My 4-year old son won't use school toilets

[yackityyak]

My son is refuses to go to the toilet all day at school, and I am regularly presented with a bag of dirty clothes when I pick him up. He is also reluctant to use the loo at home although it is not quite as bad here. The teachers are getting fed up with his constant accidents, confront me most days about it and seem to be expecting us to sort out the problem even though I keep telling her we have tried and failed various methods. We have a sticker chart (leading to reward) going at home, but this doesn't seem to be working very well. He is a real home boy, with a very stubborn streak which doesn't help and very routine-based, and has not taken to school very well. The toileting is becoming a real issue - I;m also worried he'll get a urine infection or worse. Any suggestions how we can encourage him to go when he needs it?

[Northumberlandlass]

What are his reasons for not using school toilets ?

xx

[yackityyak]

I'm not quite sure of his reasons for not liking to go to the loo, but he is quite fastidious and doesn't like wiping himself because he might get dirty fingers. Also I think he's worried someone might barge in on him in the school loo - this did happen once and he's mentioned it a few times. Apparently the plastic locks are quite flimsy and will come open with a push from outside. He's quite an anxious boy, and I also think he does worry about having "accidents" at school but he can't quite seem to make the connection between him being desparate and holding it for hours and then having an accident. Thanks for your reply Northumberland Lass, any toughts welcome.

[Busymum909]

Hi there. Realise this was a long long time ago. But what was the outcome with this? Have the same problem with my 4 year old girl!!

[NoKnit]

I'm pretty sure the child, or rather young adult can now use the toilet 😆

Honestly it's totally normal both my boys were like it. I've known lots of kids like it. But parents just don't like to talk about it. Honestly your daughter will get it just be patient with her.