Raging 2 year old - Help!

[footballsgalore]

I know 2 year olds are supposed to strop, but this is getting ridiculous! DS2 (2.11) flies into the most incoherent meltdown when things don't go his way.
DS1 had tantrums, like they all do, but this is really OTT, like nothing i've ever seen from any of the toddlers I know. Screaming until he is hoarse, kicking, hitting, shouting go away, etc.
He is thrown into a pure and absolute rage. He is uncontrollable and inconsolable. I am doing my best to ignore and keep calm, but it is getting harder.
Do anyone elses kids do anger in such a major way? How do you cope?

My sympathies footballs my DS is 2.10 and working up to tantrum-ville. I swing between ignoring and trying to carry on and having to walk away to another room when it gets too much - any advice would be very welcome here too!!!

Thanks ontheup. Its the anger I find hard to cope with. General stroppiness and 'headstrong 2 year oldness' I can just about deal with. I'm sure the neighbours must think I'm killing him, he lets out such blood-curdling screams! How long do your DS's tantrums last?

Depends - the worst one was 25 mins on our local high street. That was fun esp when my GP walked past with her 2 DC's - oh how I laughed. All down to me not carrying him becasue I had the buggy and dodgy arm. He wouldnt walk and wouldnt go in the buggy. I stood firm but we were both in tears by the end - awful. I called DH in the end, spoke for a couple of mins to calm down and that distraction was enough to get him to climg into said buggy.

Why is it that someone you know always walks past when they go into meltdown? And their kids are always behaving beautifully!
I hate ending up in tears tho, especially when DS1 (6) is around. Feel like I should always show I can cope for him.
Will try to continue ignoring. The leaving the room thing sounds like a good idea. Will try that, thanks.

My ds had tantrums like this - not too many thank goodness but when he had them they were humdingers!

I think personally with a child who has such strong reactions as this it pays to cultivate:

a non-confrontational approach ie avoid saying no whenever you can (even if I was saying no I would say yes first, for example "Yes, DS lets play finger paints, as soon as we've eaten this, do you want some tomato sauce, where shall I put it...blah blah...distract them from the fact you are saying no!)

Do not sweat ANY of the small stuff; with a two year old there is not really that much that they can't be diverted from or that matters THAT much other than safety stuff...

Get huge sense of humour! Take things lightly rather than approaching everything as if it's serious. This worked so well for me and had the lovely side-effect of developing DS' sense of humour

Also finally, do not feel judged, do not care what other people might be thinking because A) you don't know what they're thinking and it might actually be sympathy anyway and B) most people won't have dealt with such extreme tantrums in their own kids so are not qualified to judge you

HTH.

I am definitely liking the sense of humour idea.
Some days I feel like mine is buried somewhere in the garden! Will try and be more positive generally as this does help. But it's hard sometimes when we are on the third tantrum by 9.30!
I also agree about trying not to feel judged, although this too is hard when he is shouting, 'give my that stupid dvd/toy/sweet/ now!' whilst lying on the floor in Tescos.
The flip side to all his dramatics is that he can be the funniest, most charming, chatty and loveable little guy I have ever met! Must try to keep that in mind during those Tesco's moments!
Thanks for the advice!

actually i have to say that the saying no without saying the word no works a treat - its just that sometimes I forget and say it!!!

I wonder if it's all to do with boys and testosterone! My little darling is 2 and a half and has the most enormous meltdowns to the point where you wonder how his weebody can manage all that rage. My daughter never had them like that! Or I've blocked it out...

DS 1 never did it to this extent. Maybe second child thing?
I reckon hormones have lots to do with it. Tonight we had screaming when came home from grandmas as he didn't want to leave. 15 mins in car, 20 when we got home. Hysterical, scratching his eyes, hitting himself, head banging door, screaming incoherently etc.
Horrible end to a lovely day out!
Think I may block this one out with a stiff drink!
Trying to work out how to say, we have to go home without actually saying it!!