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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I am official at the end of my tether, just dont know what else to do. Give me a clue some one.

13 replies

deanychip · 26/01/2009 15:48

Its ds AGAIN.

Kicking other kids at play time/lunch time.
Drawing on the table in pencil.
Like a "wild thing"
He is 5 in year 1.
problems with behaviour since starting school.

They have punished him.
I just dont know what to do or say, got his PJs on and sent him to his room, will call him for tea.

What is going on in his head? Why is he like this? Why cant he be normal and just be like the other practically perfect kids in his class?

It getting me down, wearing me out and i am sick to death of it.

OP posts:

theresonlyme · 26/01/2009 15:51

He is normal.

Will he talk to you? Can he say why he is feeling wild?

Seeline · 26/01/2009 15:52

Poor you - can only offer sympathy, no real advice. Although it does sound like fairly normal behaviour for a 5yo boy to me - I don't know who the lukcky ones were who got the 'practically perfect' kids! Is he only like this at school, or at home too? Apart from punishment, has the teacher suggested any strategies for helping him adapt to school life?

Original poster

deanychip · 26/01/2009 15:55

H egets angry when i ask him about it.
he can be an angry boy
(i have NO idea why, we are a calm and happy household, we both love the bones of the child and do lots with him)
Im not sure that he has a concience yet. I take the tact that says "how would it make you feel if some one kicked you realy hard?"

I just dont know whats going on in his head, he wont speak to me when i ask him.

OP posts:

theresonlyme · 26/01/2009 15:56

He probably doesn't really know himself.

Just keep on saying to him that XYZ is not allowed and if he feels he might do it, can he think of something else instead?

bubblagirl · 26/01/2009 15:56

where is he placed in the class? does he need to be nearer the front of the class is he finding it hard to follow instruction

maybe if he is further away he cant follow what's being said and doodles instead maybe they need to check placement and put him at front of class away from distraction

as for kicking is it a game there all playing and his getting caught or is he purposely kicking other children are the school making sure he is settled do they do a buddy system? could this be something you ask for to help him settle his young and if he's struggling they need to be finding out why not punishing him

you need to have a calm talk ask him does he have problems hearing teacher following what she says are boys playing with him at lunch or are they being mean to him he could be feeling frustrated and lost its a big change for such a little guy but needs to be spoken about as he could be struggling in class and getting frustrated about this

Original poster

deanychip · 26/01/2009 16:09

just went up to talk to him..he is fast asleep, looks like an angel
maybe he is tired from the weekend, he was as naughty at school last MOnday as well. He didnt go to sleep till gone 9pm last night. (up and down the stairs)

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 26/01/2009 16:12

Are you free to go into school and help? If so you could work out what triggers him off.

NotQuiteCockney · 26/01/2009 16:13

Is the bad behaviour at school, at home, or both?

I wouldn't punish him at home for bad behaviour at school, it's too much - let school deal with school.

theresonlyme · 26/01/2009 16:13

Sounds like he misbehaves when he is very tired.

Maybe start trying to bring his bedtime forward and making it clear that once in bed, he stays there.

My 5 year old is in bed before seven.

MrsWeasley · 26/01/2009 16:18

my dd has been known to do odd things in year 1.A couple were due to dares, "i dare you to cut your skirt" etc then child who dares runs to teacher to tell.

DD once drew all over the back of another little girls jumper I was on the verge of withdrawing DD becuase I was so concerned about her "wild behaviour" but she calmed down a lot in year 2(thankfully).

Your DS is normal just perhaps struggling a little with the big change in work loads/expectations from reception to year 1.

Original poster

deanychip · 26/01/2009 16:23

He is normally in bed for 7, sleeping by 7.30, but just recently, he has been coming down the satirs with all sorts of "excuses".

His behaviour ahs always been a challenge at home. But manageable. Just frustrating for us at times.

I DO have a fundamental disagreement with "double punishment" cockney and i see your point 100% but its getting beyond the point where i can just let him come in as if nothing has happened and watch telly, play with toys and say no more about it. Juat talking is solving nothing.

I am torn to bits over it, but feel helpless and like i am losing him iyswim.

OP posts:

bellavita · 26/01/2009 16:32

Deany - do you think he understands how the teacher explains things in lessons? It could be the frustration of not understanding.

Does he need an eye/hearing test?

IMO, 5 is young and maybe he is just a little immature and lacking on social skills (I have had this with DS2).

DS2 tends to work much much better in smaller groups.

We eventually went down the route of having a behaviour support teacher go in and monitor the situation (we did this through the Head Teacher).

taipo · 26/01/2009 16:34

I really feel for you deany. He sounds very much like my ds and I too feel really helpless as to how to make things better for him. It's a real vicious circle because I think basically he doesn't feel comfortable at school so he plays up, but the more he misbehaves the worse he feels and so on.

Flip