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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

11 year old dd having difficulty sleeping and getting stressed about it

21 replies

cruisemum1 · 27/01/2009 13:24

My 11 yo dd has been finding it hard to get to sleep for about a year now. She is consequently shattered during the day. She goes to bed around 8:30 - 9:00 and reads/winds down in her room till 9:15pm ish. She listens to story CD's or a relaxation CD but she still lies there awake . She is very bright and participates in lots of physical activity during the day so she should be worn out - I would! I have had sleep probs for a while (almost resolved ) so maybe she is feeding off me . Anyone else had his situation? Please help!

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Original poster

cruisemum1 · 27/01/2009 13:32

anyone???

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HSMM · 27/01/2009 13:37

Cruisemum1 - I can't really help you, but just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.

My 9 year old DD has real trouble sleeping. She goes to bed between 8 and 9. She listens to stories on her IPOD, or from me, or peaceful lullabies and still doesn't sleep. She is often still awake after I have gone to sleep (so DH tells me) and we hear her prowling around during the night, so she is obviously waking up. She is really tired and her school work is suffering. She does loads of activities as well and is definitely physically and mentally tired, but just can't get to sleep.

morningpaper · 27/01/2009 13:40

some people just DO have trouble sleeping

does she have a bath before bed? A hot water bottle? heat can help!

It's also worth telling her that she doesn't HAVE to sleep, and that just lying there and letting her body rest is just as good as sleeping, so it's fine to just lie still.

This is a lie a positive way to think about it

You could teach her some basic relaxation techniques too?

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 27/01/2009 13:51

HSMM - your poor dd. Sounds worse than my dd. Once mine is asleep she does tend to sleep soundly but she takes an age to drop off.
morningpaper - I remember you from other threads . She does have a bath, and has a cosy cub (a microwave teddy thingy) - we have all the props here! I will try the 'positive' tactic and see if that helps. Poor little love is shattered......until bedtime

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lingle · 27/01/2009 16:05

"It's also worth telling her that she doesn't HAVE to sleep, and that just lying there and letting her body rest is just as good as sleeping, so it's fine to just lie still."

My mum told me this as a child and it helped enormously. I can still remember the converstaion and it really helped me relax about being awake.

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 27/01/2009 16:42

Thank you lingle - good to have sound evidence.

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HSMM · 27/01/2009 16:55

Thanks everyone. I will try telling my DD she doesns't have to go to sleep and see if it works.

christywhisty · 27/01/2009 20:10

My 11yr old DD is the same and still awake at 12 most nights. Difference is it doesn't seem to bother her, just me trying to get her up in the morning.
She is also very bright and I think it just takes her a long time to wind down.

dyzzidi · 27/01/2009 20:17

A frien of mine told her dd she had bought her some sleeping tablets (vitamin tablets) and that one a night would help her sleep. Obviously these were not sleep aids and just a placebo but after three or four nights they wokred a treat and she now only has them when she feels she can't sleep once every couple fof months. I think it just kind of took the pressure off and was more a mind over matter thing. Not sure if this will work for you but it certainly did for her

Scorta · 27/01/2009 20:22

Have you tried doing guided imagery with her?

Help her through relaxation and then help her find a place that is her 'happy' place - let her visualise this, smell, feel, colours etc. let her really visualise this - and it is where she can go when she is worried and cannot sleep.

Tell her that any unwanted thoughts should not be pushed out, they will come and go and try to imagine them like bubbles floating away.

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 27/01/2009 21:15

christy - . I couldn't even stay awake that long! Defo takes dd a long while to wind down. I could make her bedtime 6:30pm that way she would be well wound down by 9pm
Scorta - yes, I have done the imagery thing with her. Beaches, waves lapping against shore etc. It did work for a while but not now........
dyzzidi - love that idea! good for her too
Thanks

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weblette · 27/01/2009 21:18

A friend's son has a very similar problem and the only thing that worked was the Paul McKenna 'I Can Make You Sleep' cd. He said the voice was sooooo boring he fell asleep Might be worth getting it out of the library for a try.

mummytopebs · 27/01/2009 22:35

I used to have trouble sleeping as a child and a lot of it was worrying about not having enough sleep so def try the you dont have to sleep to relax technique. My da used to tell me to tense my toes then relax them, then my feet, then my calfs so on and so forth till we did top of body face and whole body, this used to really relax me to get to sleep-still do it now if feel anxious he used to tell me when you tensed then relaxed all your worrys floated away

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/01/2009 08:06

mummytopebs - I'll try that too. I bought some horlicks yesterday and that seemed to have a sedative effect and she did drop off quite quickly she said.

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bellavita · 28/01/2009 09:09

This is happening to DS1 (11.7) more and more.

I have put it down to maybe his mind working overtime on thinking about school stuff - started Yr7 last September.

He can still be awake at 11.pm which makes him a very grumpy boy the next morning!

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/01/2009 13:00

bellavita - horrid isn't it? And frustrating too. The posts are quite useful - hope you have a read through .

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bellavita · 28/01/2009 13:07

it is horrid especially as I am not a morning person myself - so to deal with someone else that is not in a good mood......

I told him to count sheep but he looked at me like I was mad

clumsymum · 28/01/2009 13:09

What if you try without the story CDs or iPods. I know most people find it helps, but I think with some people it just feeds the brain with more stimulation to keep it awake.

I would encourage a warm milky drink, a cosy bed (warm hot water bottle is very soothing), quietness, dim light, not necessarily total dark, and then lay down and count your breaths. Concentrate REALLY hard on counting every breath in. Set a limit of say 50 or 100, and promise to count every breath you take up to that limit. You find yourself taking deeper, more even breaths, and generally fall asleep before you have got to your limit.

bellavita · 28/01/2009 14:00

I love horlicks and warm milk but DS would boak and gag at the thought of these never mind attempting to drink them.

ohmeohmy · 28/01/2009 14:20

sleep hypnotherapy cds work for dd, usually just guided visualisation and breathing. Maybe something like this

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 29/01/2009 22:32

have introduced horlicks and it works!!! Placebo effect methinks. It says on the jar that it makes you sleep and dd is a believer!

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