Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Putting 2 year old back into own bed!

19 replies

inthemaking · 01/01/2009 20:30

Tonight i have put my dd in her own after sleeping in my bed on n off for the past year.

She got in the bath n wwe went down stairs got some cereal and then went up to bed and read a story! She was fine, then i said give mammy a kiss then she stated crying! She was sat at her door crying and shouting mammy, daddy im crying! The she started saying - Love you mammy!

I though she was just quieting down when her dad walked in the front door n shes started crying again!

Is this ok to leave her like that. I really need her to go back into her room. I have tried sleeping next to her till shes asleep and iv waited till shes fell asleep down stairs then put her in her own bed but it doesnt work?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fizzbuzz · 01/01/2009 21:32

No advice, but lots of symp.

We have given up the battle to get dd to sleep in her bed. It lasted 2 years, and we would just get her sorted, then she would be ill/there would be fireworks/moon was in the wrong quarter/venus rising/ etc etc

She is in with us every night now....but we all get some kip

Original poster

inthemaking · 01/01/2009 21:36

My dd kicks you all night and my boss is not impressed when i go into work tired plus want another baby so i really need to get her in own bed really! I didnt no if it would be ok to leave her like that or sit in the room!
She will wake in the middle of the night and im going to have to do it again.

It doesnt help though when her daddy wont leave her to cry n we end up arguing!

OP posts:

fizzbuzz · 02/01/2009 10:14

I put a pillow inbetween me and dd, to stop her kicking me

I think you need to keep going in and out to her until she settles. Leaving her to scream for ever will make it worse. So do controlled crying thing, 5 mims, 10 mins, 15 mins, and keep putting her back inbed with no eye contact

Original poster

inthemaking · 02/01/2009 10:41

Last night after puttin her back a few times she sat in her bed crying! A few times she was sat at her door n when she seen me going upstairs she ran back into her bed? If i kept going she never would of settled! I checked on her after she had stopped crying for a bit n she had got back into bed and had put the cover back over. Then I woke at 3 and went to check on her!

OP posts:

Umlellala · 02/01/2009 10:59

Sounds like a successful night! We are about to get back to putting dd (2.7) in her own bed. Tbh she is usually fine. Things that help:

making sure she is actually tired
staying with her til she is aseep/very sleepy (but telling her we will be going downstairs)
preppig/talking lots during the day about how she will be sleeping in her bed tonight (ie so its not a shock at bedtime)
getting her room all nice and tidy, changing bedinen etc
being consistent in what you want, but not worrying about how you get there (eg we want her sleeping in her own bed, leaving her to self-settle not the issue at moment.)
dd has cried but i tend to go in and comfort but not giving in, iykwim. sometimes finding a compromise (ok, ill stay for a minute)

If she really is distressed we tend to trust her. We have found she is more likely to go back to her bed happily if we have 'given in' if she really needs it.

re the kicking - we just crossly say 'STOP kicking me'

Original poster

inthemaking · 02/01/2009 11:06

All afternoon I kept saying your a big girl who is going to sleep in her bed and she was agreeing. She went in the bath and i said your going into your big girls bed - she was fine, (like always) Then went to bed and read a story - then i gave her a kiss and said goodnight she started screaming!
All she wants to do is sleep in my bed and she doesnt like been left on her own!

This morning though i said she was a big girl for sleeping in her own bed n she said mammy nasty leaving me!

Its our fault because she was always a good baby and it was us just being lazy-when she was waking in the night i just put in my bed and it went from there.

OP posts:

Umlellala · 02/01/2009 11:19

Oh poor thing .

I usualy say that mummy has to go and have a cup of tea (!) and she understands... it's hard isn't it?

If I had my way, she would just be sleeping with us until she decided to move out

suiledonn · 02/01/2009 11:58

Hi inthemaking, I really sympathise with your situation. My dd1 will be 3 in May and still sleeps mainly in our bed. We also have a dd2 who is 7 weeks old. I wish I had sorted out the sleeping situation before dd2 arrived as the first few weeks were a nightmare, they kept waking each other up. If you are thinking of having a second dc now is the time to sort out the sleeping.

We have started putting dd1 in her own room at night now but dh has to stay with her til she falls asleep. He is sleeping in her room for the moment as he thinks it will help her settle but to be honest I think it will make it harder for her to adjust. We have made some headway though as until recently she would not settle for anyone but me so at least she will sleep with dh now. She still comes in to me at some stage though - not till 7.20 this morning so we all had a good nights sleep. Best of luck.

XmasPud · 02/01/2009 12:06

Awww, I really sympathise. DD1 adjusted to her own bed (little before DD2 arrived) but DD2 found the bed thing really hard.

We improved things by making her bed into an "amazing" magical bed. She came out on a special girly shopping mission and chose her own special princess bedding, we bought a gorgeous (bloody hideous) fluffly pink heart cushion, a special new bed teddy to snuggle in with etc etc. Sounds overkill but we were desperate! I think we got all the stuff from Ikea so not an expensive shopping trip by any means - just enough to make her feel special. At home she helped make the bed, choose which toys went where etc etc and kept harping on about how lucky she was and what a big treat it was etc etc. It definitely helped. She got in happily enough and only took a few evenings of us being firm and insistent to get her to stay in the bed.
Stick with it, try to change her mindset about the bed - not leaving yours behind but going to a wonderful special place - and hopefully it will not take many nights.

I would talk to DH about it and insist he backs you up if she tests you out about it. If you give in sometimes she will just learn to push and push and push - harder long term. (and I am being a little hypocritical there as I definitely have made that mistake enough times in the past!)

Good luck xx

Original poster

inthemaking · 03/01/2009 13:36

Thanx for the advice!

Last night i ended up laying next to her to get to sleep because when she went to run away she hit her head off the wall really hard so i was crying and ended up taking her downstairs for a bit to make sure she was ok!

Do you think she will get over thinking i am horrible for leaving! Last night she knew what was coming and cried when i said lets go and read a book in bed!

I am going to have to be cruel to be kind because i have tried making it fun and making out thats its a really good thing but she just screams at me!

OP posts:

Umlellala · 03/01/2009 13:59

Personally, I would sympathise but be firm, eg do you miss mummy? aw, well you can cuddle dolly.'
waaaah, bt you're so mean
i know, sweetheart, you are a bit scared but mumy needs to go and have a cup of tea and youre tired.

bla bla
(sort of like the book 'how to talk...')

Also, does it matter if you lay next to her if she then sleeps in her own bed? Sounds good to me

Original poster

inthemaking · 03/01/2009 14:12

I dont mind sleeping next to her but ill have to go into her bed with her if she wakes in night!

I might try n get her to sleep with me next to her then after shes ok with going to her own bed and starts sleeping all night then try n leave her to get to sleep on her own!

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 03/01/2009 14:28

inthemaking you sound like you are winning the battle. personally i would keep trying to leave her in her room and just come away, (if she will stay in bed) i wouldnt start to sleep next to her if you can help it. i started that and its hard to get out of, now our dd just comes into our room in the night and sleeps with us, which just means we both get kicked and cold and nevef have a good night sleep

Original poster

inthemaking · 03/01/2009 14:32

I just dont want her to hurt herself or end up haiting me!

She keeps telling me that im nasty because i left her to cry and she runs away from me!

I just hope she doesnt hate me and eventually goes to her bed without crying!

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 03/01/2009 14:35

once she gets used to staying in her bed she would be fine and acceot it as her bedtime.

listen to me, going on like i know what i am talking aobuyt! i know what to do in thery but practice is ALOT harder isnt it!

does she have a stair gate on her room? my dd doesnt as i didnt want it to become a place she was afraid of or felt traooed in, btu she still doesnt like sleeping in there so fat lot of good that has done us

Original poster

inthemaking · 03/01/2009 14:45

iv got a stair gate at the top of my stairs and she goes there and shouts down the stairs but i went straight up and put her back into her bed!

Oh - last night she was also biting herself because after she had banged her head i was giving her a cuddle and there was bite marks on her arms!

She certainly knows how to get her own way!

Its just annoying how she used to be so good - but that is my own fault for taking her out of her routine!

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 03/01/2009 14:53

its not your fault, you never know how they are going to react to change, my dd used ot be so good when she was in her cot but moved her to a bed nad all hell broke loose when she realised she could get out.

just dont start anything or do something 'just this once' cause it never is and then they want it everynight.

Original poster

inthemaking · 03/01/2009 14:57

I will keep trying for the rest of weekend adn next week and if still nothing changing i will probs be back on - pulling me hair out!

Thanx v. much!

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 03/01/2009 15:39

dont worry you are not alone

Flip