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Non-hopping 4 year old - quick call the child development professionals asap? or just get over it and stop fussing?

13 replies

Gipfeli · 13/01/2009 10:12

The background (sorry, it's going to be long - the short version is in the title )

DS is 4 (will be 5 in March). His Kindergarten teacher wants to recommend that the "School Pyschology Service" make an assessment of him because she's concerned about his gross motor skills. The basis of her concern seems to be that he's stiff and cannot hop. Also he's not keen on sitting still.

  • I'm not sure about the stiff bit, can't say that I'd noticed.
  • I agree that he can't hop.
  • I also agree that he's not great at sitting still when he's not engrossed in something. He can keep still (e.g. when I took him to the pantomime and cinema, when watching TV, when listening to a story, when eating) but he's not good at sitting still just because someone says he has to. I wasn't particularly concerned about that, although I can see it must be hugely irritating for the teacher in the group environment, but he is a 4 year boy after all!

However he can:-

  • dress himself - underwear, socks, tights (we're in Switzerland - boys wear tights!), tops, trousers, velcro shoes, gloves
  • eat and drink properly
  • ride a pedal bike, without stabilisers
  • run up and down stairs
  • climb like a monkey
  • balance on ropes
  • kick a football
  • catch a ball
  • jump
  • write his name and numbers (here reading and writing don't happen in the school system for a while yet)
  • do the fiddly playmobil stuff that I hate
  • solve problems really well
  • respond to instructions
  • build all sorts of stuff out of bits of junk
  • do the imaginative play thing

I should of course say that all the above is stuff he can do when he wants to. If he doesn't want to do it, it won't be happening, but as I've said, he's a four year old boy.

And in the interests of balance I feel I should also add that this is the positive stuff - there's an equally long list of stuff he can't do involving patience, grumpiness, incessant talking and asking questions, daydreaming, faffing, nighttime bladder control. He does have some problems with pronounciation of some sounds and is having speech therapy to help with that (mainly seems to be about strengthening his mouth muscles).

So finally, the point of this waffle, am I missing something here? I understand that he's not perfect and that there are some things he can't do BUT given that they don't seem to be hindering him in any way whatsoever, is this really worth doing anything about? Or have I got it all wrong and hopping is a marker for some other more important skill?

(And from a societal point of view this kind of thing makes me quite cross actually. Whilst it's nice that they are concerned about my son and that there is help available when he needs, isn't it incredibly wasteful to be using resources on such a trvial matter? There are plenty of more useful things that they could spend that money on, but that's probably another topic)

OP posts:
sarah293 · 13/01/2009 10:15

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TinySocks · 13/01/2009 11:43

What's wrong with having an assessment? Maybe you should discuss this with the teacher again and point out your views to see if she has some valid points that you haven't thought of.

If the assessment goes well then you have nothing to worry about, if he needs a little help with gross motor skills then he gets the help, end of story. I would grab any help offered with both hands, it doesn't matter if the problem is small or big.

Soph73 · 13/01/2009 11:50

Gipfeli - I had the same sort of thing with DS1 (now 6). When he was 4 his teacher was concerned that he wouldn't climb or jump off things that imo were quite high up for a 4 year old. I politely informed his teacher (who I'm friends with btw) that I didn't care if he never scaled heights or jumped from them as it saved me a lot of worry Saying that, he is now climbing to the top of climbing frames (does have a bit of a problem getting down again) and jumping off small PE apparatus. He never did half the stuff your son is doing but is quite happy doing what he can and sitting back watching his friends scale great heights. However, if you want him to have the assessment go for it. As TinySocks says there's no harm in it and you can choose to take on board any advice they might give or ignore it.

TotalChaos · 13/01/2009 11:53

I think it's worth following up, particularly in conjunction with the fact that he's having speech therapy in connection with his mouth muscles.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/01/2009 11:55

Four year olds are meant to be keen on sitting still? The HV's around here have their work cut out for them then because I have never met a four year old who likes to sit still. My dd1 is five and she struggles with sitting still.

My niece cannot hop or jump. She will be four soon. She just sort of bends her knees and bounces slightly. No one is concerned about her.

sagacious · 13/01/2009 11:58

He sounds totally normal to me (my dd is 5 in April and has only just learned to hop...TBH I don't really see it as an essential life skill.

But: for my own peice of mind I would accept the check up.

stealthsquiggle · 13/01/2009 12:05

If he's having speech therapy then I guess it is worth checking out - but hopping in itself shouldn't be enough to be get worried about given that he can do loads of other stuff involving balance and motor skills, IMHO.

Gipfeli · 13/01/2009 12:47

Thanks all.

Yes I should have said, absolutely he's having the assessment, no question about that. No reason not to at all, but as we have to do all this in German I like to have given it some thought first to make sure I'm properly prepared and I have my questions organised. I wondered if there was some greater concern that I'm not seeing.

OP posts:
mummyeme · 13/01/2009 13:00

Hi,
My dd is 4 1/2, she still can't hop or skip (much to her frustration). Yet she does gymnastics and before christmas got her no. 6 badge, for which she had to be able to do other things and they've never raised any concerns.
Good luck for the assesment

DungunGirl · 13/01/2009 13:06

Nothing to lose just having an assessment done as far as I can see...

My DS is 4 in 2 weeks, can't draw anything that looks like anything, can't write his name at all!, can't write anything really....

Can't pedal a bike/trike...

Can't dress himself yet and the list goes on and on and on...

He was assessed last year and has had it confirmed that he has a developmental delay. He also has a speech delay.

He is getting additional help at foundation/nursery and is in the system for extra help if needs be when he gets to school.

So worth checking if you and a teacher have concerns. That way if he needs help at all, then you will feel happier knowing he is getting the support.

stealthsquiggle · 13/01/2009 13:36

Hopping (or the lack of it) is used as a marker for some issues, I think - a friend's 5yo DS was sent for assessments for dyspraxia (which he does in fact have) and when asked what the triggers were for recommending the assessment, his teacher said "In shorthand - he can't hop or catch a ball" (clearly there was more to it than that, but those were the 'black&white' things they could point to) - but your DS can do loads of other stuff which would seem to discount that.

My guess would be that since he is having speech therapy the teacher is being uber-cautious and not wanting to miss anything else. Whilst I can understand that this is annoying, it is IMHO less annoying than missing things which are no big deal if addressed at 4 but which would be a problem if ignored.

Good luck - rather you than me going through these sorts of processes in German.

jute · 13/01/2009 13:44

Then only concern I would given your list have would be developmental dyspraxia. Here he wouldn't even be assessed for it because he can peddle a bike , but it's the sort of thing that some simple exercises can help with so worth getting checked. Also if he has some speech pronounciation problems & some gross motor problems that would have the potential to suggest that he might (big might) have problems handwriting. May as well get it picked up early if it is a problem.

Gipfeli · 14/01/2009 10:37

Mumsnet is great - thank you all.

I also saw this thread about dyspraxia which led me to find out more about sensory processing disorders and some of the stuff about vestibular dysfunction sounds interesting.

I think the stuff about the hopping was a slight red herring. I think the bigger concern she has really, is about the not keeping still. Reading about that I can understand more about why she sees that in the Kindergarten environment and why we don't see it at home.

So now I am much more informed. I need to get my German dictionary out and write some notes and can meet these guys feeling more prepared.

I doubt I would have made those connections so quickly without MN so thank you all.

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