does the relentless slog that is life with a toddler and baby get easier or do I just have to get used to it?

[deaconblue]

Ds is 2.8, dd is 8m and everything feels like a struggle. From getting him dressed, to getting her to have proper naps and sleep through, everything is hard, hard work. Do I have to accept that life as a parent is just like this or can I expect things to get a bit easier when they get older?

I've got the same age gap as you (mine are now almost 5 and almost 7) and it definately gets easier month by month. I found at your stage the eldest one going to playgroup was a help as I was down to 1 dc for a few hours and holy grail the younger 1 might even sleep. Also had a routine that involved being out of the house for some time every morning and a shorter trip after naptime in the afternoon and then quite strict bedtime worked for me re mental health preservation(i.e. limiting long periods spent at home alone with children and knowing that by 7-7.15ish I could "clock off" from childcare).

And then before you know it you will be on one of the "my DC are starting school i feel sad threads"...

It will pass really! That is unless you do what I did and go on to have 6 children! My oldest is 10 now , and I still have a baby and toddler - only now I have several older children thrown into the mix too LOL

It does get easier and before you know it the kids will be at school and you will forget the bad times.

Right at this moment it sounds as though you could do with some 'me' time. Is there anyone who could look after the kids for a couple of hours a week for you to get yourself away from the house on your own and get your hair done, get a coffee and read a mag or wonder around the shops, you will probably feel a lot better and may find that the kids will co-operate.

Ooo, I like this thread. Mind are 27 and 3 months and I feel so tired all the time. I actually rejoiced when DH started his Christmas holiday from work and I didn't have to have them on my own for a whole two weeks. At which point DH asked if it wasn't time for me to go back to work, but that doesn't feel right either. Like an idiot, I worried about having three children and being outnumbered, completely forgetting that DH is at work all day and I have to deal with two on my own!

Sometimes I get glimpses of things being lovely, but they are short-lived at the moment and it takes a huge effort to get organised enough to do anything or go anywhere. I would love to get my mojo back - when DD1 was a year old and slept through the night I started to make an effort to actually do things - cook nice dinners, get sexy with DH - but then I got pregnant again 3 months later and everything went to pot again.

At least I know that I'm not alone, and not especially crappy at this parenting lark.

This has really scared and depressed me. I am 5 1/2 months pregnant with second baby and have a 2.3 yo. Really dredding it now ; think I've made a big mistake

Mine are 2.3 and 5 months and it's bloody bloody hard work.

I agree with whoever said that visitors to my house are shocked by the relentlesness and sheer physical slog of it, which always makes me feel a bit better .

We cope by making sure we go out most mornings, even if it's just for a walk round the park. I find if I've not gone out for a couple of days, the thought of getting them both ready, sorting out the double buggy etc. fills me with horror, if I do it regularly it doesn't seem as bad.

I also try and do chores in the evening, to minimise stress during the day, and prep stuff like lunch, even putting milk in dd's beaker and sticking it in the fridge for breakfast time etc.

DD loves arty crafty stuff so I've got a little table set up for her with paper, crayons, stickers always available, then if I'm feeding DS she can play at her table (or watch cbeebies )

Bed for 8pm at the latest helps here too.

I did what mrstittlemouse did - DD hit 1 year old, I started to feel normal again, initiated sex (just once!) and bang - DS arrived 9 months later.

I live for DH's holidays - it feels like such a relief not to have them both by myself all day!

I return to work in 10 days, 2.5 days a week, so I'm hoping some of my issues will fade away - will be bliss having uninterrupted conversations and poo'ing in peace! The 6am alarm call on 4 hours sleep may kill me off though .

In response to your OP the Baileys has made me waffle - I think it gets easier - we're doing a fabulous job!

I haven't found it easier (at the mo), but just getting used to it and nursery really helps. Plus I get to spend quality time with DS2.

WobblyPig - you'll be fine!

There's a great 2 under 3 thread somewhere - in parenting??

On the upside, it's lovely when they start interacting - my 2 have just realised they can play together, DD loves to do 'row row the boat' with DS while he's on my knee - he giggles his head off while she sings the right words in the wrong order just about in tune VERY loudly! Tis very very cute and makes the slog worth it.

Thanks for that - sounds very scary reading everything here though.

So does childbirth when you're pregnant with DC1 - then you do it, you get something wonderful at the end of it, decide it's worth the hasle and do it again!

That's my theory anyway!

Oh I only have one and she is 12 months next week and was thinking about baby no2 but I think you have all put me off. I was told it was easier with 2 too because apparently "they entertain one another"

I have 18 months between DD1 and 2 and yes at times it was hard but I have never regretted it, I think I found it started to get a bit easier when DD2 started to walk and could chase after DD1, I find the 6m-1y stage hard when they are crawling and cruising but are heavy to carry too. When DD1 was 3 and DD2 18m, DD1 started nursery which helped a bit.

I must be utterly insane as I now have 5m DD3 and it is now very hard but I knew this would be the hardest year as next year DD1 starts school followed by DD2 the year after, I am hoping after that it will be a breeze

It is utterly relentless at times, you never sit down never get a minute to yourself but it's great fun and never boring.

I am here with you all, DD 23 months, DS 5 months, cannot seem to get a grip on our life. I do one thing OK (park this morning, took 3/4 hour to get us all dressed warm enough), but am now sat on MN surrounded by crap, need to make dinner, need to wash nappies, DS feeding, feeding, feeding, actually probably napping on boob, another thing done badly...

ooh sorry, didn't mean to put everyone off having a 2nd. DD is the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on and is a really chilled out, happy baby and ds despite saying no to everything is so so funny. So even though the slog is relentless I am so glad we had a 2nd dc

It is good to know it will get easier. I have dd 23 months ds 5 months.
My choice to have them close and wouldnt change it.
However some days I sit there and think get me outta here.(the guilt eats away at me most of the time)
who do I deal with first etc...
I totally Agree with not bothering to go for a wee sometimes.
I am just enjoying this before ds is mobile.