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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

A Dummies Poll

70 replies

Bzza · 04/01/2009 14:10

Hi,
My 8 week year old DS is going through a rough period (for him and I) and i am unsure whether to use a dummy. I hear so many people tell me not to, for one reason or another, yet i am keen to do anything to help him settle.

i would appreciate as many people as possible simply posting a yes they have used a dummy or no they haven't in this thread. If it is a yes, then in what context would also be useful.

Many thanks

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AuntyVi · 05/01/2009 10:10

Yes, but only for sleep. We noticed even when DS was really tiny that he was a very "sucky" baby and would love sucking on our fingers to help him to sleep, but obv. that wasn't practical so we tried a dummy and it was so good for helping him to sleep and teaching him to settle himself.
Only trouble was around 3-4 months he stopped being able to keep the dummy in his mouth, and at the same time started to become more dependent on it than before, e.g. he would not be able to stay asleep more than 45 mins (in the day at least) unless the dummy was still in. So for a couple of weeks it was quite traumatic as he couldn't settle or stay asleep and kept screaming, but even if I kept replacing the dummy it wouldn't stay in or he would knock it out with his fingers. Then after a few weeks he "found" his fingers and could suck them instead so all was fine again. Now he has turned to his thumb instead, sucks it to go to sleep or when tired; I don't mind at all though as it keeps him content and sleeping well! If we had another though I think we would still use a dummy again if they were as "sucky" as DS.

Haylstones · 05/01/2009 10:17

DD had one from about 6 weeks until her 3rd birthday when she gave it up without any fuss. She only ever had it for going to sleep. Ds is 10 months and refused point blank and now sucks his thumb when going to sleep. If it's right for you and your child then go for it.

Supercherry · 05/01/2009 10:19

Yes, as a soother an sleep aid.

FourArms · 05/01/2009 10:27

Tried with DS1 - he wouldn't take it. Didn't bother with DS2.

backalleysally · 05/01/2009 10:33

DS (3) has one but has only ever used it to sleep. He has it when he gets into bed and I hide it when he wakes in the morning.
DD (10 months) has never had one. She's a thumb sucker.

Rindercella · 05/01/2009 10:47

Tried to with DD but she just spat it right back at me. However now she is older (16 months), if she sees another child with a dummy she is desperate to have it (she even stole one from a friend's bag a while ago & proceeded to walk about the house with it stuck in her mouth ).

RubyRioja · 05/01/2009 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN · 05/01/2009 12:59

no they used me as a soother

nowwearefour · 05/01/2009 13:04

no
i tried for both dds in similar circumstances but neither were willing to accept them. in retrospect i am pleased i didnt have to tackle the issue of getting ri of them again

TeenyTinyToria · 05/01/2009 13:30

Yes - I hate dummies but they were the only thing that soothed ds as he was a very sucky baby. He had one on demand until he was about 6 months, and then at nap times and when very upset only until a year old, and then at bed time only until we got rid of it when he was about 14mths.

pamelat · 05/01/2009 13:34

yes.

Until 12 weeks my DD refused it.

Life was much easier for both of us once she accepted it.

I only use it for nap time.

firststeps · 05/01/2009 13:36

Both of mine had a dummy from about 2-3 weeks to help drift off to sleep or if tired or crying during the day after a feed when they just needed to suck. DS1 is 3 and still has a dummy to go to bed with . I think some babies are very sucky even when full and for us dummies were a lifesaver in the early days.

Tamarto · 05/01/2009 13:38

Yes for eldest DS for 8 months, i forgot it staying over at my dads, he didn't want the spare that was there and never took one again.

I tried with DS2 as he was a very sucky baby but he wouldn't take it and i didn't persivere. I tried with DD too as she was and still is a thumb sucker, but she was having none of it too.

Also out of the three DS1 was the one who was bottle fed, the other two wouldn't touch a bottle.

MKG · 05/01/2009 14:25

Yes. I like to use them only for sleep times. On their 1rst birthday I throw them away as my motto is "1 year or walking, whichever comes first"

Flower3545 · 05/01/2009 14:35

I suppose I have more experience than most, had 3 DC's and over 80 foster children.

I would guess without looking it up that around 60-70% of those have been babies and I have used a dummy for most of them including my own.

I've never had a problem getting rid of a dummy, and I usually do this between 18 months to 2 years and I begin by reducing dummy use to only if they're upset or ill, then only for bed, then the dummy mysteriously vanishes and "I'll buy another tomorrow" which never comes

callmemamma · 05/01/2009 16:21

Yes!!!My 6mo dd has one for naptimes and bedtime.And i was very much against using one before I startedYou know your baby best and some babies just have this very strong need for sucking.My dd is definitely one of these babies and i can't imagine my life without it.She is not "overusing" it iykwim and i am hoping she will just abandon it sooner rather than later....

cory · 05/01/2009 19:19

Didn't use one for either of mine. Now wishing I had for dd, as she still finds it hard to stop sucking her fingers at 12. But really pleased I didn't with ds who never seemed to feel the need to suck anything. You can't win, can you?

nappyzonehasastroppytoddler · 05/01/2009 19:23

dd did not have a dummy and is 6 - she sucks her thumb still and it is proving to be a really difficult habit to break - all tips welcome

ds is 2 and has had a dummy from early on - he still has it to go to sleep and it proved to be a pita some nights when he loses it but this is becomming less so. I hope to remove it within then next 6 month. On reflection i wish dd had had one as i cant chop of her thumb despite threatening too

Ambi · 05/01/2009 19:32

DD has one, it was the first purchase I made whilst pregnant. I can't stand noisy babies, though also not a fan of toddlers running around with them in. Like 2cats, from 6 months she uses it at night. Tbh I would liked to have removed it by now (12 months) but she's always slept well and I think the dummy has helped.

Jennifer2011 · 17/01/2011 19:51

Hi,

We gave in and used a dummy for our 2 week old. It hasn't interfered with breastfeeding and seems to sooth him. He is now 5 weeks and settles to sleep at night quite well. Without a dummy he screams and kicks and thrashes about when he is put down to sleep. I would go ahead and try it - also try different types - they've all got different teats. Tommy tippee closer to nature ones are supposed to resemble a nipple more they sort of point upwards. My neighbour's boy loves these but my little one just spits them out!

Good luck!

AngelDog · 17/01/2011 22:39

Yes from about 4 - 16 weeks but only for sleep. He never really took to them though and we'd have to hold them in for him, and I always took them out as he was going to sleep.

He's never shown any interest in thumb sucking but feeds to sleep very happily at 12 months (apart from naps - bf to sleep in the day stopped working at 8 months :( He goes to sleep very reliably without though).

Another time, I'd try not to use one and just offer bf any time the DC wanted to suck. Don't know if it would work though! :)

6-8 weeks is often when early days unsettledness peaks. Hopefully things may improve soon.

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 18/01/2011 03:03

Yes for DS, intro'd by DH at about 4 weeks.

He still has it at night and he is 3.3 years. I want to ditch it, but DH doesn't want to go cold turkey. He thinks its cruel. Can't really see any way of doing it apart from cold turkey.

DD didn't want a dummy. She just wanted boob. She doesn't need anything now, apart from sticking her hand down my top!

perfectstorm · 18/01/2011 03:16

One of the advisors at the (world-leading) John Radcliffe breastfeeding clinic told me the only difference between a dummy and a finger is you can walk away from a dummy... and it can't ram into the back of their necks if a car stops suddenly, either.

DS still has a dummy for teething at 26 months. He also speaks over a thousand words in fluent sentences. He is very socially adept, confident and happy, he just likes the relief from teething. And as he sucks fingers otherwise, I'd rather he got used to an object he'll outgrow - some adults still suck thumbs.

I think a lot of the opposition is snobbery, bluntly. My grandmother flat out says she hates it because it looks common.

asdx2 · 18/01/2011 06:06

No dummies with any of my five children just because I can't stand to see them (especially with brown teats, they make me heave). Ds sucked his thumb for a very short while but stopped when he got teeth.

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 18/01/2011 09:10

Ds1 had a dummy from 8weeks old for naps and bedtime and sometimes when I needed to get things done and all he wanted to do was suckle on my breast but not actually eat.

He went to bed without it one night at 15months old and hasn't had it since. No tears or tantrums thank god.

I tried to give ds2 one has he was also using my breast as a dummy but he wasn't so easily fooled and is now 17weeks old so no dummy for him.

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