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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to break DD's bad habit - picking her lip?

15 replies

jamhead · 23/01/2009 16:48

My DD aged 3 has recently developed a habit of picking her lip. It is now starting to get scabby. It hurts her and looks awful but she won't stop.

It's not an attention thing because I've been watching her from out of the room and she's just doing it all the time.

I've tried telling off and bribes to no avail. She now has some 'lipstick' (lipsalve) which she is allowed to put on to make it better and she's been told that it's a very big girl thing and you can't pick your lip with lipstick on. Not working.

Any experience of this or ideas please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hopefully · 23/01/2009 16:56

I used to suck my bottom lip, and my mother used to shout 'lip' at me every time, and got anyone who looked after me to do likewise. I was quite happy to stop, I just didn't realise I was doing it - presumably DD is the same? I think it probably took a good couple of months of 'lip!' before I completely stopped, and I even now occasionally find myself doing it

belgo · 23/01/2009 16:59

I picked my lip as an adult, it used to get really sore. I finally made myself stop and now pick my eyebrows when I'm stressed out .

Don't really know how you can stop it though.

MadamDeathstare · 23/01/2009 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 23/01/2009 19:32

Oh dear... I still do this sometimes so obv. haven't found a good way to stop... It doesn't actually bother me much but bugs other people (esp. my mum)! But at 3 there is still plenty of time to break the habit hopefully. Some things you could try are 1) a really GLOOPY lipbalm (more like a gloss) cos that is harder to pick through and gets all over your fingers when you do. 2) distraction - not sure if it would work but might be worth a go. Perhaps try both mental distraction (i.e. getting her involved in or calling attention to something interesting as soon as she looks like she is going to pick or has started) and also physical i.e. getting her hands occupied with something so not free for picking? Also I definitely did/do this more when feeling rubbish for any reason - poorly, stressed, depressed, anything like that would make it worse. So keeping an eye on anything bothering her might help, and also paying special attention to lipgloss, distraction etc. at times when she is feeling run down. Hope that helps!

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 23/01/2009 19:33

PS nagging didn't work at all for me

smartiejake · 23/01/2009 19:55

What about something like "stop and grow" on her finger nails? If her fingers are going near her mouth chances are she will be able to taste something nasty.

Might help to break the habit.

MadamDeathstare · 24/01/2009 02:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OchAyeballsintheSky · 24/01/2009 07:25

Lurking because I still do this now. DH says I do it when I'm nervous or worried and he points it out when he sees me doing it but I still do. My lips are in bits and really sore and I'd love to stop. I bite them rather than pick them. I pick through lipstick as well.

Original poster

jamhead · 24/01/2009 18:55

Thanks everyone for advice. I'm fairly sure she doesn't know when she's doing it so I'm just going to have to keep making her aware without telling off - and keep her hands busy doing other things. (But she's a busy one already so I'm exhausted!!) Good ideas anyway.

OP posts:

southeastastra · 24/01/2009 18:58

i used to do this as a child, it was lovely, i really enjoyed it. i pick my thumbs now instead.

sorry not to be much help but i did eventuall stop the lip thing

haagendazs · 25/01/2009 21:22

Ooh ds does this too, will be lurking to hear any other ideas.
Just wanted to say you're not alone

Acinonyx · 25/01/2009 22:34

I still do this...

purpleflower · 25/01/2009 22:46

I still do this now. I pick mine when they are dry and then pick the scabs off. When they are all healed, if they are kept moisterized I don't pick them. It can take a long while for them to heal though as I always pick the scabs away. Like it has been said before a gloopy lip gloss/balm makes it hard to get hold of the little bits.

Astrophe · 25/01/2009 22:52

I've posted threads like this about DD's thumbsucking and a range of other odd habits - at the moment she licks her finger then wipes it along her upper lip...constantly. Makes her lip sore and drives me bonkers.

My least favourite responses are the "I still do X as an adult" ones, which terrify me and make me loose all hope that she will ever stop!!!

I know DD does things when she is tense/stressed, and they oftern tail off withing a few weeks as she feels better with new situations. I guess at their age they don't really know they are doing it, so maybe the reminding will wrok?

good uck, anyway.

Acinonyx · 25/01/2009 22:54

Vanity does keep it under more control though

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