Withholding Poo. 27 month old. Help please

[DjLondon]

Hi all.

We're at our wits end here. Our 27 month old DS is withholding his poo and finding it very traumatic. He's on Lactulose (up to adult dose) as we can't get him to take movicol. The worst thing is that with our number 2 safely arrived he's beginning to take his frustration out on him. We're following advice like not giving him any special attention when he's withholding but rewarding when he poos but nothing really seems to improve. Any help would be much appreciated.

All the best,

D+J

Do you know, I disagree with the 'ignore when they do something wrong/bad/whatever and reward when they do something good'. IME children behave badly to test their parents love - they want to know you love them unconditionally. My children's bad patches have quickly dissipated once we stop getting cross with them or even ignoring them when they do whatever it is (hitting/wetting themselves) and we start being as lovely and caring and kind to them when they do the bad stuff as when they do the good stuff. They're basically saying, 'do you really love me all the time? Even when I do this?' and every time you ignore them, they get more insecure, and test you even further. I've had to learn this the hard way, btw, I'm not preaching - just letting you know what we've found in our family.

Hmmm that's a good way to look at it. Will take on board what you say. Certainly been very tought for both of us ignoring a child that seems to be in distress...

Yes, I wonder if he needs reassurance that pooing is ok.

I'm sure you already take him into the loo when you go and talk him through what you are doing and show him the result

Is the poo definitely soft when he does go?

Have you tried mixing the movical with fruit juice? I used to mix it with some smoothie (without bits) so that my DD would drink it. I also gave her LOTS of cuddles to reassure her that pooing was ok and then got amazingly excited and rewarded her when she went . Good luck......I know how distressing it is as my DD used to scream. It takes a little while but they do get over it. She was on lactulose and movicol for 6 months and we occassionally used senna too. Also, has he been checked for anal fissures?

I am so sorry not to be able to offer any real advice as I have not been through this, but I read somewhere about a book called 'Everyone Poops'- a big hit worldwide apparently and might help broach the subject in another way? Just a suggestion- hope you manage to resolve it. x

Oh you poor thing we went through this at 2.4 ( when toilet training - she saw a poo in the potty and freaked) and it was pure hell. When she did go it hurt as it was hard. We tried persuasion , bribery , not making a fuss and making a fuss , giving her tons of water and fibre and she then just got over it almost overnight. She went backwards at 2.8 when dd2 was due and I was on finals. Again we just played it down and she got over it ( not by saying when she did a pee is a poo coming as well and going on and on out of toilet times) - however we did do huge priase when she did one and she flushed the chain, had a smartie then after a week of good poos she had a new book ( to read whilst doing a poo !!!) Good Luck -