does this level of routine/patterns of behaviour sound strange in a 2.8 year old boy?

[deaconblue]

ds has always liked routines to the extent that if his bib went on before his booster seat straps were done up he would cry. I've always thought this sort of stuff was quite normal and dh and I are both also quite anal in our ways of doing things. eg I always put my left sock on first and can't imagine ever putting the right one on first (indeed thought it was normal to put clothes on in a set order til I started a thread asking about it a couple of years ago)
routines and patterns in themselves seem normal to me but I wonder if this is why he won't eat at nursery or at anyone else's home? Might be that other people cut his food differently or he's using different cutlery?

bump

No, I would say your behavior is not 'normal' more habitual or obsessive if you get what I mean - no offense meant . I think it's normal for small children to go through a stage of this, but it usually ends. How old is he?

I think it could be 'learned' behavior from you, what do you think? Otherwise, try posting on the Special Needs section where more unusual behavior is experienced (not suggesting this is SN, you may just get a few more ideas).

Why don't you change things gently at home.
If , with you being gentle and supportive he accepts the change then no problems.
If the change to routine is extremely distressing for him then I would speak to someone.

BTW - are you just habitual or would putting clothes on in a different order cause anxiety?

We all have habits that are 'comforting' - that is why so many people use the same car parking spaces etc - but do you think it is morethan that ?

I think we are both habitual. I don't find it distressing to do things differently, it just would never occur to me to change the way I do something iykwim. So eg If I have a glass of water, I always fill it then chuck the first glass then refill and drink, but it doesn't bother me if someone else has poured me a drink without doing that. God I sound like a loon
DS gets arsey about changes rrahter than distressed. He's 2 and 8 months and I have read that toddlers are sticklers for routine anyway.

arsey is normal.

ok good, so arsey about changes is most toddlers, distressed about changes is something to keep an eye on? That reassures me.

arsey is normal in this house.

dd2 can slide into distressed if we don't work out what is going on time lol. but she does have some ishoos.

arsey is fine

DS2 has ASD and a bit of OCD thrown in there. If I tried to change one of his fixed behaviours he would find it unbearable

my son used to be like this as a small child

he has grown out of it now

he had certain routines to follow eg. at bedtime (we had to walk around the house kissing goodnight to all the photographs/pictures, in a certain order) and at mealtimes

as one "obsession" faded, it would be replaced by another

he is 8 now, and he is much more relaxed (but a proper "homebody") and still doesn't like things to be sprung on him out of the blue