Advice on what to do with 11 month old DS doesn't like buggy anymore......

[astragirl]

....he's just started walking, mostly aided with my hand and the other on the buggy, and today he just wanted to hold my leg when we were out. When I put him back in the buggy, as I couldn't envisage how we would get home otherwise, he went really upset and tried to fling himself out the buggy and ended up screaming all the way home!

I don't really know what to do now as it seems to be getting really awkward taking him out and I feel that I can't go far from the house in case the same thing happens. Any ideas or suggestions or as to whether it will pass as I'm feeling quite miserable at the thought of not being able to go out the house to go to the shops .

pamelat, i sympathise with you and all the others on here. i have carried my ds for literally miles upon miles when he screamed in the pushchair. i could never leave him to scream. strange how people on here tell you to leave them to scream in the pushchair but not in their cots??? i felt my ds needed to be close to me at all times, not his fault, just the way he was. he would never have stopped crying, just got hysterical and needed to be held.

Thank you, especially meandjoe

I think it is different when you are new to parenthood, as astragirl said.

I have a few more illusions to be shattered yet

Its not that I want to bribe her, I just would prefer anything to her screaming. If I had the choice between 20 minutes of screaming or 30 mins of having to carry her, I would opt for the carrying.

I guess if/when baby no2 comes along thats just not feasible.

DD hates the car seat too but I dont let her out of that Instead I normally sing and dance and generally perform for her. Maybe I am creating a monster.

lol i am the same in the car, dh drives, i pass toys, snacks, sing he 'wheels on the bus' etc! doesn't always work though so sometimes he has to just have a cry but i hate it and there's no way i would chose for that to happen if i could possibly prevent it by carrying, of course not possible in the car. you aren't creating a monster pamelat, you are nurturing a very loved and secre little girl xxx

secure

Bin the buggy get a sling

(well, don't bin the buggy, but put it away for a bit)

Oh oh oh - or get a buggy board so your child can stand behind the buggy and "push" it while you, erm, push it.

We do have a sling but he's quite heavy now and doesn't like to be hemmed in. He has been walking around the front room lots today, unaided, so maybe i'll try to go for a walk with him tomorrow and see how he goes.

I wouldn't advocate leaving a baby to scream, it's more a matter of prempting some of the known battlegrounds before the conflict starts. I have 3 under 4 and no-one is left to cry in my charge!

Sometimes we all have a wail together, though!

lol, sorry wasn't being rude to you bigfury, it just seems very easy for people to reccommend you ignore the screaming/ crying when it's not their baby doing it! it's so much easier said than done

oh I know. DD1 will not leave anywhere without a crying tantrum at the moment, unless I can distract her before it's time to go. I hate it.

I just try to sympathise and talk to her about what we'll do next. She does find here sleeping bag a comfort, I think.

The problem with bribery is that they will start to wail to get the treat- I've seen it with a friend's child- which I think is quite mean, as it isn't helping them cope with/understand their emotions.

Someone tried giving DD1 a biscuit the other day to placate her, and all that happened was when she finished the biccy she started wailing again for another!

ds was the same at this age. I tried to give choices as much as possible, because he was trying in general to take more control over his world and the buggy was a big part of it. I found when he was given more "freedom" in this and elsewhere he was more likely to be happy to do as I asked when I asked him to go into the buggy.

Also, throw parenting principles out of the window and use bribery where you need to!

Lastly, avoid where necessary. If it doesn't have to be that hard, why make it so? If you can leave 20 mins earlier and he can walk, do that. Or get a buggy board. Or make a deal: "you can walk until we get to the crossing, then you need to sit in the buggy for me again, ok?" (giving a bit of control to him etc etc). Or a sling. (Ergo are good for long walks, especially at toddler age as they can be used as a very light backpack)

On the odd occasion where I HAD to get him in the buggy asap the best technique was to lift him with one arm under his neck and round his shoulders, and the other under his knees. He would be stiff as a board, of course. A quick nuzzle and raspberry in the tummy or tickle with my nose and he would fold up, and before he could blink he would be in the buggy, strapped in.

I agree though, couldn't leave him yelling. Wouldn't do it at night so wouldn't do it during the day either.

My DD does the same sometimes. The first time, when she was about 10 months old I nearly caved in and was about to take her out of the pram before we'd even got out the door of the house. But then I caught myself on and told myself that I was the grown-up here, and I say we're going out in the pram. So with my leg between hers and the aforementioned knee in the groin I clipped her in and off we went. End of. She was fine. I've since got her a few distractions which I rotate so they're always 'new', like a buggy buddy book. Distractions work. Getting distressed and giving in doesn't.

These days (dd is 1 yr) I try and get important things done first, like the shopping, and then stop off in the park for a little walk. She knows when we hit the playground that she's getting out, but will invariably cry when she gets back in for the trip home. So out comes another distraction. It is a bit of a phase, I think, and a start of the 'boundary testing' I imagine they'll be doing for a long time.