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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

advice needed for vomitous child

18 replies

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 22:54

No laughing matter...our 2yo is wearing us out she has learnt how to make herself sick to drag out bedtime etc. Any ideas muchly appreaciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

scrooged · 09/01/2009 22:55

Oh dear. That's not good!

Have you changed her routine?

hairymcclary · 09/01/2009 22:56

Ignore it. Clean it up, dont say anything to her about it, keep calm and quiet.
Do that for as long as it takes.

Original poster

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 22:59

DD's having homeopathic treatment for other probs which have upset her bodyclock but this is a new thing and she's been on the remedies for a couple of months now.

OP posts:

hairymcclary · 09/01/2009 23:01

If you feel she is doing it just to drag out bedtime or for the attention, then dont give her what she wants. Be consistent. And dont rise to it.

Original poster

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 23:07

That's what we did tonight but had to bathe her again (she was covered in puke) I'm going to sound really harsh now but I had to shout because she thought it was ok to pile toys into the bath. She had a bath (sans toys) and was put promptly back to bed.

OP posts:

scrooged · 09/01/2009 23:13

Don't bathe her, this is fun . Just wash her with a flannel. Don't talk to her, don't even look at her. Change the bed, change her jim jams and put her into bed. Don't reward this behaviour with a bath and toys!!

hairymcclary · 09/01/2009 23:14

I think id be tempted to just do the very bare minimum with regards to washing her. She is getting extra playtime that way. She is getting what she wanted.

I think youll have to be really cruel to be kind on this one for at least a week or two. Be a united front with dp and 100% consistent.

What time do you put her to bed?

Original poster

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 23:16

I agree about the toys (hence the shouting and removal of them) but the stringey vomitous hair I cannot abide. Maybe it will have to stay til morn in future tho. (Yuck, as we still co-sleep)

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Original poster

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 23:18

Bedtime is around 8 which is later than I'd like in terms of time I need in the evenings but hey, DD simply does not need a lot of sleep and better than waking at 5 when we don't get up til 6

OP posts:

dsrplus8 · 09/01/2009 23:22

get some stemital from docs, works a treat. in emergencies(when docs is shut) you could try liquid piriton, stops the spewing!are you sure shes learned how? , ive never heard of a wee one doing that so young! there's always a first time though!

hairymcclary · 09/01/2009 23:22

Id say 8 is fine if not a tad later than i would like too.
Mine are 8 and 5 and go to bed at 7.30, 8.30-9 at weekends.

Can see why you cant stand the not bathing tho if you co-sleep! Does she not have her own room? Is it your choice that she co sleeps?
(going off the subject, but am curious)

Original poster

NancysGarden · 09/01/2009 23:58

She does have her own room but it's a playroom til we get a big bed. Will try piriton, we have got a bottle somewhere.

I am pretty sure it's learned as she does get travel sick sometimes and knows what happens when she voms. She's extremely bright and although I am an utterly doting mother, I too can see she has a manipulative streak (strange to say about a 2yo but true.) As a result I am much stricter than I ever imagined I would be.

OP posts:

Original poster

NancysGarden · 10/01/2009 00:03

(the co-sleeping has got to stop soon, I am dragging my heels because I know how difficult sleep training is going to be with such a headstrong girlie, but it is one of my new year's resolutions...)

OP posts:

dsrplus8 · 10/01/2009 00:12

they do say very gifted/intellegent children are hard to handle, usual kid tactics dont work with them...poor you , you have my sympathy (for the stress darlings!)

Original poster

NancysGarden · 10/01/2009 00:28

Why thankyou dsr, ahh that's better

OP posts:

Pheebe · 10/01/2009 08:46

Hi Nancy, I'm going to go against the grain a bit here. I think you should stop 'punishing' her as such for being sick and address the not wanting to go to bed issue that is causing it. I would start with looking carefully at the bedtime routine. Are you actually rushing her into bed (we made this mistake), can you push her bedtime back half an hour and get her to take some control over it - choose her bubble bath, choose a flannel, choose a book or two. Stick to the routine but be a bit more flexible. You need to make bedtime a positive experience for her rather than trying to break her spirit and force her to do what you want. You're clearly stressed about it - hence the shouting at her for putting toys in the bath, why was that really a problem, seems like it was a perfectly reaasonable thing for her to do, she was going to have a bath, bath=toys...did she damage them or did it just mean you had to tidy them up again? I appreciate it was the second bath and was a chore for you but ultimately she was going to go to bed anyway so if you want to look at it as a battle, she'd gained nothing except your time. I realise this might sound very critical of your parenting style, I don't mean it to be. What I'm suggesting is you look at the reasons behind your parenting decisions (ie insisting that she goes to bed at a certain time and in a certain way) - are they for your convenience or because she will benefit or learn from doing things your way. Two is a funny age, they are starting to see the benefits of being independent but aren't yet old enough to carry it out. To my mind its all about cajoling and getting them to WANT to do things your way. Otherwise life is a constant battle and miserable for everyone.

This is a personal opinion but I would stop the homeopathy. They are NOT remedies, they have NO active ingredient, they 'work' on the placebo effect, kids don't have any expectations therefore the placebo effect does not work on them. Any changes are more likely to be as a result of changes in your behaviour because you're expecting the 'remedy' to change them/their behaviour. Anyway, thats an entirely differnt thread...

Original poster

NancysGarden · 10/01/2009 11:41

Hi Pheebe, there might be some sense in trying to let her take more control at bedtime but with caution, I have tried the slowing bedtime down but it can go on as late as 9.30 if allowed which is just not practical. Will try the making more choices tact we used to do this lots before I went back to work and she was as good as gold.

True it's not convenient for me to have her up so late but it's not good for her either as children need lots of sleep and we get up at 6.

As regards homeopathy, I have seen it work so I will persevere.

OP posts:

Pheebe · 10/01/2009 12:27

Hi Nancy, I agree its about getting the balance right, DS1 would have stayed up with us til we went to bed (and does sometimes now he's 4 at weekends anyway) and would have been a grumpy tired nightmare as a results so yes there are definitely limits. I've found that the rows and battles in our house are always when we're on a schedule or I neeeed to get something done quick and the ds's are slowing me down . The turning point for me came when someone suggested to me to start questioning myself and my decisions and stop insisting everything be done exactly my way (helped in my relationship with DH as well!). Anyway, hope it starts to get better for you all.
phee

O and re the homeopathy thing, each to their own, just my opinion

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