Bright 4 year old not settled at school

[buffynik]

My 4 year old started school in September.To cut a long story short...he is very bright,in the top set,but stuggling to settle...very tearful,very wobbly,hard to get him in etc.School want to bring in Special Needs (which includes behaviour) He is only four (the youngest bar one boy)this seems very premature..I am worried he will get labelled!!! Has anyone any experience of this? Particularly if it is positive as I am very worried!! Thanks

He's still very young, school can be a very big step for a small child. Did he go to nursery before?

Please don't be frightened of a label - the school are offering help here.

Are they talking about an Individual Behaviour Plan? Lots of children need help settling into school. I'd be more worried if they were doing nothing TBH.

Mmmm... DS2 is kind of similar. I think it's a mistake to assume that SN/SEN kids get viewed badly by teachers. Not ime, anyway. If he needs help, better to get sooner than later; these "labels" don't have to last for life.

my ds1, now 11 was terrible when he started school tears every morning it took along time for him to settle in and it used to upset me so much. he just wanted to be at home, still does now if hes got half a chance! he would just start to settle then it would be half term and wed be back to square one, emotionally draining to say the least, well anyway as i say hes now 11 and in his last year of primary and he is a confident, and popular pupil try not to worry and be positive, i would except any help. they may come up with some ideas that will make it easier for him. hope it all sorts out for you soon cause its a hard thing to cope with everyday, when you just want them to be happy!

Gosh, I could have written this myself 11 years ago. My bright son (July birthday) was actually harming himself by Feb of reception year so that he wouldn't have to go. I took him out of school on the day he threw himself into a table as we arrived at school, and put him in a private nursery just down the road.

I wish I had delayed his school start far more in hindsight, and started him when he was ready rather than when the school system told me to start him. He hasn't been truly happy at school until the last couple of years. If I'd understood then what I understand now about the absolute necessity of emotional development, and that it preferably be in line with intellectual development, or as near as possible, I would have kept him at home, possibly for another year or two.

Sorry not to be able to be more positive though- I know only too well how worried you must be.