DD 14mths is hitting - what to do?

[JohannaF]

I have been informed by the nursery that DD is hitting the other children. Her teacher has said that although she is not fully aware of what she is doing it does mean that she will probably hit out quite easliy and purposly when she gets older. I am really not sure what to do - any advice??

Bumping for you.

is this not normal behaviour then? DO most children not go through this phase? She is my first....

is this not normal behaviour then? DO most children not go through this phase? She is my first....

Ds went through a similar stage at the same age. He is now 21mths and rarely hits, only when he gets overexcited when playing rough and tumble with his dad or his uncles.

Yesterday a baby came up to him and started poking him and shaking his hand - at one time he'd have got annoyed and pushed it away, but now he just laughs and is quite calm.

I think it's normal and a lot of it is down to experimentation, I dealt with it by saying "no" firmly and removing ds from the situation.

Lots of children go through a 'hitting' (replace with biting, kicking as necessary) stage. I concur with TTT, I just stayed calm, always said 'No hitting' firmly and moved her away from whichever child she had hit. I would apologise to the child as well, I didn't expect dd2 to do so as she couldn't talk.

IMO the member of staff was a bit OTT in trying to label your child for what is completely in the range of normal behaviour.

I agree with concern about staff members comment.

My DD used to bite - it was related to frustration. As they get to a stage where they are starting to talk and understand things a bit better, they will sometimes lash out if they are finding it difficult to be understood. Distraction methods can be used or removing child from situation. Also clearly let her know that hitting is not nice.

I agree with concern about staff members comment.

My DD used to bite - it was related to frustration. As they get to a stage where they are starting to talk and understand things a bit better, they will sometimes lash out if they are finding it difficult to be understood. Distraction methods can be used or removing child from situation. Also clearly let her know that hitting is not nice.

DS does this (17mo) but it's mainly me and Dh he hits. I tell him "no hitting" in a stern voice and if he repeats it I put him down quickly and turn my back on him. It seems to be working as he has gone from hitting me every time I pick him up to now only maybe once or twice a week.
Good luck!

Alfie Kohn's unconditional parenting is a fab book. Get it out of the library if you can. When DS is violent I say no DS we don't hit do we cos it hurts and that makes people sad. Then I say Let's be gentle instead and show him to to stroke. I can usually recognise the change in his face now and know when he is about to hurt so I will grab has hands and move him away. If she is only doing it at nursery though there's not much you can do about it.

I do the same as nappyaddict -put on a sad face, tell her not hit me (she sometimes does it with me) and then give her a kiss and cuddle and tells her that is what she should do.
Thanks for the message on staff members! they made me feel quite uncomfortable - as if it were my fault.
I do think DH may be a little bit to blame as he plays quite rough with her (which dd finds hilarous) should i tell him to play more gently and "girly" with her?

must say i do prefer her having a stonger personality rather than being a passive, but i don´t want her to agressive either

What does this rough play consist of? It's ok to play rough as long as it doesn't consist of punching, hitting, pushing or kicking.

oh god no!!! he would be out of the hse in seconds! throwing in the air, bouncing on the bed etc...

I would think that's fine.