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Please try and help me understand why 5yo dd has such horrendous meltdowns

7 replies

thesockmonsterofdoom · 10/01/2009 18:59

Both dh and I are finding them very hard to deal with and as she is getting older it seems to be becoming harder to understand.
They are usually at least once a day and can be triggered by just about anything.
The worst are at bedtime, tonight she was scratching herself a lot so I suggested putting some cream on her excema (we have new cream that she has told me doesnt sting), she went mental because she doesnt like the feeling of the cream. I put it on her body anyway but now she is clawing at her legs, i tried putting cold flannels on her legs to try and stopp them itching (she has drawn blood by this point) she continues screaming, she is then screaming that she wont have a wee before bed (this happens most nights) and says that she wants to stop crying but she just cant.
I am fining it very emotionally draining, they start as tantrums like a toddler but seem to be much more emotionally charged than when she was younger, she is genuinely hysterical and it can take her up to half an hour to calm down.
We try to explain everything to her, dont demand that she does things and try to tell her why she has to do things but she just puts a barrier up and nothing can get through to her.
I think if I could understand a bit better why she is doing this I could take a step back and find it a little less raw, at the moment it really upsets bith me and dh and if either of us end up shouting (which we sometuimes do as it makes you feel desperate) then we feel so guilty.
Any help gratefully recieved.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
thesockmonsterofdoom · 10/01/2009 19:17

bump

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sarah293 · 10/01/2009 19:21

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FrannyandZooey · 10/01/2009 19:24

she sounds extremely tired to me
ds1 will behave like this if exhausted - or hungry

UnfortunatelyMe · 10/01/2009 19:33

i would agree with franny. My dds do this dd2 worse than dd2. I have found that a cold wet flannel on the face helps, for a shock out of the screaming thing, and then i can helpfully say in a nice voice...ah heres a towel and sometimes it diffuses the situtation.

UnfortunatelyMe · 10/01/2009 19:35

dd1 worse than dd2.sorry

twentypence · 10/01/2009 19:39

One of the symptoms of ds's allergic reaction is to be teary and cross and totally confused by being teary and cross, making him more teary and cross.

Half a zyrtec tablet - not teary and cross (or itchy and uncomfortable) good nights sleep, much better behaviour and control of emotions.

I get teary and cross when I am ill too - it's one of the ways I know it's gone beyond tiredness and into "you need to lie down immediately".

thesockmonsterofdoom · 10/01/2009 19:43

20p that worries me, both dd's are coeliacs and dd1 has really bad excema which we cant work out what the cause is.
dd2 had some gluten on thursday (like a crumb) and has had runny nappies and terrible nappy rash ever since, dd1 has always had a more tired and miserable reaction, I am hoping to god that she is not getting hold of food sheshouldnt at school.

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