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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

To cry or not to cry at night? 15 wk old. Wish I knew what was best to do

16 replies

Andlou · 07/01/2009 12:28

I'm in a total state about how to deal with night wakings. DD has had a couple of weeks when she's slept through the night but then after about a week of this bliss she goes back to waking up several times a night. Sometimes she goes back to sleep on her own, other times she just works herself up and starts crying and can't drop off again. Giving her a little stroke seems to help calm her down sometimes (she's still in moses basket by our bed) but other times she just bawls. She's totally breastfed and won't take a bottle or a dummy and it seems the only way to get her back to sleep is to feed her. Because she's managed to sleep through before I'm fairly but not totally sure she's not hungry and I don't want her to get into a habit of relying on me to feed her so she can sleep - not much fun for me in the long-term! On the other hand I hate leaving her to cry for longer than 10 minutes . Me and DH are both finding it really tough but want to do the right thing for the long-term. Should we stick it out with the crying in the hope that she learns to go back to sleep on her own or should I give in and let her have a quick feed? Scared this will never end...

OP posts:

meandjoe · 07/01/2009 12:33

i'd feed her, deffinitely wouldn't leave her to cry, she's so young. i never left my ds to cry for more than a minute, still don't and he's 17 months old! you can't be sure she's not hungry, could be growth spurt?? i'm sure she'll sleep through again when she's read but she needs reassurrance and comfort. she's far too young to understand that she needs to go to sleep on her own. i know it's knackering but it is worth it as she'll feel more secure and hopefully be more confident to go to sleep on her own in time. xxx

claireybrations · 07/01/2009 12:34

Personally I would feed her.

If you are sure she isn't hungry then you could try rocking or cuddling her to sleep instead of feeding.

Have you seen this?

Bubbaluv · 07/01/2009 12:44

A dummy dipped in gripe water is worth a try. My DS wouldn't take a dummy till I tried this one and it worked a dream. Started sleeping thorugh at 4 months and the dummy was gone.

Habbibu · 07/01/2009 12:47

I wouldn't have a problem feeding her. At this age it could easily be a growth spurt, and you won't be creating habits - just do the quickest easiest thing and don't worry about it - she's still really tiny.

fishie · 07/01/2009 12:47

far too young for this and she'll need to feed at night to boost supply.

Habbibu · 07/01/2009 12:48

And please don't worry about self-settling yet - I think far too much is made of this, and it can really blight your time with a new baby.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/01/2009 12:50

At around this age there is a massive growth spurt I think. My DS had been regularly sleeping through for some time and then we went through a month of awful nights starting around now. He DID need to be fed - despite not needing food in the night up to that point. It sorted itself out though and he returned to sleeping 11 hours straight.

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 07/01/2009 12:53

Feed her she's probably hungry. Sleeping though IME is the exception at this age (esp for a breast fed bb). And usually the first sleep through is just a taster not a precedent!

Original poster

Andlou · 07/01/2009 13:46

thanks ladies - nice to get a consensus. Will see how we get on tonight and not beat myself up about giving her the boob straightaway

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Original poster

Andlou · 07/01/2009 17:24

have just read the article you suggested claireybrations - a lot of it rings true

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daisyblue · 07/01/2009 23:35

Thanks for this - I am having the exact same experience with my dd (16 weeks) -slept through for a few weeks, but up 4 times per night over past week, always needing boob to settle - can't bear the thought of leaving her to cry (have been reading threads on cc - leaves a real bad taste in my mouth)
Have also become a little obsessed with self-settling, so thanks Habbibu - you've confirmed what I truly believe (being a FTM I sometimes find it hard to trust my instincts)
Glad of reassurance that a few sleepless nights for me is better than the trauma of leaving her to cry (well, she actually sounds more like she's shouting, bless her)
I had read that article before claireybrations and it's also true for me (forgot about it tho ... mummy brain?)
ps - should I throw my baby whisperer book away?

Hopefully · 08/01/2009 08:05

We had exactly the same thing - went from virtually sleeping through to waking 2-3 times a night (after 10:30pm feed) about 8 days ago, when ds was 15 weeks.

as ds has only ever really woken hungry (never resettled without feed, and not woken more than 3 hourly since about 5 weeks), so i knew it was safe to assume it was a growth spurt. After a week of hell - disturbed nights, the odd all-evening cluster feed (again, he hasn't done this since he was newborn), he slept for 5 hours last night, with only a brief waking during that, when he muttered and we ssshhhhed him from the bed. Really feel we're turning the corner, but not counting my chickens!

At least half a dozen of us on the sept 08 post natal thread have had this as well.

Original poster

Andlou · 08/01/2009 12:52

sounds like it's just a phase/a growth spurt then (how many times have I been told she'll grow out of something?)[roll] Seems true enough though - they just change all the time and no two days are the same! As for just following my maternal instincts - think I was at the back of the line when they were handed out, or did I chuck them out with the rest of the junk mail in the bounty pack? Could be I've just read too many books inc Baby Whisperer

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claireybrations · 08/01/2009 13:31

Have to say I absolutely hated the baby whisperer but she has helped a lot of people. I guess if you feel like it works for you then stick with it but if you makes you worry about stuff even more (as it did for me when I was desperate for solutions to stop ds screaming non stop) then bin it!

daisyblue · 09/01/2009 10:00

Howdy - my lo was up every hour last night ... she seems quite happy tho
think I will throw that book away - it IS making me worry more.
btw Andlou I forgot to tell you before about my dd not taking a bottle either (how selfish of me - sorry) Anyhoo, she started taking one on boxing day (nice pressie!) I am using a breastflow (from Mothercare) and I gave her to my Mum (an experienced bottle - feeder) - it was amazing - Mum just made yummy/feeding noises and dd went for it! took the whole lot! (had to buy fast flow teats for the cheeky wee bugger!) so I am now expressing like kerazee and am about to try a big feed tonight (from bottle ) to see if that helps
I guess we just hang on in there (ps she also wont take a dummy - likes her fist tho!)

Original poster

Andlou · 13/01/2009 13:27

have had a very mixed time since last message. We've now put DD into the cot in her own room and since then I have been getting up and feeding her at 2-3am and at 5am. This is more than when we first came home from hospital. However, yesterday she refused to have her normal 2 hour nap at lunchtime and instead of being grumpy all pm like I was expecting she was fine and then slept soundly all night. Most likely a freak one-off thing but at least has given me one decent night's sleep.
Daisyblue - will try the breatflow bottles, thanks for the tip (fingers crossed). Have also ordered a book called How not to be a perfect mother by Libby Purves - sounds more realistic than baby whispering!

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