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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Developmental delay @ 8 months

22 replies

amyazelda · 07/01/2009 18:29

Hi,
Our DD (8 months) has been referred to the local childrens development centre following a visit to the HV. She can only partially hold her head up, cannot sit up or crawl and has wandering eyes a lot - she seems to spend a lot of time 'away with the fairies' and isn't interested in much besides food and basic, short playing. We have a hearing test booked next Thursday and an eye exam the following Monday then hopefully (NHS depending) we'll see the paediatrician shortly after that. Needless to say, we have been very worried about all this, mainly because we are so in the dark during the wait for appointments and your brain comes up with a whole range of possibilities, from the optimistic 'it'll be fine she's just taking her time' to the 'oh my god maybe there's something really wrong'... Sorry to bang on but what I'm really writing for is to ask if anyone has experience of this type of scenario as we get sympathy galore from friends and family but that doesn't go very far when what we need is something more concrete.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 07/01/2009 18:33

from friends/associates who had similar babies

one was absolutely fine

one sadly had a brain tumour

I think you could be just torturing yourself because it can mean something and nothing

DesperateHousewifeToo · 07/01/2009 19:21

As you say, it could be absolutely nothing. The one big consolation if there is a reason for this delay is that she will hopefully be diagnosed early and get any support that is required.

I hope you get some answers.

Original poster

amyazelda · 08/01/2009 10:21

Thanks for your replies, what we really would like is to speak to anyone who has been through this, just so we don't feel so isolated and in the dark...

OP posts:

MannyMoeAndJack · 08/01/2009 11:05

My friend's ds was referred when he was approx. 8-12mths old because he was unable to sit up and had poor motor skills in general. In his case, he was found to have a brain abnormality.

It's good that you have some appointments lined up, I hope you get some answers very soon, best of luck.

Original poster

amyazelda · 08/01/2009 12:52

OK, no more horror stories please! We have already imagined the worst case scenarios... Something positive would be much appreciated!!

OP posts:

MannyMoeAndJack · 08/01/2009 13:06

Well my friend's ds is still her ds at the end of the day, 'horror story' or not.

feelingbetter · 08/01/2009 13:13

Second MM&J, your DD is still your DD.
It could be something, could be nothing. Every child is different. It is great that you have appointments lined up so quickly so I hope you'll get some answers soon. Also you will have access to help and support for DD - even if only required in the short term. Try to remain positive until you know what you are dealing with. All the 'what if's' can really grind you down. I know it is easier said than done , but it is all you can do for now. And of course, enjoy your lovely daughter.

wannaBe · 08/01/2009 13:19

The fact that you are being referred so early is a positive thing. If there is anything wrong then your ds can receive the support he needs from an early age, and this will help him in the long-term.

There really is no point torturing There really is no point your torturing yourself with the stories of children who had something wrong and the ones that didn't. All children are individual, and regardless of whether your ds has a delay he is an will always be your ds.

katedan · 08/01/2009 14:00

Hi amyazelda,

I don;t have experience of this situation at 8 months but 2 of my 3 children were refered to the hospital as they were not walking at 17 months and both are fine. I think it good they are checking your DC out and maybe it is going to be as simple as she needs glasses (My Ds wore glasses from 9 months)you mention her eyes wandering alot my DS has Nystagmus which means his eyes flicker all the time but he is now 5 and it does not effect him at all. Try to stay postive and big hugs to you as I completly understand how scary it must seem at the moment. there is lots of reasons why she could be doing these things and most of them are very minor.
Let us know how you get on.

chipmonkey · 08/01/2009 14:11

amyazelda, there are so many reasons why babies would be referred that asking on a website like this is going to give you a full spectrum of replies, from best case scenario to worst, so possibly not the best place to ask if all you're looking for reassurance.

My ds4 is 8 months old, cannot crawl properly, though he does make an effort but does hold his head up. On my antenatal thread one of the babies is already walking and some are standing, this doesn't mean that my ds4 is "behind" as such, I am sure he will crawl and walk but it may not be for a while!

Is this your first baby?

FioFio · 08/01/2009 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

norfolklass · 08/01/2009 14:32

Hiya

My little boy was born at 36 weeks so a little early but not exactly premature and we were advised that he would reach his milestones at exactly the same time as all other children...he didn't. He was born in the february and by the christmas of the same year he still couldn't sit up let alone crawl. Like you I was really worried and everyone kept telling me he'd be ok. He seemed different to my friends babies somehow...didn't like "playing" much or joining in with songs etc...in fact I stopped taking him to our postnatal group because it upset me so much.

He finally sat up on his own at about 11 months and crawled about 14 months. He walked at about 17 months which some would say was "delayed" but I think he was just taking his time about things lol!! He's now nearly 4 (in february) and is absolutely amazing. He is bright,funny,happy,articulate and never sits still. All the worry I had at the time seems a million miles away so just wanted to say more often than not there is a happy ending. Just because she is taking her time with things doesn't always mean there is a problem. There was a point when I thought my little boy would never sit up...now I long for him to sit down for a minute!

Original poster

amyazelda · 08/01/2009 14:51

Thank you for your posts, it means a lot to hear from others who have been/going through something similar. We do stay positive and think good things most of the time but when you have a baby with a whole range of development issues it means that you are kind of on your own as other parents and even the HV don't really know what you're going through... We also appreciate that in all other respects DD is a beautiful, healthy baby and that we are so lucky to have her, it's just a shame that human nature is naturally prone to indulging in the darker side of things...
Thanks again.

OP posts:

Clarissimo · 08/01/2009 14:57

'when you have a baby with a whole range of development issues it means that you are kind of on your own as other parents and even the HV don't really know what you're going through... '

It needn't

if and only if you gt an answer you don't want there is a thriving special needs board here on mn with lots of support

which ime (and I have 2 sn children) makes the wrong answers easier

good luck

meandjoe · 08/01/2009 15:02

my sister's friend's dd was like this. always seemed to be in her own world. didn't attempt to reach out for toys, didn't sit up til over 12 months, didn't crawl til 18 months, walk til 2.5 years. she is fine but does have a slight learing disability.

Bumblelion · 08/01/2009 15:03

I refer to my own thread titled "failed 8 month development check"
here. Very old thread but at least it proves I am not a Troll (dating back to 2002!!).

Not a horror story, but my DD was finally diagnosed with a genetic condition that basically causes overgrowth and delayed development. The condition is mainly to do with overgrowth but the global delayed development is due to this also.

Took us nearly 2 years (she was by then nearly 3) before we received a diagnosis but in the meantime she received portage (immense help and she came on so much in such a short space of time), also saw occupational therapist, physiotherapist, was under the eye hospital, hearing, etc.

She has reached all of her milestones (albeit a bit later) and goes to mainstream school (with a little bit of help).

She does everything that any 7 year old can do, albeit sometimes it takes her a bit longer to master the skill.

She receives SALT during school hours (twice a month, I think) and also still attends the outpatients for hearing (had grommets three times, always fell out, hearing at the moment seems to be fine, although a bit of glue ear). No longer sees physiotherapist, ocupational therapist, etc.

feelingbetter · 08/01/2009 19:42

I was going to point you in the direction of the special needs board too, but couldn't find a way to do it without scaring you further!

It has honestly been a lifesaver for me, just to be able to connect to people who know even if our situations are very different.

We are a nice lot over there you know, if you ever need us. Good Luck xx

wrinklytum · 08/01/2009 19:49

My dd has developmental delay and was diagnosed as delayed at about 20 months,though we had had concerns prior to this. xxxx

Would second the Special Needs board,everyone has been very helpful to me on there xxxx

Original poster

amyazelda · 08/01/2009 20:19

Thanks again ppl, it really means a lot to hear from folk who have had babes who aren't 'normal' (or 'average' as someone put it...) I know that they are all different but at the mo I am so envious of all those whose babies are doing 'normal baby things' but hey, they are still worried about them in other ways I expect..

OP posts:

wrinklytum · 08/01/2009 21:04

Amy,it is normal to feel like that,and to some extent it never goes,although the important thing to remember is that your dd is your dd,and you will love her no matter what.I think I found some comfort when we actually got a dx,as at least we knew to some extent what we were dealing with.DD gets lots of help from Portage (It is a marvellous service),and input from SALT and physio.I have also found it comforting to meet and chat to other mums with children with additional needs.As someone else has said I have got into the mentality of not looking to far in the future and taking it day by day.The paediatrician also advised a "Glass half full" outlook ie focus on what your child CAN do rather than what they can't and I felt this was a good way to approach it.Portage focus very much on the "Can do" side of dds development,and tailor her activities to take on board what she can achieve by breaking stuff down into small steps.

Hugs,Wrinkly xxxx

Original poster

amyazelda · 09/01/2009 09:25

Thanks wrinklytum, Portage sounds great, its nice to know that there is proper help out there if needed. Really the worst thing about it all is the waiting....

OP posts:

cory · 09/01/2009 09:31

A distant relative of mine was very late in his development in all areas and they thought there was permanent damage caused by premature delivery- he is now a very normal young man of 19. But it took him until junior school to catch up, so his parents had a very worrying few years.

Dd was very late with all motor skills- this turned out to be due to hypotonia and a joint condition.

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