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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding to sleep at nearly 8 months - is this a very bad idea???

28 replies

lupinjess · 03/02/2009 10:05

DD2 is almost 8months old and still mostly breastfeeds herself to sleep. She's still up for feeds at least once a night and sometimes twice. If I feed her the whole thing only takes 10mins then we are all back asleep. If I try to just soothe her she is still crying an hour later. Not so bad during the day so would happily keep up with nightfeeding if I thought she would give it up herself eventually but I'm not convinced that she will as she's a stubborn little thing.

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kalo12 · 03/02/2009 10:07

i'm still doing it at 12 months

ruty · 03/02/2009 10:09

if it works do it. I do it with my 9 month old. But be prepared for lots of comments about making a rod for your back or something...

Original poster

lupinjess · 03/02/2009 10:14

I'm not worried about comments, just wondering if we'll have to get mean at some point. I don't think she really wants the milk at night (or in the day for that matter) just likes the comfort obviously. DD1 slept through at 10weeks so didn't have to think about it with her. If she is just using BF to get back to sleep is she ever likely to just "grow out of it"?

OP posts:

ruty · 03/02/2009 10:19

tricky one. with my ds it took quite a while, but compared to friends who had to listen to their babies scream themselves hoarse whilst they sat outside the bedroom, i was happy to do it.

ruty · 03/02/2009 10:20

not criticising that technique, just saying this worked for us. we both got sleep

flimflammum · 03/02/2009 10:22

I think the key one is when she first goes to sleep for the night, do you bf to sleep then? If not, then at least you know she can get herself to sleep.

lucasnorth · 03/02/2009 10:22

DD was bf to sleep until we stopped bf completely at 20 months (because I was pregnant and knackered and she wasn't too bothered by that stage).

She was fine with it - for the first 4 or 5 nights DH walked her and sang to her to get her to sleep, and since then she's been happy for me to put her to bed without bf.

I had several disapproving friends, but so what. Like you, I found it easier to give her a quick feed and back to sleep than to fight about it for hours. 8mo is still very little; if you're happy feeding her then carry on.

Original poster

lupinjess · 03/02/2009 10:24

DH all for letting her cry in theory but at 4am after 10mins he's saying "just go and feed her". I did try to not feed her the second time she woke last night but just got more and more savage with cuddles and back patting. Eventually fed her and she went straight back to sleep (with very little milk swallowed) and stayed asleep til 7. Other posts seem to suggest that the crying techniques only take a few nights but I look at her little face now and not sure if I can do it. That said, I was hoping to stop feeding at 12 months.

OP posts:

systemsaddict · 03/02/2009 10:28

Mine is too, same age, wakes several times in the night for feeds back to sleep, we ended up with her in bed with us again last night (though she's teething too). We had the same thing with ds, now 2 1/2, were in despair and exhausted, did controlled crying with him aged 9 months, learned lots and lots about sleep cycles and sleep habits then, and swore we wouldn't get into this situation again - but we have!

I have nothing against CC, it worked wonders for us with ds (and have done it with dd to an extent a month or so ago to get my evenings back), it's just too disruptive to the whole family to do it in the middle of the night. So we are going with the flow for now; I am not bothered by the broken nights this time round, at the moment.

As for whether it will go on forever? well I doubt she'll still be doing it at 14 ... I'm sure they'll grow out of it eventually, just depends whether that 'eventually' is before or after it's been going on too long for you. My bottom line is, if it works for you, stick with it. If it stops working, if you start getting really tired or resentful, I'd say that's when to think about changing things.

Original poster

lupinjess · 03/02/2009 10:44

Flimflam - she does feed herself to sleep at bedtime, she opens her eyes for about 2 seconds when I put her in her cot but don't think that counts.

I'm thinking of trying to crack the daytime sleeps and then think about nightime later. Back to work in June so she won't be getting any BF during the day for some of the week then anyway.

Probably should have tried night CC before DD1 had her grommets last monthas she probably would have slept through it then .

I switch between being unconcerned about it and next day really fed up.

Man, I can waffle.

OP posts:

cmotdibbler · 03/02/2009 12:08

I fed ds back to sleep, and to sleep. At a year old he stopped feeding to sleep of his own accord, and I just did a bit of NCSS to get him settling on his own in the cot, and he dropped night feeds of his own accord and started sleeping through totally at 18m.

After that he became a rock solid sleeper - anywhere, any circs and very, very, very rarely wakes in the night and needs us

luvaduck · 03/02/2009 12:26

cmotdibbler - it is good to hear that
i have a 17 month old who still feeds 2 x a night and take a lot of milk

did yours take a lot of milk in the night before he night weaned or was he just comfort sucking??

RobynLou · 03/02/2009 12:33

i just fed my 17month old to sleep for her nap...
she'll go to sleep in a buggy/sling/being 'danced' by daddy, but never ever on her own
but she sleeps quite well (wakes once about 5am and comes in with us till waking at 7ish)
i have started to wonder if i'll be feeding her to sleep forever though...

cmotdibbler · 03/02/2009 12:48

luva - he was having full feeds, and would even have a full bottle of cm/ebm if I wasn't there.

I have no doubt that he was genuinely hungry, as even now he wakes up ravenous in the morning. I tried to remember that I know adults who need a late night snack to get them through the night, and some who have biscuits by the bed as they sometimes wake up in the night feeling hungry.

luvaduck · 03/02/2009 13:36

so how did you do it??
i remember reading something by you in another thread i wondering how you did it

we've tried reducing his bf by a min each night - but last night he wanted more and more and screamed for an hour while being cuddled in bed until i fed him again, so back to square one - 20 + min feeds

Pollyanna · 03/02/2009 13:39

I still do it with my 10mo old too. I would rather not, but am not prepared to let him cry atm. I think that my ds must know how to put himself to sleep though, because he only wakes once a night wanting a feed, but I think must wake up more frequently than that.

sorry not much help, but I bf all of my other 4 to sleep too, and they are all fine now!

LaTrucha · 03/02/2009 13:43

I did it until 10 months. After three nights without ti - and being her being cranky TBH but not as badly as I thought, it's been fine. I still do it for naps though. I like the lie-down!

LaTrucha · 03/02/2009 13:52

By which I mean, I wouldn't worry. When you're fed up with it, it's not that hard a habit to break.

cmotdibbler · 03/02/2009 14:04

Luva - he just stopped waking up for them tbh. There was no way I could have reduced his feeds - I remember DH trying to give him a bottle of water and it getting thrown across the room.

I just fed him lying down in bed, and went back to sleep, so it wasn't too bad waking up once a night to go get him and bring him back

luvaduck · 03/02/2009 14:12

well at least there's hope!

rowingboat · 03/02/2009 14:34

I'm not sure why it would be very bad. Is there any particular reason you are worried about feeding to sleep?
I breastfed my son for over three years, so 8 months seems young to me.
She would be very young to stop any milk during the day or night and is younger than the recommended 12 months to introduce cows milk.

Original poster

lupinjess · 03/02/2009 15:03

Don't want to stop feeding yet, and couldn't anyway since she's never taken a bottle. Just wondering what will happen come June when I'm at work 3 days a week. DD1 took bottles/breast from about 3 months so was easy to stop with her.
Also means it's very difficult for anyone else to get her to go to sleep.

OP posts:

systemsaddict · 03/02/2009 16:18

Don't worry just yet lupin, June's ages away, anything could happen between now and then. She'll be around a year then? So won't need to take a bottle anyway.

Know what you mean about not being able to have anyone else get her to sleep - I feel v. tied to dd at nights at the moment for this reason, and haven't been out in the evenings at all since she was born - but it's not for long in the scheme of things.

Btw I've been back at work 3 1/2 days a week since dd was 5 months and she's never taken a bottle! Just a bit of milk from a cup to get her through when I'm not there; and she's thriving. You'll be fine.

rowingboat · 04/02/2009 14:17

Lupin, I work in the evenings and when I returned to work at just after 12 months was worried that my poor old DP would struggle to get the LO to sleep at night.
before I returned to work I had a major panic and started to build up a reserve of milk using a breast pump during the day. By the time he was 12 months DS could drink the the milk from a feeding cup, which he held himself. DP reported that DS actually adapted very quickly even though I was convinced he wouldn't go to sleep without me. He seemed to go off OK.
The one day I am out all day, DS took a bit of ebm and a bit of cow's milk and had a feed pretty much as soon as I got in. He was still having a morning feed and a couple of feeds later in the day to make up for lost time.
Do you think you are worrying about returning to work as much as how your DD will cope?

showmeyourpuku · 04/02/2009 14:49

I am still bf my 19mo to sleep, and it's the best thing ever. It's a guaranteed way of getting him to sleep, anywhere you are!

I refuse to let my DC's cry (done lots and lots of research on this and decided that was something I couldn't put my babies through), but they are all business at night with feeds so its not a prob.

Remember at 8 months their tummies are still really little, so they can't go that long without food, esp because breastmilk is so easily - and therefore quickly - digested.

She's crying because she needs something from you, whether its a feed for nutrition or just comfort. But she won't do it forever - and when she's a raging teenager you'll prob miss the wee dependant thing she was

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