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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS Showing signs of violent and agressive behaviour or am I just worrying??

5 replies

izzy40 · 16/01/2009 13:49

My DS is 4 and just started full time school. When I ask him to get dressed, clean teeth, go to bed etc. he won't do it and when I say well you won't do this or that etc. if you don't do as I ask he will throw stuff at me and kick and hit me. I put him in his room and he will kick the door and scream! Now this happens about 2-3 times per week and it's beginning to really worry me. Any advice anyone or is this normal 4 y o behaviour trying to push boundaries?

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Smee · 16/01/2009 13:53

Totally normal I think, especially at four and even more so when starting school. My DS's a nightmare sometimes and he's at the same stage. Actually you're lucky not to have hit such moments before..

Smee · 16/01/2009 13:56

Though having said that, mine doesn't try and hit and kick me. Even though he's completely out of control he doesn't try that. Have you tried talking to him about it? I do that with mine - only once he's calmed down. Maybe you can agree things that you both think aren't acceptable, then howabout a sticker chart for a week with a small treat at the end if he gets enough stickers.

lingle · 16/01/2009 18:14

normal but also needs attention if you see what I mean.

forbes · 16/01/2009 19:42

I think it's pretty normal to be honest, i've certainly had it with my DS, also 4. I just am quite strict about the 'we do NOT hit each other in this house' rule...
I know it's hard though isn't it when your lovely little baby lashes out at you, but I just try and remember that the world must be v frustrating and confusing when you're 4, plus they're supposed to get a testosterone surge at this age ( or is that an urban myth?!)...

After my DS has had an episode like that, when he's calmed down I try and talk it through with him and explain why his behaviour wasn't acceptable and over time we've certainly had less instances of it...

Try not to worry too much, but hold firm and i'm sure it'll improve once he starts to grasp that it's not ok and doesn't work!

thisisyesterday · 16/01/2009 19:45

ooh i think there is a big testosterone spurt around 4ish.

my almost 4 yr old is being quite aggressive atm as well

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