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Behaviour/development

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KatieBenLucy · 29/01/2009 10:11

New to Mumsnet, but hoping for some advice? I'm worried about my DS change of behaviour.
DS is 4.5 and in second term of reception.
He started off well and the first parents evening was v encouraging. Towards the end of last term he was getting into trouble outside the classroom eg pushing children over, insulting other children. I spent some time with his teacher and a reward system seemed to work for while.

This week he has been disciplined in school for pushing again, and generally ignoring direct requests. Had another chat to his teacher who said that the incidents are escalating again. She also mentioned that DS is having trouble approaching the other children to play. And if games/situations don't go his way, he is either lashing out or getting very upset. We have noticed this at home too, and also he has stopped sharing nicely when we have other children round. He does not want others to play with his things.

He has always been very sociable. He had a gang of friends at nursery and was very happy. One of those friends is in his class now. We went through a couple of minor aggressive phases at around 2-3 years but came through the other side and thought they were over.

I have a 6 month old DD who my DS idolises. I don't think she is the reason for his change. I am currently on mat leave so DS has had a lot of time.

I think he is missing being part of a group of friends. There are only 10 boys in his class and they play in very small groups eg I hear "Freddie is always with James". But he doesn't know how to get himself involved with a group? I am guessing really as I can't get him to open up. He is not good at expressing his feelings - perhaps the root of the problem?

Anyone have any ideas? Or even tips to help an almost 5 year old express themsleves?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dingdong05 · 29/01/2009 10:29

Sorry, no advice, but have a ds the same aage, and will be watching this thread with interest
best of luck with it though!

claw3 · 29/01/2009 11:45

Hi Katie, having a 6 month old sister is all still fairly new to him. He may feel that since her arrival he is now having to share, everything and everyone a bit more than he did before, including you.

Sometimes excepting children to share more than they are used to, can have the opposite affect. Although children should be encouraged to share, i think they still need to have some 'special' things, they dont have to share with anyone and also some 'special' time (even if its only half an hour)

Explain to him that at home he can have a few 'special' things, but in school the things belong to the school, which means all children have to take turns. When others come round to play, let him put his 'special' things out of sight.

Helping him to come to terms with losing etc, you could give examples of what you would have done in that situation.

Just some suggestions, hope this may be of some help to you

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