18 month old does not want to go with his father

[crissit]

I am really getting concerned of this open visitation, that is suppose to be in my childs best interest. The baby will cling to me screaming and crying and sometimes run into his room and hold the door shut when his father comes to get him for his visitation. Shouldn't the childs actions be their voice, when their not able to express themselves only in two word sentences. I feel like I'm being made the bad guy here, when I'm the one having to pull my child out of his room and hand him over to his father.
Anyone else out there going thru these episodes?? Would appreciate any advice.

Are you happy that he is a good father? If he is a good father are you trying to ease the relationship? It really is in the DCs best interests to have a relationship with his father.

How often does you ds see his father? Most 18 month olds are clingy and unless he sees him a few times a week, he is probably just behaving like any other child his age would at being made to leave his mother and go with a comparitive stranger.

Perhaps you could go along with them for the first few sessions until he gets used to it.

comparative

Oh and my dd doesn't like going to my brother who only sees her every couple of weeks, she will sometimes scream if he tries to pick her up...after a while though she is laughing and playing with him and demanding that he carry her on his shoulders

When they are that age you really have to work hard with them to get them to accept people-it is the same with grandparents. You need to talk about his father-let him speak to him on the phone-play with him together. You will have problems if you expect him just to go off with him-it doesn't mean that you try and stop the visits.

He is a busy person, but seems to love the little guy. I think, after reading everyones thoughts on this, that maybe the problem is his father picking him up randomly and maybe he should be more on a steady schedule with his visitations so little man has more of a sense of whats going on. I am just worried about his sense of security...me having to chase him down and hand him over to dad, I just can't help but wonder what baby is thinking. Sometimes he will say "I good boy mamma." and this makes me feel bad.
He does talk to him on the phone daily.
About me going with him on his visits, I don't think that would go over well, as dad is remarried; or was until she didn't want him to have nothing to do with baby.

I think, however hard, you have to try and ease the visits for the sake of your DS. If you were the visiting parent you would want help in maintaining the relationship. Do you mean that his step mother doesn't want to know him? Are they still together, or has he chosen the child?

He's chosen the child. I do encourage these visits, even though his license has been suspended for not paying support and he still refuses to pay. I don't show distress and always have a smile and kind words. I'm only human, I go thru distress when he doesn't let me know what time he's bringing the baby back. I had an issue with him when the baby was just a week old, he stole him out of the doctors office and I played heck getting him back. I have fears sometimes that will happen again. Especially since the baby shows him he doesn't want to go. He's kind of controlling like that, but for the most part, he know's I'm his friend even though at times he's not mine. I just want my little guy to have a good sense of security. I believe a healthy mind is just as much important as a healthy body.

I think that the answer is to have a more regular schedule -it would be much easier for you all, especially DS. I am surprised that you haven't had more replies-hopefully someone will come along with a similar experience. Good luck.

dad and I talked and agreed to a more regular schedule for visits of every Wed. and every other weekend. thanks for all your help.