I have no authority whatsoever with my toddler - is there hope I can regain it? Or should I give him up to Roary?

[spicemonster]

This week my formerly lovely DS (22m) has started hitting me, sometimes with an open hand, sometimes with a fist

I'm picking him up and plonking him down elsewhere (ie nowhere near me) and saying in a firm voice 'No! We do not hit.' and variations thereof. My problem is that he just laughs at me. I never shout and I don't really want to start but is that what I need to do? Or will he just start taking me seriously one day? I feel utterly ineffectual

I think you have to be consistent in what you do and don't give up. I'm hoping this is perfectly normal as my ds (18m) is starting to do it too, I tell im no we don't hit and turn him away from me, so pretty much the same as you are doing. He will learn.....

I think you are doing exactly the right thing.

Yeah they do this - DD did it - we just used to plonk her in her room with a sharp 'we don't hit' and leave her for a few minutes then go back in and repeat 'we don't hit'.

She's 2.3 now and she doesn't do it anymore.

Thank you - that's made me feel loads better. The laughing in my face thing was getting to me. Should I take him out of the room? I just put him on the sofa but maybe I should make it more excluding than that?

The consistency thing is wearing isn't it? I made the terrible error of showing him roary on youtube and now he thinks he can get endless reruns all day long. It's very hard not to give in when he whinges on and on and on ...

I'm new to this toddler stuff. Can you tell?

It is hard isn't it? The way I look at the laughing thing is I remind myself that ds thinks we are playing and doesn't as yet completely understand that he may be hurting me etc. You can try taking him out of the rom, but I just turn ds away and ignore him for a few minutes - kind of makes me feel like I'm training a dog tbh.
As for the constant whinging, I either ignore it, tell him in as nice a way as poss to stop being silly, or make a whinge noise back at him. He has got so much better with this, but does try his luck.

Just wanted to add my sympathies. DS is the same.

If I could add, I find it really irritating when people in RL (and sometimes on here ) say - you shouldn't let him hit or we don't allow hitting or you must stop him from doing that.

FFS, I'm not whispering in his ear "go on, hit me DS!!!!!!"

Oh I get the 'screaming till I turn blue in the face two inches away from your nose' thing complete with snot trails - that's quality tantrumming.

Yes do take him out the room. You want him to be: (a) bored; (b) quiet and (c) wondering what he's missing.

If possible act like you are having a superb time in another room (phone a friend!)

It's a constant battle isn't it - we have sorted the hitting and the toothbrushing/hairbrushing thing and now we are working on the 'don't want that, want X' eating thing (we're winning this one but god it's hard work - every sodding meal I have to bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself yelling 'eat your sodding dinner you ingrate' repeatedly ).

Just a few more years...And then it's just peachy till they hit their teens apparently

"eat your sodding dinner ingrate"

Classic.

It goes on and on doesnt it. We are in the "no" phase at the moment. Any question, same answer. Need it to pass before thinking about potty training.

my DD is 22mo and although we've had no hitting (yet), trying to curb any of her less appropriate behaviours is like herding cats.

I say "no DD, we don't XX because Y"

She ignores

I say "No XXX, DD"

She ignores

I then remove her to another room for a wee bit of time out.

After time out, she returns to her chosen illicit activity .

She has also recent started making whiney noises when she wants something, despite having an ace vocabulary, more than adequate to express her needs. What a lovely age .

Yes, my patience is being tried sorely by the hour. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone. I know consistency is key. But it's so much easier to let them rule the roost.

I will take him out of the room tomorrow if he hits. This is Toddler Boot Camp.

Are you all slightly scared? A bit?

We are experimenting with MINE! at the minute. The 'no!' phase is a tertiary filler: 'noooooo, it's mmmmmiiiiiiinnneee wwwaaaahhhhh!'

We have constant 'heeeelp me mummy, help me, help me'. After the first hundred times I stopped assuming she'd hurt herself and realised she was just frustrated with the toy she put at the bottom of the toybox not being as easy to extract as that on the top.

spicemonster - suggest you try utter silence and turning away - this is the ultimate scare for toddlers. Just say nothing and look the other way if they are being monsterish!

There is no discernible difference between the noise my DS makes when he has a leg trapped under the chair and the one he makes when he's dropped a car down the side of the sofa and can't get it out.

One of these days I'll ignore him when he's hanging from a finger tip from the top of the bookcase because it'll sound like he can't reach the book he wants.

Can you give them away and get them back at 3 when they're a bit more manageable?

spicemonster - I believe that's what nursery is really for

Ohhhh this thread makes me feel so much better - my ds is just 21mo, does the whining, hitting stuff and literally this week has decided that the answer to everything is "No."

As of this moment I am a fully paid-up member of Toddler Boot Camp!

Sometimes I do find the weekend a teensy bit trying wmmc

I will try removing him from the room and seeing how we get on.

wheelsonthebus - NO is a very popular word round here too. I thought my DS had quite a reasonable vocabulary but it seems to have contracted over the last few weeks!

DD speaks completely clearly when she wants to (said to the GP this week 'I'm a bad little bugger') yet today will on say 'luvaffles' (I love waffles) and 'no!'

My lovely DD (same age- hi spice ) spent the whole evening yesterday hitting me on the head with a hairbrush then yanking my hair really hard- and laughing.

She got up this morning, smiled, said mummy then bit my nose really hard. It's what they do

I can cope with her right at this moment because she is snoring away on the settee Bliss

My DD is in the hitting stage so this thread is making me feel much better!

I resorted yesterday to jumping up and running off in the opposite direction with her beloved pink scanky chewed soft toy rabbit shouting 'Mummy's got Bubby, Mummy's got Bubby!' she was so totally shocked and had such a desperate need to save Bubby from the screaming mad banshee woman that she stopped try to hit me in order to comfort what was obviously a traumatized soft toy.

I am so grown up

Be consistant, try time out for physical unnaceptable behaviours. Never let him see he has got to you. Ensure he understands you dont like the bahaviour.