3.2 yr old who's always been good sleeper still up screaming for my bed (sorry long)

[feedthegoat]

Getting to the end of my tether with ds. Has been a fantastic sleeper since a tiny baby (sorry!) but last few months has got gradually worse. We moved house a year ago and i think i have created a lot of problems myself since. Walls are incredibly thin and i got very stressed when first moved in as neighbours (older middle aged couple) banged on wall a few times when ds was just playing reasonably normal games. I admit he's not silent but he is a toddler and don't think i can be expected to keep him silent in our own home. Anyway, i always left him to settle himself if possible in the night (never got to stage of needing controlled crying as he was really good). However, since moving I have been quite anxious about neighbours so have gone straight to him whenever wakes. It has now got to point where he can have me up 6 or 7 times in night. Last week at end of tether i took him into my bed at 4 am after 3 hrs just to shut him up. DH and I were up rest of night and he slept soundly. Since then it is taking 1 to 2 hours to settle him at night with him begging for my bed, cuddles, a wee anything he can think off. Was always happy to be left in past. It has been 2 hours now and he is still screaming (dh with him now). His behaviour in general is quite trying - he is very controlling and flies off the handle. He is very bright and articulate but knows exactly how to push my buttons and likes me to baby him though preschool say he is very independant even taking himself to toilet and that he is very well behaved. Has gone through a variety of phases lately - hating preschool, lots of talk about baddies, demanding my constant attention but always seems to focus on one thing at a time. I know i am very stressed at moment. My grandad is very ill (probably dying) and I am not feeling particularly well myself which i know won't help but his behaviour changing probably predates this (i think - getting to point where don't know if coming or going). I just don't know what to do about it for the best. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sounds like my daughter a few months ago. Similar age too!!

We had similar sleep issues with her very suddenly - she too had always slept well. Then all of a sudden she was up and making all of the excuses you have just listed. Dp and I were totally thrown by her behaviour and what to do about it. The problem is with 3 small children our daytimes were v busy and the only times we discussed the problem together was when it was happening and we were stressed. Consequently we were both trying different techniques of settling her down and I think this just confused matters. Eventually we had a really long chat and decided that me having brought her into bed with us had set a precedent for her to get back into our bed again. It has taken a good 4 months to get her back to sleeping for more that 2 hours in her own bed, but she does now sleep almost through the night. She wakes at about 5.30 ish and will go back to bed if we tell her its still bedtime.

It was really just a case of both of us giving her a united front and gently putting her back to bed every time. I know thats not easy when they are screaming at you and everyone has their own beliefs and methods about night waking, but I couldn't cope with it and it did pay off for us.

The final thing that has encouraged her to stay in bed is a little toy puppy made by furreal friends, its quite small and it yaps and whines much like a real puppy, moves its head opens its eyes etc. She had already got loads better by the time I bought it for her, but now shes not lonely in bed things are much better. sorry for such a long post, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

OMG - do you have my son? Exactly the same age, re: fab sleeper now wanting our bed (and talk of baddies / robbers, except he loves them !).

I can't help as we just let him come in with us (sure it's just a phase), but just wanted to pass on some sympathy.

I would probably have done the same, but being v fat & pregnant at the time couldn't handle an extra body in the bed I just can't sleep that squashed.

Thinking of you!! Both!!!

KKQ x

Thanks everyone. Really throws me when he suddenly changes tack like this so reassuring to know not on our own. Easy to see how your own state of mind affects things too as my post doesn't look half as long today as it did last night! Repeated again tonight but only about an hour. Tbh the bad mummy part of me was a little relieved as he is at my mums tonight and was sure he wouldn't play her up as much but he did. I refuse to set the precedent of him starting the night in our bed. Great if it works for others but really not for me - can't sleep with anyone touching me, strange I know! Anyway, thanks for your replies.