DD with an atittude - come help me...

[nappyzonehasastroppytoddler]

Well basically she wont do as she is told and last night went to my parents and i warned her beforehand to behave herself but she was so silly showing her bum, blowing raspberrys and not tidying up or doing as told and generally acting like a toddler. Normally she is reasonably good but since going back to school (shes 6 btw) she is rude ill mannered and driving me mad. I have lost it and screamed like a banshee and chucked her to bed and now need another tactic - her dad has just took her out to her acting thing this afty so she is out for an hr - i feel like i am in a mood with her and its making me . Well i say he is taking her but she still hasnt got ready as she is too busy teaching her class! grrrrrr

Bumping for you.

thnkas - they will be back in about 20mins - i have dug out some stickers i was giving as rewards before xmas. Then were of to asda (god help us!)

As I clicked on this I wondered if she'd be six, MY 6 yr old says "la la la" now when I try and tell her off. If I ask her to do one tiny job, such as putting the milk back in the fridge she says "why should I?".

I don't know how to get through to her!

No help, but I'm bumping this in the hope that somebodywill come along with the answers.

ps, my six yr old also obsessed with poo says poo all the time. She changes the words of songs to be 'poo'. She said to my dad, this is my lula granddad! Luckily she had her clothes on and was just pointing. But I say, oh don't be so silly! and she just gets siller.

yes, I also wondered if she was 6 before reading the thread

my dd now says 'dunno' 'blah blah blah' & the worst which makes me 'so what'

all courtesy of older friends at school

I have zero tolerance were rudeness is concerned, but it's hard when they are being influenced from peers, as is inevitable

yes we get la la la and poo poo head etc.. and general obsessiveness with poo words too- she grabbed dh crotch the other day like in a game of tig and we had to have a word of seriousness in case this was a new game at school! We have upped the bathroom privacy now for dh.

I have a 2 yr old who copies me shouting at her which is obviously not good

all part of growing up, but it drives you up the bleeding wall and down again

Sorry ladies, mine's just turned 7 and is still at it.
It's not even the actual 'naughty' thing she does that causes the problem anymore, it's the attitude when she's asked to put it right.
It could be something as simple as 'if you're not painting anymore, put the lids on your paints or they'll dry out' and all hell breaks loose.
I find myself lowering the tone and volume of my voice and going into this diatribe (or something like)
'I have asked you quite pleasantly to do something that is in both my interest and your own and I do not understand why I am receiving this attitude in return. If you refuse to act reasonably then the paints will be leaving this house. Reconsider yourself. Thank you.'
I am finding the combination of the quiet voice, the deeper tone and the formal language seems to make her hesitate. Doesn't always work though.
And dh has to put up with my late night diatribe of 'Seven times today that little monster has refused to do such and such. I fancy sticking a huge elastoplast over her gob. I swear that kid is going off the rails, we'll be visiting her in girly borstal by the time she's 15, I tell you next time I'm getting a couple of black bags and the whole lot's going down the dump. I can't keep living like this...'

dodgingflu's approach sounds great to me. funnily even my ds, who is also six and up to now has been almost old-fashioned in his extreme polite-ness, is coming out with some real teenager-y comments this last week!

I agree that it is better to calmly remind them why you've asked them to do something and what will happen as a consequence; and I think the MOST important thing at this stage is to have NATURAL consequences (as in dodging's example of the paints going if they're not tidied) rather than punitive consequences like "you're grounded" etc.

I do think it's important to keep the tone calm because at this age they'revery good at up-ping the anti to fight their corner and you can soon find yourself in a very confrontational house with a very angry child.

Don't give blanket commands as in 'behave yourself" just ensure that each unwanted behaviour is dealt with eg "If you keep on being rude we will go home".

Also, gain a better sense of humour. You don't have to punish every time she was to show her bum you can say "ooh a bum, watch out the bum biter is about" this works a TREAT with our ds when DH does it as it lightens the mood, makes DS giggle like mad and also makes him put the bum away! Obviously if it's not at home or out in public then you can take the "we'll go home" approach because they do need to learn that there's a time and a place.

Good luck!

dodgingflu, I'll try the deeper voice technique. HOpefully my dd won';t say 'la la la' while I'm talking.

that's a perfect example about paints. I'm also baffled that she can't be bothered to put the lids back on her own paints. Doesn't she get that they are HER paints, her stuff?! I think I'm going to follow some of my threats through and actually throw out congealed paints, playdough, jigsaws on the floor with a piece missing.

Would make the house tidier too!

ok i have done the calm thing this afty - then i played wii with her so we were doing something together and then she gets all angry at 'this stupid horrible game' - ok the wii gone away !