My mum and dad have made a suggestion WRT DD for when lo is born, I have some questions to ask people in the know about it.

[DustyTv]

DD will be 20mo when lo is born. I am starting to worry about how DD will cope with a sibling and how I will cope with 2 lol.
I am also very worried about DD feeling pushed out etc.

I was speaking to my mum about it last week and she called me earlier this morning to make a suggestion that her and dad had come up with.

For the first few weeks after lo is born mum has said if I want her and dad will pick up DD for the day 3-4 times a week. This will give me time to settle the baby and get BF off to a decent start. It will also give DD some good one on one attention with her GP's.

I think it is a lovely idea and would wholeheartedly go for it, but I am worried about how DD will perceive this.
Will DD see it as 'out with the old and in with the new' so to speak. Will she think that I have abandoned her in favor of her younger sibling?

She loves my mum and dad and sees them 4-5 times a week as it is anyway but not always on her own for a full day. She will be fine wit them but I am just worried about her feeling put out, away from me IYSWIM.

Any advice welcome.

Actually RaggedRobin's post has reminded me that lo is due when DH (works in education) is off for the summer holidays, and he gets one week paternity leave to take also. I may not need mum and dad to have DD.

I may keep them on standby though for when DH does go bak to work, lol.

If she has a set routine I would stick to it with the proviso that if the older child's behaviour starts to change, she stays with you and your parents help you at our house. Your DD will be 2 months younger than my second child was when my third was born, and tbh she was as interested as if the baby was a doll really. She liked holding him and touching him, asked for him, but wasn't showing any negative behaviour.

Thats positive NAB. I think it would be best to keep it with mum and dad on standby. Maybe they can come and take lo out for a walk while DD and I have dome one on one time.

DH gets 6-7 weeks off over the summer holidays and he has one week paternity which he will take at the end of the summer hols so I should have him home for at least 4-5 weeks when the baby is here. Assuming the baby comes relatively on time lol.

I had the same thoughts when dd2 was on her way (dd1 was 2.4 when she was born) dd1 did not like being away from he when I was in hospital and came out in eczema all over he bum and legs from snxiety. However when I got home she was fine, dh had 10 days off and she went everywhere with him and when he went back to work we just got our own little routine going, dd2 would sleep in her moses basket in the lounge and dd1 would just potter around her. My Mum did have dd1 1 day a week for first 6 weeks (she always has done as she looks after them one day when I work) but after that she'd alternate weeks and she'd look after dd2 for a day so I could have a day with dd1 (I formula fed so slightly easier)

I think 1 maybe 2 days a week would be fine but maybe 3-4 too much

excuse typing dd2 climbing over me!

Your idea of mornings and afternoons sounds great and present idea worked a treat for dd1 (dd2 bought her a digger sticker book and a moses basket for her baby )

What about doing it before and sticking to maybe 2 afternoons a week?

And what if your new baby also spends an hour or two with your folks a week so that DD gets some mummy time.

Great (grand) parents by the way!!

Agreed with the other points... my mum and dad had DD1 a lot after DD2 was born - and as DD1 was jealous and worried a lot before the baby was born, when DD2 came long, my folks made a big fuss of wanting to see their 'big girl' and do 'big girl' things and made a big deal out of the fact that babies were boring and pretended they weren't that interested in DD2 in front of DD1. DD1 was always very excited about her 'special big girl days' and always saw time with her GPs as 'her' special treat rather than being pushed out iyswim!
HTH