4 year old PITA: developmental, ill health, sibling rivalry, bad parenting or what?

[WilfSell]

Or all of the above.

I don't think he's 100 per cent well. I posted on another thread about him being tired in the afternoons lately, and pale and bog eyed and we've had these glands checked out. So the Drs think he has permanent viruses but they've taken a blood test to be sure.

But is it that: he certainly seems physically just kind of finished some days (eg today) even though it has been much less busy than a nursery day. This winter he has been particularly trying and under the weather.

He doesn't eat well but we put a wide range of healthy food and some treats in front of him all the time. He does eat fruit and veg a bit and has a daily multivitamin.

He is the middle child and the other two are pretty demanding also - one high maintenance 9 (nearly 10) yo and one toddler. They fight A LOT.

Sometimes the middle one just has these hysterical moments of crazy screaming, hitting, pushing, seems 'unable' to listen at all.

The thing is, he's almost a completely different personality to 6 months ago. He has - always - been the mellow one in the family, smiling, affectionate, non-violent, talkative.

So - any ideas what has happened? Is this just developmental? It has been a long time since DS1 was this age, but I don't remember such a dramatic change of mood (he was always a hissy fitting handful )

I could have posted this about my dd wilf. I am hoping it's just a 4 yo thing. She has (I think) adjusted very well to her brother being born in June but she has noticeably changed in the last few months and it has worried me. From speaking to other mums about it I do think is something they go through at this age, but it's certainly a shock when it happens!

My DD has just turned 4 and she sounds the same, very tired and lethargic even if we've had nothing on. I think it's probably just the growing in mind and body that is taking it out of them. She's not having hysterical moments but does shout loudly when things are frustrating for her which feels like most of the time! So while I can't say for sure whether it's developmental since I'm just experiencing it for the first time myself, just to let you know it sounds familiar!

See, my 9yo turned into a screaming beastie (though lovely in many other ways) at 18m and has never stopped. So when DS2 was all chilled and co-operative and friendly most of his life, I was shocked. I did think it was a delayed reaction to his little brother for a while - they are certainly jealous of each other - but this just seems so physical.

Perhaps 4yos have a growth spurt or summat?

WS - my nearly 4yo is tired - particularly at the weekends - he looks shattered. We've taken to trying to get him to have a good rest in the afternoon at eht weekend as it helps him stock up for the week ahead - I am putting it down to growing a lot at the moment.

Hope things improve

Try not to pathologize maybe?
Some kids go through PITA phases and that's the way it is.

My 4 year old ds was an absolute swine for 3 months but is now delightful.