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My 3.8yr old still has accidents- is this normal?

7 replies

bergentulip · 01/02/2009 16:19

Need advice, or just reassurance here. My DS1, going to be 4 in May and is still quite frequently wetting his pants/trousers during the day.
And at night, we put a nappy on him when he's fallen asleep.

He's actually been 'potty trained' since 2yrs, and is/was always really good. However, there have been setbacks at times- birth of DS2, moving house, etc etc...

In September I went back to work fulltime, and DH decided to stay at home and be the SAHD. It works really well, and the children seem happy and content,...

But, the accidents all happen during the week, sometime after preschool and midafternoon-ish. I don't know if perhaps he's started doing it because he gets too little attention at school (he's quite well-behaved/quiet, and perhaps takes up less of the teacher's time than louder kids?) or he is too shy to ask, or maybe he isn't happy that I've gone back to work? Or maybe it's my husband's reaction to his more and more frequent accidents (he tends to show dissatisfaction, rather than ignoring- although he does praise a LOT when DS1 takes himself off to the loo or asks to go) ??? I don't know.

Weird thing is, there are never any accidents at the weekends. Now this could be because we are busier, and doing stuff as a family, therefore giving loads of attention to the boys etc etc... and also, he never has accidents when we are out. Only at home. Or school.

Writing this down, it makes me think there is something to it. Or perhaps I'm over thinking things, and it's all quite normal. The GP thinks it's all very normal we are expecting too much of him to be completely dry already. But almost 4 seems awfully old to still be having accidents in the day....

Any advice, experiences, reassurances greatly appreciated!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bubblagirl · 01/02/2009 16:26

nearly 4 is not too old to have accidents at all its well known for children to have accidents at school nearly 4 is young

my ds will be 4 in April still has nappies at night and the odd accident and it doesn't bother me at all

his still young still learning to control his body be patient it will happen but not until there ready don't expect too much yes some people have children who have been dry since 2 day and night some people have 6 yr old's still in nappies at night

its all to do with a hormone that kicks in and it will do but when the body is ready

maybe just get dp to remind him on regular basis to go and wee as my ds gets so engrossed in something that doesn't make it in time its normal dont panic

bubblagirl · 01/02/2009 16:27

again at school he may be engrossed in what his doing and not making it in time

PinkTulips · 01/02/2009 16:32

no advice really, dd was 4 last weekend and up til friday went for the first time for almost a week without wetting.

same as your ds it's nearly always at home, she never does it at playschool and not outside with me for months now

we did reward systems but as soon as she stops getting as many rewards she starts again, we did telling her she couldn't go to playschool and actually kept her off a few times but again it doesn't last long.

she's just lazy i think, she's told me before she likes wetting herself yet she's very proud of herself if she keeps her knickers dry and it clearly isn't a medical issue as she can do it when it suits her.

like i said, i've got no advice whatsoever, i don't know why she's not been doing i the last week or so and i have no garuantee she won't start again, just wanted you to know your ds isn't the only one!

luckylady74 · 01/02/2009 16:33

My just turned 4 twins have accidents, my dd day dreams (fixates on tv ) and ds2 holds on to the last minute and then can't make it up the stairs in time.
Do you remind him at home and they don't at school, does dad remind him?
My dd had a phase of every day and I got cross which had no impact, but it was just a phase and it went. He could be making an adjustment and it will pass.
The night nappy woudn't concern me in the slightest.

PinkTulips · 01/02/2009 16:36

meant to say... don't worry about the night nappy. they can't control night wetting til a paticular hormone is activated and that can happen anywhere between 2 and 7 years old..... there's nothing you or he can do about it.

terramum · 01/02/2009 16:36

DS is 4.5 and still has the odd accident during the day when he's engrossed in something. Normal imo.

bergentulip · 01/02/2009 16:48

Thanks. I feel much better.

Appreciate the reassurance from everyone. Will write more later, off out in the FREEZING cold to watch my lovely DS on his bike....... oh, joy.....

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