My son reminded me of me this morning (sad)

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He really, really defied his father and answered him back several times at breakfast time. Didn't react or show he cared to the punishment Dh then dished out. (lost toys)

I sat with DS1 (nearly 8) and asked him why he was so angry. He said he dind't know. I said he needed to sit and try and think why otherwise I couldn't help him. He would just get more angry, DH would get more cross and DS1 would lose more toys.

He then did as we had asked (writing practice) and calmed down a bit but no answer for why he was angry.

I threw a strop like that when I was 14 and had been beaten up by the daughter of my foster parents and really and truly wanted to be taken away from there.

I am going to school for him now, taking a snack, don't know whether to talk to him about this morning or let it go???

See if he mentions anything first. Chances are, he's forgotten all about it and if you bring it up, you might start summat unnecessarily.

It could well be that he really doesn't know why he was so angry.

IIWY I would give him opportunities to talk to you if poss but not specifically mention this morning.

This happens on a regular basis in our house - usually if DS is tired or being asked to do something he doesn't want to do

But you could have a quiet chat with him to check it out if it is totally out of character.

First thing he said when he came out of school was that he didn't want to do what I said he had to do when he got in, so it was obviously on his mind today.

He has argued and back chatted before but nothing to this degree.

Is he arguing and back chatting now or do you mean this morning?

This morning. He is being fine now as he doesn't want to do hand writing practice and wants to go on the computer.

Make a deal with him? 10 mins handwriting practice in exchange for 20 minutes on PC. That way he'll feel like he's got a good deal and you get the practice done. Not too long, so he dies of boredom!

He actually put his finger to his mouth to think about it!!

He has done some lovely writing

Could he have picked up on tension between his parents? Worried?

No, we have been fine in front of him.

Hopefully you're right but children are very perceptive.

NAB....please don;t immediatly jump to conclusions here and think the worst (ie, blame yurself for his anger).........my DS1 is also 8, and he is a very angry boy at times behaving just the way your describe.

I think part of it is age you know........for my DS1 he has three older sisters hitting (or going thru) puberty, and I wonder if it is the beginning of it for him too.....and with boys hormone surges can make them angry as they just don;t understand what it going on in their bodies. they feel odd, no reason why, so feel angry for the odd (IYGWIM).

Just had a little chat with DS1. It is fine now. It was to do with his sister, not anything about DH and I.

psycho - where in earth would I find out about hormones, etc as I have never had an 7/8 year old boy before and don't want to miss things I need to be aware of.

no idea......tis new for me too this boy lark!!!

girls, easy peasy (well, not really, but I understand them having been one), but boys.......got me.....I am thinking of a trip to waterstones in hope for something to help.

if all else fails, the coffee and cake in waterstones will at least distract me

Sometimes boyd behave like this when they don't have the language to express their feelings, is quite common. Difficult to think of words when you are cross