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Really struggling with huge screaming strops - is this normal for 3?

4 replies

snowleopard · 29/01/2009 12:23

I know 3-yos are hard work and can be stroppy but DS (3.7) just seems to have gone off the scale! He is lovely and chatty and in fact very caring 90% of the time - but we have just got back from the park where he had an absolute screamer because we were with friends and I pushed another child on the swing (while also pushing him). I refused to stop doing it so it escalated into a complete, hysterical, thrashing-about fit and I had to drag/carry him home. It's not the first time either and one thing that's worrying me is that this happens when we see other children - he refuses to play with them and hates it if I give them attention. Yet he's OK at nursery (if a bit quiet) and loves playing on his own and with me. No lack of imaginative play or eye contact or chattiness - he just seems to hate having friends! (I posted about his anti-socialness a while back - it's got worse!)

Has anyone had a child do this and then grow out of it/grow up relatively happy and sociable? Any tips about what to do? I am firm, I don't back down in the face of a strop, I carry through with consequences, I keep my cool (mostly!) and I try to be supportive and loving too - nothing makes any difference.

This sounds awful now but I feel like such a pariah as well. Everyone else's 2/3/4yos are playing happily together and I'm dragging screaming DS off home - with increasing frequency. I feel like they must be thinking he's disturbed or abused.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
snowleopard · 29/01/2009 12:31

bump

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RumourOfAHurricane · 29/01/2009 13:48

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dandycandyjellybean · 29/01/2009 13:49

No real experience as such, although my 4 yr old ds does get antsy if I give other kids my attention, specially babies 'put that baby down, now, Mummy!!!' He is also happy to play on his own, or with me. But will play with others too, but bumping for you.

snowleopard · 29/01/2009 16:24

Thanks. It definitely was plain old jealousy! - it just seems to be such an extreme state of hysteria he gets into, and although I know from MNers that 3yos can drive you mad, I hardly ever see this behaviour in his friends so he seems like such an odd one out. Yes you're right it is good that he's normally a sweetie. I think I'm upset that when we try to do stuff with friends it so regularly goes tits up and they rarely see the lovely boy that I know. After this morning's meltdown we've had lunch at home and been to do a big supermarket shop and he was great throughout! It's as if he just can't cope with other children and being expected to get on with them.

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