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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

how long can your toddler stay still for??

35 replies

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:09

sounds like a strange question i know but i have some concers over my ds' ability to sit or even stand still. he is only 17 months so appreciate that it is in a toddler's job description to be hyperactive and touching everything. however my ds is litterally never still unless asleep.

he has to be touching everything and protests loudly when he is restricted or moved away from something (normal i think???). he struggles to actually concentrate on anything for more than a minute (again, probably normal). he has always been highly strung and very prone to crying/ tantrums.

even as a new born he couldn't bear to be still. he was always squirmy and screamed a lot! i had to walk around with him all the time and the moment i sat with him he secreamed for me to stand up and get moving. he still rarely sits on my lap. he always hated being strapped into anything like buggy/ carseat and constantly needs to be 'free' to explore everyting, touching, tasting, fiddling.

i am just a bit concerned as my friend's little boy has just been diagnosed with adhd and whilst i realise it's way too early to worry, i do recognise a lot of the traits in my ds already. does it all sound normal??

OP posts:

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:13

also, another worry is that he does make eye contact but it is very fleeting, he seems too busy to look at me for more than a second. he points, babbles, has odd words, waves etc so not worried about communication skills or anything but he does seem a bit 'wired' to say the least. he obsessively climbs up things, grabs things, he falls over and hurts himself at least 5-10 times a day .

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Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:15

he follows instructions fairly well (for a 17 month old!) and has a huge understanding of language eg, he will put something in the bin when i ask him to, put his socks on, fetch me something off the radiator, bring me his shoes, kiss his teddy etc so he is understanding me but always seems like he's on a mission from the moment he wakes til bed time. i am writing this entire thread myself, i know but i keep thinking of things as i'm going along!

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PinkPoinsettias · 04/01/2009 19:17

ds only stays still if he's so shattered he's about to fall asleep. even when he's sitting still or lying down he's usually twitching or shuffling or fiddling in some way. it's enough to drive me mad sometimes.

i think a minute is actually a pretty good attention span for a 17 month old, neither of mine could manage that at 17 months, ds is 2.5 and still can't most of the time!

the best way to look at it is this... alot of these behavioural problems cause an older child to behave like a toddler... so to see those traits in a toddler is perfectly normal, it's only if they don't grow out of these behaviours that you need be concerned.

MegBusset · 04/01/2009 19:19

DS is 22mo and only stays still if Bob The Builder is on! Sounds pretty normal to me. Exhausting, isn;t it?

constancereader · 04/01/2009 19:19

he does not stay still EVER

nappyzonehasastroppytoddler · 04/01/2009 19:19

my ds 22 months has never stayed still until about 2 months ago whenhe discovered then ight garden - now he can sit still for a whole 15 mins (he gets bored part way through)

ahfeckit · 04/01/2009 19:20

my son does all the same things and he is 20 months old. sorry to say (as worrying as all this behaviour is) he is a typical toddler.

Your DS sounds like he is keen to take everything in around him, keen to learn and explore. Very much like my DS too. He never sits still either, and has always had a curious mind. Always keeps busy from the moment he is up in the morning til the minute he goes to his bed.

try not to worry, hopefully these guys will mellow as they get older!!!

nappyzonehasastroppytoddler · 04/01/2009 19:20

thats the night garden

ahfeckit · 04/01/2009 19:22

way too young yet to be going down the ADHD route, I'm afraid. most diagnosis can't really be made til 5 or 6 years of age (approx).

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:23

ahh i see thank you! i have a feeling that a lot of his behaviour is entirely normal but i just get concerned when i see my friend's ds who was born a day after mine. he cries and throws mini tantrums ut is able to sit for a few minuted in a highchair while his mum prepares dinner. my ds constantly needs to be 'doing' something, he has very busy hands and has to be stimulated constantly! he is actualyl fairly clever (i think anyway!) but his obsessive need to do everything and take no direction without a fight is exhausting. he never even lays down in the day, he could litterally walk all day, he barely sits. my friend's joke that he is hyperactive but i am starting to wonder if he is! he is very alert and extremely sensitive/ touchy to everything. he is also absolutely wonderful and very very affectionate, so funny but sometimeshe just protests for the sake of protesting! he has to touch everything we have, if i'm eating lunch, he's eating lunsh, he has to have my knife (which of course i don't let him have) but then he tantrums or whinges cos he can't have whatever i have. i seem to be distracting him all day!!!

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Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:25

wow loads more replies, it seems i am worrying for nothing. very grateful to you all!!! thank you. my friend's ds sits on the sofa, mine climbs it!!! i think maybe her ds is just very placid!

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ahfeckit · 04/01/2009 19:26

i know, this stage is utterly exhausting. i am knackered all the time, think we all get that way at this toddler stage!!!
think of it this way: your toddler is really showing an interest in everything in life, never missing a heartbeat, exploring. That is really something amazing when you think of it. I wouldn't like to have a toddler that shows no interest in things, that sat all day and just stared at tv or played with the same toys on the floor. i would be concerned more about that kind of behaviour personally.
I try to remember every day that it's a positive thing that these guys are really learning about the world around them.puts them in good stead for the future.

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:32

well i would deffinitely wory if he just sat there watching tv but surely there is a happy medium lol!

i know it's way too early to tell. i think it's just cos i was reading a lot of things my other friend had for her ds and it states how adhd babies are very fussy, need to be in motion, won't sit and be cuddled, squirmy, very cranky/ touchy etc and it just set alam bells ringing because of how he was as a tiny baby rather than how he is now.

i'm sure a lot of the things he does now are entirely normal for his age but certainly as a newborn until he crawled he was bloody impossible and i often wonder why and that is what worried me i think. he is lovely now and very very engaged in his surroundings which is great.

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wotuhohohoinat · 04/01/2009 19:44

Ds is 26months. He can stay still for a couple of minutes if he is interested in something (usually on the TV), or maybe five minutes to read a book with me, but that's the very very most and only occassionally. Most days he has a concentration span of about 3 seconds.

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:46

how about in car seats/ high chairs etc? my ds had an aversion to anything remotely chair like!

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wotuhohohoinat · 04/01/2009 19:48

Now he sits on a chair for less time than he used to. He won't happily get in a high chair anymore and will only sit for as long as it takes him to eat what he wants to eat.
He's ok in the car as he is used to long journeys. A cd of songs for him helps - we have a Balamory CD and a CBeebies CD in the car.

annabelcaramel · 04/01/2009 19:50

This thread has made me feel a lot better - the original posts could be describing my child, who will not sit still for a nanosecond. I too am KNACKERED come the end of the day. Everyone else I know seems to have such placid little ones whereas mine is in perpetual motion.So, if it helps, you're not alone!

wotulookinat · 04/01/2009 19:51

My DH was given a good bit advice when I was pregnant - toddlers are happy as long as they are running. Doesn't matter what they are doing, as long as it involves running. So true.

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:53

mmm my ds has always hated the car, even as a new born he would just scream, especially if the car stopped moving, god forbid we got to a red light. he will tolerate it now but needs a lot of toys/ snacks for a long journey (anything over 10 mins lol)

maybe he is just inquisitive, he does seem to be very very able. he can unlock the back door and open it with keys that he gets out my pocket?? i think he must just watch everything we do and be constantly experimenting with everything. very full on though and gets frustrated when he can't do something or isn't allowed to do something. all normal again i'm sure. thank you x

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newgirl · 04/01/2009 19:53

mine is constantly on the move - i put her in front of the tv sometimes for a break fo both of us but she doesnt sit still - she will sit on the arm, on the back of sofa, under a cushion, legs on floor etc etc

it changes when 3/4 so enjoy it if you can

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:55

aww annabell, we are in the smae boat! it is so tiring, lovely in a way because a lot of the time, as long as he is 'free to roam' he will just zoom about entertaining himself and copying me if i give him a duster or cloth he cleans up and does a pretty good job too but my goodness, he never ever stops, has to actually be wrestled just to stay still to put shoes on!

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samsonthecat · 04/01/2009 19:57

He sounds just like my DD2 who is never still. She is so different to her sister I was starting to wonder if she had something wrong with her. She doesn't want to read with me and has no interest in the TV at all even if it is on for her sister to watch. She is 19 months.

Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:57

ahh 4/4 sounds a long way off. as long as most toddlers are like this then i guess i can relax and enjoy it a bit. i just had concerns over the eye contact thing as it said it was a red flag for either autism (which i am not worried about) or adhd and i just thought, "woah, so many of these symptoms are describing my ds, exactly". i will stop worrying now (hopefully).

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Original poster

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 20:00

ahh with reading, he likes to be read to, but only if he can charge about at the same time he rarely just sits on my lap and reads. even at toddler group at the end, all the other babies sit on the floor or on laps whilst they sing songs and do the actions for them, my ds just wriggles off and plays with the fire extinguisher/ drags all the toys out again. grrrrrrrr

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newgirl · 04/01/2009 20:15

i reckon treat him like a puppy -lots of outdoor exercise all the time to wear him out and then he may sit quietly for a short time unti he is reenergised again!

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