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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Table Manners - please advise

11 replies

eekareindeer · 12/01/2009 20:32

DD was 8 yesterday. She is the light of my life and an absolute star and I love her to bits. She is doing very well at school, has many friends, is funny, clever, wonderfully patient with her younger brother and naturally very bright. She also has the oldest girl's habit of trying to please and sometimes I worry she tries a little bit too hard to do so

BUT

tbh, she eats like a pig. She has terrible table manners, makes a lot of noise, rushes her food, gulps and and makes loads of smacking noises.

Every single meal time, without exception, for the past 3 or 4 years I have said to her "slow down darling" "no need to rush" " you are making a lot of noise" etc and tbh I just can't believe she can't seem to get her head round this, especially bearing in mind her usually compliant nature.

She is so good and so wonderful I do not want to focus on the one bad thing about her but, at the same time, I am going spare!

What can I do to help her change her behaviour? Any ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

stealthsquiggle · 12/01/2009 20:35

Does she by any chance have lots of colds or other breathing problems? Only I used to eat 'loudly' until my adenoids and asthma were diagnosed and sorted out - not being able to breathe through your nose limits your options

wenceslasmyeducation · 12/01/2009 20:42

I don't think that is table manners though. I think of table manners as not talking with food in your mouth, holding knife and fork in the right hands, not picking your nose etc.
She will become more self-conscious over the next few years naturally, so I wouldn't force the issue. It's easy to make food a problem without meaning to.

Bubbaluv · 12/01/2009 20:48

Ask her to put her knife and fork down (neatly folded) between each mouthful. Table manners seem to be something that IMHO are only ingrained through nagging.

whomovedmychocolate · 12/01/2009 20:53

Does the rest of the family set a good example on this front?

I noticed I ate too fast and slowed my eating down and DD copied me.

This has removed her burping from our nightly eating experience.

Original poster

eekareindeer · 13/01/2009 12:44

That's the funny thing.

We do set a good example. I am a slow eater and always finish after everybody else. I am very big on table manners so this is why this issue with my dd distresses me.

And, actually, its the not doing as I ask (I always ask nicely) thats the strangest thing of all because she is usually so good at that kind of thing. Its like she instantly forgets what I've just said to her.

I think its a speaking so she will listen issue, but I don't know what to say! iyswim.

OP posts:

Ivykaty44 · 13/01/2009 12:51

Is she really hungry when she eats and therefore rushes? Is this why she doesn' hear you saying slow down? If this is the case could she have something to curb her hunger?

I would go along with the poster that says get her to put her knie and fork down as she puts the food into her mouth and she mustn't pick the knife and fork uip again until she has finished her mouth full, this way she will have to slow down without trying.

wishingchair · 13/01/2009 13:08

Being the mother of 2 of the most unbelievably slowest eaters in the world, I have no real life advice. Either end of the spectrum has its problems. My two get bored of eating because they've been sat at the table so long and it has gone cold ... consequently we have battles about eating a bit more etc etc.

Is it really noticeable to an outsider ... what I mean is, is it something that if you were out in a restaurant, people on neighbouring tables would turn and stare at her for? Or is it something that grates on you and you focus on it because you sit with her every day? I guess I'm asking if it's really that bad ... I'd have thought she'd probably grow out of it when she got older. Am sure she isn't going to be an elegant grown up lady who still smacks her lips, gulps and belches her way through dinner.

HSMM · 13/01/2009 13:12

Does she have school dinners? My DD age 9 tells me they have to eat their dinner quickly at school (so they can get out to play). It often reflects on her eating habits at home and we have to slow her down, etc.

Astarte · 13/01/2009 13:18

I cannot stand noisy eating or bad table manners. I can only just tolerate crisp eating in our house

From about 2.5 yo I start to instruct the kids on table manners. Not talking with our mouths full, using cutlery not fingers.

My ds1 had a tendency to gulp water and eat with his mouth open, everytime he did we reminded him he would get a sore tummy because he was taking in air as well. It took a while but he did get it in the end and slow down.
We started to ask him questions as he neared the end of his mouthful too so he would slow down the 'shovelling' as he knows not to talk with his mouth full.

With Dd1 we taught her princess manners, those a princess would have at the table and would role play during meals with fake posh voices

stealthsquiggle · 13/01/2009 13:22

Is it won't though, or can't? Can she do it when she tries?

pamelat · 13/01/2009 13:26

It sounds like she must be really really hungry?

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