trying to help a 18mnth old understand good behaviour

[lullaloo]

I undrstand that 18 mnths is still very young, however my toddler is getting very challenging, when is the right time to give them some 'quiet time'(hate the phrase also known as 'time out'?) I am starting to get really embarrsed about going to friends houses due to the bahaviour, anyone got good ideas for helping them understand 'no' a little better...... or not shoving other children when they do not get their own way?

god knows but i'll be watching with interest for my 17 month old! i think the key is just to be really calm and consistant. what's your dc's language/ understanding like generally? not sure 'quiet time works at this age as they are possibly a little to young to link the consequences with their actions iyswim?

I will also be watcing for my 17month old. Although he is quite good really, we have been telling him no firmly from about 8/9 months and if I say no 3 times and he carries on I move him away from whatever it is he's doing.
Agree with meandjoe about it possibly being a bit early. My ds doesn't have much of a skill for language or communication yet although I think he understands more than he is given credit for tbh.
In last months M&B magazine, it said that 16m is an ok age to start the whole naughty step thing (?) how would you do that? Way too young IMO.

DCs language is pretty good (always hard to gague DC does like to talk... a lot)and dc will follow instruction...when they are in the mood.

I found reminding/correcting DS1 gently When he was agressive misbehaved sorted his behaviour out eventually. He was a little demon when he was 18 moths. My method is slow though, he only started behaving in the last few months and he's now 10!

Well, I'd say if communication is at a level where they do understand and can communicate back and can follow instructions, then surely they would have some sort of understanding of being 'punished' for behaviour and maybe a minute or 2 max isn't such a bad idea

i'm just not sure how you'd make an 18 month old stand still for 2 minutes???! surely they'd just get bored and wander off??? or is that just my ds? i'd have to restrain him on the step while he screamed, then after 2 minutes let him go, so he'd just think that if he screams long enough then eventually mummy gives in and lets him off the step right? not sure how it would work with a baby so young but maybe my ds is a bot odd compared to most .

I suppose it is getting the consistency as the lure of a 'quiet life' sometimes slips in. I find the hardest situations when we are with friends and their children..... mine always seems to be the worst behaved i find it so embarassing/frustrating, constantly having to check my child is behaving.

me too! i really think everyone feels this though whether they hide it or not. i always feel like my ds is the worst behaved one at toddler group, yet i get some mum's saying what an angel he is and how their dc would never act the way he does. i think everyine only notices their own child kicking off and causing havoc and always assumes theirs is awful!

a simple IMMEDIATE consequence for 'proper' bad behaviour ('no hitting. if you hit x again, I will move you away'/'draw on the paper. if you draw on the floor again, I will take the crayon away') AND FOLLOW IT THROUGH!

IMO/E, distraction and positive instructions are the best for this age though. Tell them what they should be doing, not what they shouldn't.

Dont expect toddlers to know how to behave nicely' or that they will always be 'good'. Id say my 2.7 is mostly very well-behaved but of course, she has her moments (mainly in piblic ). It doesn't mean what you are doing isn't working, just they are having an off day.

that's public of course

we've started using the naughty step for DS2 for the moments when he is outrageously violent to his big brother.
Actually he seems to respond to it well but this may be because he sees his brother doing it and maybe he thinks it's pretty cool. it probably works enough just as a distraction as he's usually forgotten what he was doing by the time we're finished.
It's early days for this as he's only just starting doing things like hitting out, so i'm not sure how it'll work out yet.
BTW he doesn't do the full minute and a half, just 15-30 seconds.

I; watching this with interest as its why I've come on here now!

Did kind of try naughty step but needs some tips on the exact thing I should be doing - my dd is 17m and trust me she understands!!

What Umlellala said

MOST important thing imo is to PRAISE good behaviour! Don't go ott about bad behaviour - any attention is good as far as an 18 mo is concerned, so much of the 'bad' behaviour will be attention seeking. That's prob why it's so bad at friends' houses - you are busy with friends so not giving him attention he craves. Great way to get it is to behave like a little demon! So spend as much time as you can telling him how GOOD he's being.

Yes, agree with Fortyplus. Give lots of positive attention (it is easy to do, even when you are drinking coffee with your friend 'oh, are you both building a BIG tower? wow!'- go back to coffee and gossip ).

Personally, wouldnt bother with naughty step at this age (if any?) as all it does is make a big deal and highlight the behaviour they are experimenting with. Far better to model and show what is expected of them and yes, praise them when they do. If you really think they need a 'time out' then put them somewhere else for a few seconds, and then explain/model/show what you want them to do now.