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struggling to cope with dd at the moment

12 replies

thesockmonsterofdoom · 25/01/2009 09:04

she is whiney, having tantrums a lot, miserable, stroppy, bossy and sometimes down right nasty. then as quick as anything she is adorable and I feel guilty for being so fed up with her.
a typical day would go
she gets up at 6 and tries to get in my bed, I ask her to go back to bed until time to get up, she screams and wakes everybody n the house up.
then when it is time to get up dd1 and 2 come and get in our bed for 5 mins, dd1 just whinges and says get up I'm bored (it is literally 5 mins if that).
we get up, make chocolate milk for dd1 and milk in a sippy cup fior dd2 who likes to sit on someones knee to drink it, while she drinks her milk dd1 starts shouting that noone has got her breakfast yet and that daddy or mummy is sat with dd2 and they should be making her breakfast.
she then has a tantrum about getting dressed for school, refuses to go for a wee, wont put her shoes on etc, once we are put of the house she changes and is lovely and chatty all the way to school.
when i pick her up she instantly whines that she wants chocolate, doesnt ewant to walk, wants someone to come and play etc.
This is pretty much it, whining and tantrums unless we are doing exactley what she wants, dd2 will actually give her a toy if she whinges because she adores her so much, that is not the right way round.
she speaks to everybody lke they are the shit on her shoe most of the time.
She is currently having a tantrum because she is painting a mug and I cant open the other paint pot as my nails are too long and daddy is on the toilet.
UI end uop feeling upset and tired and quite resentful; by the end of every day and when dh gets in I am grumpy with him and it is all going a bit wrong.
I spend mopst of my time trying to make things nice for her and she seems to hate me.
dd2 is so well behaved and placid, I dont know how to get through to dd1 and I am starting to dislike her which is making me feel like absolute crap.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PuzzleRocks · 25/01/2009 14:16

Bumping for you.

Earlybird · 25/01/2009 14:18

How old is dd1? Is this behaviour recent, or 'normal'?

spudmasher · 25/01/2009 14:22

Could be time for a sticker chart or some sort of positive behaviour management system.Have you tried all of that before?
( Hello, Earlybird! Have not bumped into you here for a while!)

Earlybird · 25/01/2009 14:26

Hi Spudmasher! Good to 'see' you again. Things have gotten so big 'round here, that it is easy to 'miss' people. Hope all is well with you and yours. We're fine here.

spudmasher · 25/01/2009 14:31

It is huge isn't it!? Still good for advice and ideas if you can wade through the other stuff!

samsonthecat · 25/01/2009 14:35

Sockmonster are you me living with my DD1? I hope someone can give some good advice. My DD1 is 4.

thesockmonsterofdoom · 25/01/2009 19:06

dd1 is 5, we are always doing stickers and positive stuff, doesnt seem to make much difference. she is currently screaming the place down because she had to have her teeth brushed.
I really could do with some help as dh and I are both struggling and starting to feel really down that dd1 is so unhappy.

OP posts:
peggotty · 25/01/2009 19:09

How do you react to her when she is whining/tantruming?

eandh · 25/01/2009 19:15

omg when did my dd1 (who is 4.5) move into your house and your dd2 sounds like my dd2 (she is just 2 and blimmin owrships the ground dd1 walks on)

We have tried so many things with dd1 but the only thing that works is a 1,2,3 warning system and after 3 in her bedroom till she can calm down (this involves me holding the door as she just keeps coming down otherwise) I need to sort the whiney, stroppy defiant moods out before she strats school in sept (although apparently at preschool shes a darling )

eandh · 25/01/2009 19:16

oh and also dd1 being referred to hospital for tests as we have owrked out that half the time she cant hear us so I get annoyed repeating myself and she gets annoyed at me because I get the hump saying the same thing over and over (if she is doing something 1 to 1 its fine but any other noise like tv/dd2 etc and she cant hear us properly)

thesockmonsterofdoom · 25/01/2009 19:21

I am clam up to a point and then I shout.

OP posts:
womblingfree · 30/01/2009 21:05

How's it going Sockmonster?

I'm having much the same with my DD at the moment - she's 4.4. She seems to go in phases of good week/bad week since Christmas. Is there anything going on in your lives she might be picking up on?

I was made redundant last summer and now the dosh and jobseekers allowance have run out things are getting pretty tight and a bit stressful, so I think that might go some way to explaining my DD's behaviour. She's also quite bright and missed out on school last Sept by 2 weeks, so is probably under-stimulated despite my best efforts.

FWIW I know of loads of parents (probably about a dozen) of DD's aged 4/5 who are all having similar problems right now, which doesn't help but at least we know it's normal!

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