot skippings @ ntlworld dot com

Original poster

Daffodilly · 07/02/2009 12:42

Thanks for the lovely suggestion - I've emailed you eekamouse.

OP posts:

poisondwarf · 07/02/2009 13:18

I have a 2 month old DD and a 22 month old DS. DS is at the age where he loves action songs, e.g Heads & shoulders, If You're Happy & You Know It etc. Or I play games like getting him to pretend he's a train going through tunnels, waiting at signals, picking up passengers etc. etc. Allows him to feel like he's got my full attention without me having to budge from the sofa, and has the added advantage of allowing him to burn off a bit of energy if he has been stuck in the house for a while.

eekamoose · 07/02/2009 16:44

Will post it Monday! Really pleased .

Flip