I'd apreciate your advice please. I have an appointment on Wednesday with ds's teacher so we 'can see where we can go from here' after I asked her to stop using a sticker chart for him. What should I say?

[scrooged]

ds(9) is a larger then life character. It took him a while to settle into his new school so they put him on a sticker chart so the teachers could write about how he had been in class, listening, relating to others, that sort of thing. This was before October half term! He's settling in well now, he's not shouting out, has made friends yet say's the odd joke, talks to help someone out (tell them the date) but it all gets noted, along with 'ds forgot homework'. I can see how this is annoying but I don't think it's serious enough to warrant a chart, esecially when there are a couple of violent bullies in the school.
I don't get the chart until the following week, meaning ds has long forgot what's on it as the time gap is 4-7 days. He feels singed out for still having it so I have suggested that if they are still having problems, that we could tackle one area at a time rather then have a report, then give ds a sticker at the end of the day if he has not done the unwanted behaviour. I wrote this in a note as they prefer contact this way. ds thinks the teachers don't think much of him because he feels so singled out, he's getting paraniod and feels like he's being told off all the time (when he isn't, he's mistaking a word/warning with a teling off).
He's not a naughty kid, not violent, he's helful, kind and has many friends. He's impulsive though and forgets to put his hand up (which we are tackling), quick witted and always happy. I think they want to make him into a quiet child who sits and does all his work without a peep. As lovely as this is, I don't think it will ever be ds so is not realistic. His old teacher never considered him to be a problem.

Help!

Has he been on this chart since October?

I personally wouldn't put a child on report for more than two weeks. They stop working after a week or two, and then, I feel, have a negative effect.

It would be easier if they just gave him a couple of achievable targets for a week, eg put hand up before saying anything.

Some children cannot learn effectively by sitting still and working in silence. He may be les of a visual learner and more of an auditory or kinaesthetic learner, and this should be recognised by his teacher, who should make allowances in her teaching style.

yes. I've asked her twice if she could stop using it as the problems she wanted to use it for no longer exist. I told her about the effect it was having on the note I sent in and asked her if we could tackle one area at a time. He is impulsive and does shout out sometimes but there are worse in the class. I've suggested she gives him a sticker at the end of each day so I can reward ds for not doing this but she has yet to give him one and ds said she's still using the chart. He's told me about the behaviour of the other children in the class, throwing rubbers etc and he's not like this (I hope, she's never said anything like this). She doesn't seem to want to listen.

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