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Original poster

Has anyone ever smacked their child?

32 replies

IsAnybodyOutThere · 15/01/2009 21:18

This evening I slapped my hysterical 5yr DS on the face. I have never felt so ashamed in my life. It is the thing I said I would never do. I didn't do it out of anger but more because I just didn't know what else to do to stop him having complete hysterics. Has anybody else ever done this? Please tell me that I a not alone.

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 15/01/2009 21:23

smacked my dds bum before. not nice it was turning point for me to realise how bad my pnd was/is i just broke down and could nopt cope

sorry i cant answer you any better but didnt want you going unanswered

AnyFucker · 15/01/2009 21:29

yes, but not on the face

try not to feel too bad, although it is a rotten thing to do

just make sure its the last time this ever happens

try and develop some other strategies for dealing with hysterics

forgive yourself, apologise to him and move on

MumtoCharlieandLola · 15/01/2009 21:29

sorry, I know you don't want to hear this and I am not going to make you feel better but I have never smacked either of my children on the face.

They have driven me to distraction in the past to the point where i have really wanted to wallop them but I managed to control myself

I have smacked them on the bum on several occasions but under no circumstances to I think you should smack a child on the face. You are the adult, and you should be able to control yourself.

Like I said, sorry if you don't want to hear this but you did ask ......

steph101 · 15/01/2009 21:30

Sure lots of people every now and then have a "bad" moment. I have never slapped dd but then she is only 2.7! Sometimes thou when shes really testing me I have to walk away!! Its a one off personally I woudnt stress too much, you cant take it back and whats done is done. Dont beat yourself up, sounds like you were pushed to the limit!

TheYearOfTheCat · 15/01/2009 22:18
Sad
mumto3boys · 15/01/2009 22:19

Personally, no I haven't. But I did witness a friend do it once. We were at the school gates (yes it was in public!) and the child was being just hideous. And then he said something, I can't for the life of me think what it was, but I know I gasped so it must have been really bad.

And then she slapped him round the face. Now usually I would have been horrified, but I was there, I was witnessing it and I kind of 'understood'. I was still horrified, I suppose, but also really felt for her.

You could hear a pin drop of course as everyone else looked on. She was distraught at what she had done, she apologised. But so did the child.

I think he learnt that his mum has her limits, and he had just reached them.

That was 6 years ago, and I know from that point on she worked really hard on disciplining effectively so they never got to that point again.

So I think what I am saying is of course it is not right to slap your child in the face. BUT, it is not the end of the world, if handled correctly. I think you need to talk to your DS about both of yours behaviour, so you can both move on.

badassmarthafocker · 15/01/2009 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveMyLapTop · 15/01/2009 22:20

I have smacked mine on the bum once or twice, but cannot imagine ever smacking them on the face.Sorry but I dont think you haave any excuse for that. Hysterics or not.

malfoy · 15/01/2009 22:22

yes. on the face too.

solidgoldsoddingjanuaryagain · 15/01/2009 22:22

I have smacked DS on the hand or bum once or twice. Bear in mind that if you were a horrible abusive cowbag of a mum you wouldn't be fretting over it: it's not great but it's not the end of the world.

chrimbospirit · 15/01/2009 22:22

Not on the face but was a regular receiver of smacks from my mum incl face - I also got shook till my head nearly fell off but I love her dearly and have totally forgiven her now and completely understand how difficult being a parent and impossible being a perfect parent is.

FairyMum · 15/01/2009 22:23

I have never smacked mine and you know its wrong to smack on the face. I don't think you will do it again though, so move on!

hellymelly · 15/01/2009 22:24

No I haven't but I have certainly wanted too!

LoveMyLapTop · 15/01/2009 22:33

Don't beat yourself up about it tho.
I once smacked DS 1 on hte leg but my hand was wet, the sound was awful, and he had a red mark.
I flet so so terrible for ages after.

stillenacht · 15/01/2009 22:34

yes on the legs and bum

lovelysongbirdie · 15/01/2009 22:39

i haven't and i hope i don't.
but i agree with soildgold
if you were a horrible abusive cowbag of a mum you wouldn't be fretting over it
just gotta make sure youdon't do it again

cat64 · 15/01/2009 22:44

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sushi45 · 15/01/2009 22:49

I know what you mean Anybody out there,I have had this situation with my 4 year old DS who was so distressed I slapped him on the face to break his almost psychotic episode and restrained him to keep him safe.
It did snap him out of it, just like in the films and we held each other and talk through the issue. It wasn't a hard slap I remained calm and chose this option as my DS is extremely challenging and I use all the parenting techniques many times a day but I calmly decided that he was going to come to more harm damaging himself on the walls and floor than to snap out of the situation and safely hold him until it passed.
It's a walk in my shoes decision as far as I see it, so long as you are not beating your child or really hurting them it has to be a personal decision.
However, I was smacked as a child and feel it definitely did me no harm and generally I clearly knew right from wrong.
I do not use corporal punishment routinely and don't think it is necessary if parenting technics are used which work very well with most children.

sushi45 · 15/01/2009 22:52

Meant to mention, you should never smack on the hand as could break delicate little bones and cause long term injury!!!

lazyemma · 16/01/2009 12:43

I haven't smacked my daughter yet and I hope not ever to. I don't think you should torture yourself about it - it's clear that you already deeply regret what you did and it's not something you ever want to repeat.

I do think the distinction some of you are making about smacking on bum/legs = OK, smacking on face = bad and wrong, is a bit spurious though. Hitting a child is hitting a child, regardless of where on their body you aim at.

Niftyblue · 16/01/2009 12:55

I do smack dc its not daily or weekly but once in a blue moon I do

I have slapped ds across the face he just wouldnt give up shouting and screaming wouldnt stay in his room etc etc went on for ages(still no excuse)
I turned round and slapped him I have never felt so bad and disgusted with myself .
I cried buckets and kept saying sorry phoned and told dh and my parents what I had done

Its not right but jeez kids really know what buttons to press

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 16/01/2009 13:02

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Mooseheart · 16/01/2009 13:02

On the bum and hand yes, and at around 2-3 years when I felt that reasoning with them was getting me nowhere. Not particularly hard, but enough for them to realise that enough was enough.

Have always followed it up afterwards with a chat about why I did it and why their behaviour was unacceptable.

Mymum used to smack me on the legs and bum with the back of her hairbrush - would always take us begging and pleading into her bedroom to do it, we were older than five too. I would NEVER do that to my dcs. [anger]

As SGB says though, you are repentant about it which means you are otherwise probably a lovely decent mum who just lost control. Learn from it and move on.

Mooseheart · 16/01/2009 13:02

doh!

katiek123 · 16/01/2009 13:05

isanybodyoutthere - yes i have. just once, 3 years ago. i was immediately appalled at myself (i never normally smack them at all, far less on the face FFS!!) and have never done it again. i did it in the exact same circs as you, too - completely hysterical 5 yr old DD, tantruming for what seemed like hours, had no idea what to do next, seemed almost logical to try 'slapping her out of it'. needless to say it didn't work. i was SO ashamed. you're not alone.