we have had some breakthroughs!!!!

[yawningmonster]

Some of you know that we have been having a tough time being effective parents for our 4 year old ds. He is due for a developmental assessment in late January. We have had a particularly rough time of it lately with pretty appalling behaviour.
Anyway our breakthroughs this week

DS had 4 days in a row with no biting, we had one attempt on the 31st when he got overtired but it has now been another 4 days without bitng and has even bared his teeth at one point and stopped himself short!!!!!!

DS did his first ever forward roll. Ds struggles with a number of physical feats but if he sits on the arm of the sofa and tucks his head down on the pillow in front he has worked out how to get his legs up and over him. I almost cried, he has wanted to do this for such a long time and just hasn't managed it at all and got so frustrated when we offered to help but he can do it!!!!!

DS put sunblock on this morning with absolutely no fuss what so ever. He does not like to be touched, he does not like smelly things (we do have unfragranced, hypo allergenic block) he finds it irritates his skin very easily but today when we said we would be going out and did he want to do his sunblock or shall I, he said I will and did it....this is a first ever!!!!!!

And the absolute icing on the cake. Today was my mum's birthday and we had booked a winery for lunch. It is one which has a lovely outdoor setting which includes, trees, flowing water, bridge and playground. It is about as good as we can get for meeting ds' needs. We all sat outside and ds played around. He managed to sit down and eat for quite some time. He managed to get on with the other children without any tears, tantrums or violence (doesn't like his space invaded)and wait for it we were there for 2 hours!!!! For ds to cope in that sort of setting without any incidence is unprecedented and man did I go overboard telling him how proud I was of him.

come celebrate my son with me. These are really big deals in our house and have come at a time where I have really been doubting my ability to manage ds any longer.

Huge congrulatlions - its the little things that other parents take for granted that can be mean so much

My 7 year old told me that his new years resolution is not to be scared of buttons - and he doesn't have any special needs.

That's so fantastic Yawningmonster - I was thinking about you over Christmas and wondering how things were going. I felt so proud of my daughter too recently for being a reformed character - then last night she had a major tantrum kicking and hitting me and I was able to stay calm (on surface) realise it was tiredness, and put her to bed lovingly and she in the end went to sleep happily. I feel we have really made progress too and it will last, with occasional setbacks.

thank you swanriver, christmas has been a challenge and a half with some truly awful days but these things have been like these positive beacons to focus on and get me through to be honest...they are all things that he just finds so, so difficult and he has managed them, it makes me feel that there is hope on the rough days where as for a while the light at the end of the tunnel seemed very, very dim..these things have just made that light a little brighter for us. Well done to you and your dd too, it is somehow less draining when you feel you have dealt with it all patiently and that it is paying off in small steps

PS I tried doing a somersault recently and nearly cried - thought I would break my neck in process - it was so so difficult aged middle aged! Children are really very clever!

ds would love you, he is in high need of someone willing to give it a go, he is desperate to teach someone else to do it but my very pregnant belly makes it a difficult prospect and by the sounds of things the baby has saved me from certain injury!

aww that's fantastinc yawningmonster!!!!!!!!!! i know things haven't been easy but i really think you have coped amzingly well. well done!!!! can i be really nosey and ask what your ds was like as a baby? he sounds such a lot like my 16 month old, he hates having his space invaded and being touched when he doesn't want to be. getting him dressed or putting cream on has always made him scream even as a new born. he too is very strong willed and i am hoping i can parent him as well as you do your ds. xxx

That's a helluva lot of progress. You're right to be proud of him, and we're proud of you too!

oh thankyou, those last two posts have made me all teary eyed. Meandjoe as a baby ds had severe reflux and due to a medical condition he fed every 2 hours around the clock. He very rarely stopped crying and has always been extremely physically sensitive. He had a lot going on for him in the first 18 months and it was not an easy time for him at all. Funnily enough if I could swaddle him tightly enough then constant contact and rocking with me could sometimes soothe him. Once he was too old for swaddling holding him seemed to make things worse and we used a swing hung from the rafters.

my goodness he sounds like my ds. holding him close still drives him mad unless i stand up and walk with him. he is very active and likes to be on the move all the time. i often think when i read your posts that i will soon be in your position so i need to try and remember all the things you do to cope with him! thank you for getting back to me about that

well done to you and your DS! Be sure to print out this thread and keep it