Am mum to 4 kids and a stepson, so 5 in total, the oldest 2 are 11, then there's an 8 then the 4 then a 1 year old, but my 4 yr DS is driving us ALL to distraction! Think should give a bit of background so there's a better understanding of our situation. I had my 11 DD and 8 DS from a previous marriage, met my current DH who had his own 11 DS, so straight away we had 3 kids! Then DS4 came along, and he was spoilt.....! We had concerns about his behaviour/development as he still wasn't crawling or making any 'babbling sounds' at 18mths, he had the most outrageous tantrums where he scream, throw things and headbang (so much that he would make his head bleed) and were referred to consultant. At 2yrs, we found out he was partially deaf, then as if by magic over the next 18 months everything came at once, he almost skipped the 'babbling' and crawling altogether and went straight to talking and walking. Behaviour seemed to settle down for a while, but just recently he's become AWFUL! He's scarred my eldest DD's face with scratching, screams whenever he has to get up in the morning, punches and kicks while I try to get him dressed for school, if he doesn't like something any of us say to him, he'll say shut-up and call us a name, the tantrums I could deal with if they didn't go on for so long. He can honestly keep up a screaming fit NON-STOP for well over an hour. I'm sure he knows that it doesn't matter how long it takes he just has to keep going till one of us gives in...which more often than not is DH.
I used to have better control over him and was very strict about bedtimes, sweets & boundaries in general, but I took very unwell just over a year ago, after DD1 was born and DH had to take 6 mths off work to watch kids - that's when everything went downhill and I've never been able to gain control again since.
It's sooooo embarassing going out with him, several times I've ended up breaking down in tears in the middle of the street, I can't chase after him with buggy in crowded streets and he seems to have no fear of losing me.
We can't get him to stay in bed, he sleeps as and when he wants, where he wants (which is often a case of falling asleep on the sofa at 10pm then waking up at 6am, if not through the night with night-TERRORS which he has often) I spent 5 hours the other night putting him to bed over and over, he eventually fell asleep on the floor after screaming for 5 hours. But later woke up through the night and came straight into our bed, so I get up take him through to his bed, then wake up in the morning and he's there beside us again!!
I know this is awfully long winded, I just don't know how to gain control back, I feel as though I'm doing it on my own, DH always gives in and as long as he's doing that it undermines me, the older kids are always laughing at him when he's being naughty - which doesn't help, and now tha DD1 is up and about he's getting all rough with her and I don't want her copying his behaviour!
Basically HELP!!!!