I'm at my wits end with dd and bedtime.

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

pamelat · 28/01/2009 19:29

I know it might sound silly and obvious but has this coincided with the arrival of ds?

My DD is only 12 months so I don't have experience of a 17 month old but could she be a bit jealous and playing up for your attention?

Geepers · 28/01/2009 19:31

Why isn't she in a cot? She is very young to be in a bed.

Original poster

KnickersOnMaHead · 28/01/2009 19:34

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KnickersOnMaHead · 28/01/2009 19:40

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KarlWrenbury · 28/01/2009 19:42

Yes bed is bad bad bad.

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KnickersOnMaHead · 28/01/2009 19:43

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sheena1 · 28/01/2009 19:51

my dd was in a bed at 16 months and slept better my ds came along we had a nightmare of a job getting her to sleep but after a month or 2 she was fine think it was just the new ness of a new routine x

Smee · 28/01/2009 19:59

She might kick off more if you put her back in her cot though. She sounds genuinely upset rather than simply wilful, so why not try a treat - maybe put an audio book on quietly for her. It might distract her enough to break the pattern. Stay for the first minute or so, then tell her you'll be back in a bit to listen with her. I'd bet she'd fall asleep listening before you have to go back.

4andnotout · 28/01/2009 20:05

Knickers I could have written your post as im having the same trouble with dd3 (16months) dp is actually lying upstairs with her now We (well dp) is trying to gradually distance himself, ie from lying beside her to sitting on the end of the bed, to sitting by the stair gate etc. Will see how that goes, sorry i can't help but i can definitely tell you that your not alone!

4andnotout · 28/01/2009 20:05

Knickers I could have written your post as im having the same trouble with dd3 (16months) dp is actually lying upstairs with her now We (well dp) is trying to gradually distance himself, ie from lying beside her to sitting on the end of the bed, to sitting by the stair gate etc. Will see how that goes, sorry i can't help but i can definitely tell you that your not alone!

ShowOfHands · 28/01/2009 20:06

Key time for separation anxiety. And if she's dropping a nap then she's bound to be a bit all over the place.

We converted dd's bed at 14months btw.

I'd be tempted to try and calm her down and to lie with her and then try a gradual withdrawal.

You might also find that she is developing big skills which interrupt sleep enormously (might be why she's dropping a nap too). She's the right age for really working on her speech and understanding of the world and probably finds it hard to switch off.

It's your choice but if leaving her is not working and she's upset then why not try another way. It'll pass, it really will.

The other thing is she might be a bit under the weather.

ShowOfHands · 28/01/2009 20:06

Key time for separation anxiety. And if she's dropping a nap then she's bound to be a bit all over the place.

We converted dd's bed at 14months btw.

I'd be tempted to try and calm her down and to lie with her and then try a gradual withdrawal.

You might also find that she is developing big skills which interrupt sleep enormously (might be why she's dropping a nap too). She's the right age for really working on her speech and understanding of the world and probably finds it hard to switch off.

It's your choice but if leaving her is not working and she's upset then why not try another way. It'll pass, it really will.

The other thing is she might be a bit under the weather.

ShowOfHands · 28/01/2009 20:06

Key time for separation anxiety. And if she's dropping a nap then she's bound to be a bit all over the place.

We converted dd's bed at 14months btw.

I'd be tempted to try and calm her down and to lie with her and then try a gradual withdrawal.

You might also find that she is developing big skills which interrupt sleep enormously (might be why she's dropping a nap too). She's the right age for really working on her speech and understanding of the world and probably finds it hard to switch off.

It's your choice but if leaving her is not working and she's upset then why not try another way. It'll pass, it really will.

The other thing is she might be a bit under the weather.

ShowOfHands · 28/01/2009 20:06

farking laptop

techpep · 28/01/2009 20:10

I agree with showofhands, both of my dcs changed their routines and became grumpy just before they crawled, walked, started talking etc. Give her a couple of weeks and see what happens, it definitely will pass.

Horton · 28/01/2009 22:31

I had this at about 20 months with my DD. I don't have any useful advice to give as in our case we just crumbled and co-slept (and still are), but we didn't have another smaller baby to worry about. But I just wanted you to know that you're not alone! I couldn't leave DD to cry - she was just too upset and headbutting the cot etc so we turned the cot into a bed but that didn't help, either. At 2.5, she is just starting to think about sleeping in her own bed. However, she is clingy child of the century and has been since birth. I suspect a less clingy child would have got their head round this a bit faster.

swanriver · 29/01/2009 13:29

Definitely had same at this age. Separation anxiety rather than anything you are doing wrong. My sister said what worked was pottering around on landing within earshot after goodnight.

Mimia · 29/01/2009 13:37

It is a phase, although that doesn't help you now. Pottering around or just lying with her is a good idea, I always find it works when my DD has these phases. It is NOTHING you are doing wrong.

DD went into a bed at 11 months with a duvet {shock} bed was not bad bad bad for us, she slept horrendously in a cot and we made the transfer on HV advice.

RumourOfAHurricane · 29/01/2009 13:37

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mrsgboring · 29/01/2009 13:42

Is it impossible to lie with her? We always lie with DS and he's not the world's most brilliant sleeper but has got steadily better through the night. We have never had the getting out of bed nightmare, as we don't leave him till he's actually asleep. I know it's against all received wisdom, but when I read posts like yours I think it's probably not a bad way to go - just as easy or hard as anything else and it works for us.

Once she's through the nap changeover, and the sep. anxiety wanes, you can gradually wean down the contact if you want to - sitting on a chair next to the bed but refusing to get in, then sit by door, then sit other side of the door, then potter on landing.

somersetlass · 29/01/2009 13:47

If my calculations are correct you have 14months between your 2 children which is exactly the same as me and I went through very similar. It could be arrival of new baby to a degree as although it hasnt happened straight away, we too found ds1 started to be a nightmare at night when dd was about a month old. He'd always been a great sleeper from an early age too. With him it wasnt so much the settling at night but he would wake screaming in the night and just wouldnt go back to sleep. Like you, we tried every strategy and then one night it just started to get better and I dont think it was anything we did or didnt do- the phase just came to an end. It did however coincide with last Christmas and we went away ti family. I think a break and then returning to familiar surroundings may have helped-oh, it's all such a guessing game isn't it?! Sorry not to be able to help more.

somersetlass · 29/01/2009 13:48

If my calculations are correct you have 14months between your 2 children which is exactly the same as me and I went through very similar. It could be arrival of new baby to a degree as although it hasnt happened straight away, we too found ds1 started to be a nightmare at night when dd was about a month old. He'd always been a great sleeper from an early age too. With him it wasnt so much the settling at night but he would wake screaming in the night and just wouldnt go back to sleep. Like you, we tried every strategy and then one night it just started to get better and I dont think it was anything we did or didnt do- the phase just came to an end. It did however coincide with last Christmas and we went away ti family. I think a break and then returning to familiar surroundings may have helped-oh, it's all such a guessing game isn't it?! Sorry not to be able to help more.