Help 2 1/2 yr old dd becoming little monster...how to deal

[ThePudding]

eek need lots of ideas how to handle

or is everyone in same boat and every kid different etc?!

Have entered 'tantrum times' with dd. all of a sudden she goes out of her way to do the exact opposite to what I want,
mealtimes are fast becoming nightmares, I think it is stemming from a bit of jealousy when I feed ds in his high chair...
I am really clueless as how to handle as previously she has been an angel..

I say come on, dinner!
she says No, and stays in lounge!

what do i do?
then she throws stuff round the kitchen whilst i (try) and ignore her...
then I shut her in the lounge as she refused to sit at table and eat anything...

with tv off...
she managed to turn ON the dvd!
so I dash back in,,,
get her in kitchen and again she refuses to eat anything, so nowIm thinking she is still a bit off with a bug she had a few days ago, so I start eating her dinner... then she does want a spoonful, so has about 3 spoons, then goes to other side of kitchen and
spits it out onto floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So gobsmacked I took her up to her room and left her there, dh arrived home a few mins later and got her , talked to her a bit and then she came and said sorry to me!
then we all had out usual 'yogurt time'

can't 'mega' discipline as shes only 2 and 1/2
dont know how to handle her???

This is normal 2 /2 behaviour. It seems to me from the gist of what you are saying is that she doesn't quite get continuity in how you deal with her. My DS at 2 1/2 gets a warning "if you do that again, I will put you in timeout" (Timeout is the downstairs hallway) for 2 minutes. If he does it again I calmly without shouting or giving extra attention put him in the hallway saying "you are here because you..... and we don't do that in this house" and leave him there for 2 minutes with the door shut., When I go and get him I say "Do you want to say sorry to......, are you sorry that you...?" and bring him back to table or wherever with no more attention or fuss paid to him. It's over then, we start again and try and distract him away from the original issue.
He really gets it now at 2 1/2 that he doesn't want to go in timeout so he generally doesn't need more than one warning to behave a bit better and say sorry.

Consistency is the key, have one punishment or consequence (like timeout) and do it the same way every time without getting cross and without giving loads of rewarding attention.

Good luck - it is normal at this age to push the boundaries, but it helps both you and the child to undersand how to behave if they know what is going to happen if they carry on doing something they have been told not to do.

like that...
hmmmmmmmmmmm consistency.
wonder where I can time out her too? our hallway is very cold. could do the naughty step?

that would work. The absolute key is consistency, by both parents/any caregivers. Whether its a step, hallway, bedroom or rug in the corner of the lounge, just as long as you follow the same pattern every time. Warning, then action, little fuss, no shouting, explanation and then carry on as normal.

I promise that if you try it you'll see the results by day 3. If you start tomorrow, by Saturday there will be noticeable changes.

Good luck

My DD2 was 2 in Sept. She has recently turned into a little horror (although was always quite highly strung). I find consistency in how we deal with her does help. If she is naughty, rude or nasty to her big sis (who is far too kind and dotes on DD2) she is put (screaming usually) into the hall, on her own. Normally she will lie on the hall floor kicking and screaming for about 90 seconds - 2 mins after which time she'll stop crying, get up, come back into the kitchen (or wherever) and say 'sorry mummy' and is back to being nice again. It seems to be the only way to calm her down and once in the hall she knows she's been bad and will stay there until she can say sorry for what she did.
(the probs arise for us when we're out, and have nowhere to put her for 'time out'. Then I'm in trouble - nightmare).
At least it's just a phase. Or so I keep telling myself
Staying calm and reasonable and not shouting at her also help I think.
Distraction (oooh, look at that big black bird on the lawn etc) can sometimes help too. Not always but worth a go!
Good luck.